Showing posts with label Seriously. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Seriously. Show all posts

Boardwalk Empire "Ging Gang Goolie" Review: Nucky's Back! (No Seriously This Time. Maybe.)

Boardwalk Empire S03E06: "Ging Gang Goolie"

While I've been enjoying this season of Boardwalk Empire quite a bit, we are now halfway through it and there's one big problem that keeps bothering me: Nucky's story doesn't make a lick of sense. Every week, he seems like a different person than he was the episode before, and the show is struggling to create any through-line between his various characterizations.

And it is not like the situations Nucky finds himself wrapped up in each week have been uninteresting. I might question a single choice here and there, but the odd flaws make Nucky a compelling center on a show with a lot of things going on. However, when you start thinking about the bigger picture and what Terence Winter and company have in mind for their lead, the weekly pleasures fade and the problems appear. It's almost as if Nucky is at the whim of the writers' needs in any given episode.

One week, he's in full-gangster mode. The next, he's hiding in New York. Then he's tough again. Then he's not. I'm willing to buy that the character is troubled and that his issues manifest in weird ways, but at a certain point, character inconsistency becomes a writer issue more than anything else. After six weeks, I think we've reached that point.

"Ging Gang Goolie" brought us a more inspired and dedicated Nucky, which is fine except that the episode didn't feature Rothstein or Gyp. There was barely any fallout from last week's bloodbath and instead, Nucky bounced around New York City and Washington D.C. trying to fix his political problems.

He traveled to NYC to make his payment to Gaston Means, only to find no one around in the hotel room with the fishbowl. Suspicious, Nuck then scooted over to D.C. to talk shop with Attorney General Harry Daugherty, only to learn that Daugherty was close to indicting him so that he wouldn't have to throw his friends under the bus. Despite Nucky's protestations, Daugherty meant business, going as far as to make sure Nucky got arrested for buying a bottle of booze.

After spending a night in jail—and missing Billie's opening in the process—Nucky faced off with Esther Randolph, the Assistant U.S. Attorney who came after him in Atlantic City. Though she wanted Nuck to go down hard, he paid the measely fine (five bucks!) and then decided to use Randolph's ambition to his advantage, asking her to help him take down the supposed bigger fish like Daugherty and his buddy George Remus.

This is the version of Nucky that seems the most natural. The political maneuvering, the somewhat-smug posturing in hopes of obtaining just a little more power (or slinking out of a sticky situation), it all sits on Nucky quite well. The gangster stuff, the more obvious intimidation games? Not so much. Steve Buscemi has been doing good work this season with the uneven material he's been given, but it seems to me that he's also most comfortable when playing Nucky in these kinds of situations. Boardwalk Empire is very good at getting Nucky into troublesome circumstances that he has to charm, pay, or scheme his way out of, and although that might seem somewhat repetitive, it still works better than the more inconsistent characterization we've seen thus far.

But that's the rub, right? There have been other episodes this season that did compelling things with Nucky, only to have them be somewhat shoved away the following week (remember when he spent an entire episode seeing little Jimmy?). The events of this episode suggest that Nucky's team-up with Randolph will continue throughout the rest of the season, but I also would've thought there'd be substantive blowback from the Benny-Rosetti shootout in this episode as well. Perhaps this unbalanced storytelling is a direct result of the show's ever-increasing scope and cast of characters—the first 10 or so minutes of this episode sped through a handful of locations with unabashed speed—or perhaps the writers are trying to purposefully construct a story about Nucky ignoring certain parts of his life so that he can focus on others. Both seem like logical answers, but something needs to give with Nucky. Either the show can't portray him in this disjointed fashion anymore, or it has to give us a reason for why it's doing so.

Much like the slowly burning embers of Nucky's crusade against the Attorney General, the rest of "Ging Gang Goolie" saw a number of other characters making big and curious choices that should have a dramatic impact on their lives. And for whatever reason, they all involved love and lust.

The most impressive of these stories was Gillian's, with her troubled feelings over Jimmy's "departure." She finally decided to take down the countless photos of him in the house—I'm sure all the gentlemen who frequent her establishment sure did love doing their thing while Jimmy Darmody's blank mug stared back at them—a move that points toward her moving on. But because this is Gillian we're talking about, she followed up the picture-removal by prowling the boardwalk for a Jimmy replacement and whaddaya know, she found Roger from Evansville, Indiana (Hoosiers represent!), who just happened to have the same horrid haircut as Jimmy. So, Gillian sexed him real good and decided to call him James. Hoo boy is this lady dysfunctional, and Gretchen Mol has done a nice job this season of portraying her demented psyche with low-key vigor.

Margaret ended the episode in the same place as Gillian, but took much more Margaret-y ways to get there. When the greenhouse caught fire and there was suspicion that her son Teddy started the blaze, Margaret begrudgingly spanked him (seriously, I think it hurt her more than it did him). Unfortunately, Owen discovered that Teddy didn't actually do it and his story about a gypsy was actually true, leading Margaret to have a minor breakdown and decide that "now" was just as good a time as any to seduce Owen again. There was less drama involved this time since Margaret and Nucky are on the outs anyway, but I have to imagine that Nucky will find out—heck, she might tell him herself—and considering the already-present tension between Owen and Nucky, this could get interesting.

And finally, Richard Harrow, romantic. He's got a little crush on the daughter of a drunken war vet. That's cute. I'm more intrigued by his nostalgia over his sister and whether or not we'll see her this season. Richard's been really aimless without Jimmy around (like so many other characters), so hopefully this development injects some life into his presence on the show.

It's been tough to evaluate Boardwalk Empire this season. Most episodes have been good, with last week's pretty clearly standing out from the pack. But there's such a weird disconnect between certain plots, particularly those related to Nucky, that it's difficult to get too excited about the successes of one episode because it could all be washed away in a week. "Ging Gang Goolie" was another strong effort, and one that suggests some big, compelling things to come. Hopefully the show follows through on them.

– Like so many characters on Boardwalk, Gaston Means' only allegiance is to himself. He might be backing Daugherty, he might be willing to help Nuck take him down. Who knows?

– I especially enjoyed the D.C. judge who was well aware of the stupidity and impotency of Prohibition and prosecution against individual usage.

1. TIE: Nucky and Daugherty (both previously unranked): These guys are coming after one another and although Daugherty has the power of the U.S. government behind him, Nucky always finds a way to punch back. Grabbing Randolph to help him was a sly move by Nuck.

3. Gillian (previous rank: N/A): Nobody manipulates a man with a terrible hairstyle like Ms. Darmody.

4. Margaret (previous rank: 3): She mishandled her kid a little, sure, but you have to admire how she steadfastly ignored Nucky's platitudes and hollow attempts to "talk." And then she stole Owen away from Megan and the nosy neighbor! By the way, Marge is the only character who appeared in the Power Rankings every week so far this season. This is important.

5. That Glib Judge in D.C. (previous rank: N/A): I can't overestimate how much I loved this guy. He says LOL to your Prohibition, U.S. government.


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American Horror Story: Asylum Premiere Review: Butt Seriously Folks (PHOTO RECAP)

American Horror Story S02E01: "Welcome to Briarcliff"

Well, here we go. Ryan Murphy's dark caravan returned under the cover of darkness last night to set up its elaborate tents of untold horror. That's right, TV's craziest carnival is back and this time it's arguably even weirder, grimmer, and more unpleasant than its first season! Which is a compliment? I think?

American Horror Story: Asylum brings us all new characters, a new building, a new decade, and a new color scheme (charcoal!). But whereas Season 1 had mostly to do with spectral horrors, it's already clear that Asylum is more concerned with tangible monstrosities. Look, I need to be real with you guys. Can I be real for a second? You may recall that I did not love Season 1's premiere episode. As a lifelong horror fan, I recognized all of the elements and tropes Ryan Murphy was attempting to stitch together into a coherent narrative, but from its frenetic editing to the clashing story elements, it just didn't come together for me. I was straight-up baffled by a lot of it, to be honest. That being said, it left me interested and that interest never waned throughout the show's first season. In fact, it grew and blossomed into intense enjoyment and slight obsession. Boy did I end up loving how things turned out. Sure, AHS: Original Recipe hit a few bum notes with me (showing us the school shooting; the unnecessarily hateful gay couple), but when it ended I declared it a triumph. That's why I'm experiencing a bit of déja vu with this, the premiere of American Horror Story: Asylum: I didn't love it, but I am INTERESTED.

Assuming that "Welcome to Briarcliff" was less a complete episode of television and more like the overture to an insane 12-hour movie that may eventually cohere into an entertaining story, let's just appreciate the madness we've witnessed so far. Mind if I photo-recap this thing? I feel like photo-recapping this thing. Let's do it!

First of all, this ain't no joke, and it applies even to this recap:

Anyway, the story opened in the present day. Two horny newlyweds (Adam Levine, plus the lady who shares a bed with Channing Tatum in real life) were snapping photos of each other in front of an abandoned building while making sexy talk and the whole scene was filmed with Instagram filters:

At this point we got a bit of an info dump (via the main lady reading Wikipedia on her iPhone): The Briarcliff used to be a tuberculosis ward where 46,000 people died but it was eventually acquired by the Catholic church and turned into an insane asylum. Also at one point there was a slasher killer named Bloody Face who once lived here. (Honestly, if you need to know more about this place, go watch that documentary Cropsy since that seemed to be the main thing Ryan Murphy was ripping off paying homage to in this segment.)

Anyway, after the world's least sexy pair of haunted house nymphos interrupted their electroshock-chair quickie to investigate a mysterious sound, it should go without saying that they eventually wound up in front of an ironclad door, where she started doing sex to his crotchal area as he stuck a camera phone through the slot, only to get his arm ripped off by some unseen force. All that should go without saying.

Whoops! And that is how Adam Levine got his arm ripped off in the modern-day insane asylum.

So then the main story kicked in, and it began in 1964 in what I think was upstate New York, but I'm not sure because I was educated in the California public school system and the whole upper right part of our country's map is a mess and a mystery to me. All I know is, Evan Peters (who in Season 1 played Tate, a character I hated but every troubled teenager on Tumblr LOVED SO MUCH) now plays the new lead character Kit, a decent, hard-working gas station attendant with a Kennedy accent.

Right off the bat: Better haircut, better personality. Kit >>>> Tate. Unfortunately Kit's friends were NOT very cool.

Yeah, it's 1964, remember, and that fact would come into play A LOT during this episode inasmuch as it explained why the characters tended to behave monstrously toward one another. (I actually loved that: Sure, this show has aliens, forest monsters, and much worse, but the sheer fact of being alive in 1964 was presented as the ultimate horror.)

Kit had to endure his friends' violent racism because he himself was secretly married to a woman of color. Ugh, 1964. If these two hotties had to keep it on the down-low it was definitely a terrible era. (Fun fact, Kit's wife was played by Britne Oldford from MTV's Skins. Remember THAT disaster? She was basically the only thing about that show that wasn't awful, so I was very happy to see her here!)

Just gonna put this here:

So anyway, after some pre-dinner booty, Kit's reverie was interrupted by a BRIGHT LIGHT in the yard. After running outside with a shotgun to scare away potential racists, he had a Fire in the Sky UFO moment and ran back inside.

At this point he got stuck on the ceiling and then blacked out. We, on the other hand, got some quick flashes of aliens with inappropriate mouth shapes:

Aaaahhhh!! Aliens! Already I was way into this season.

Then we switched locations. Here's how the Briarcliff Asylum looked back in 1964:

It looked very coral! So here we followed an enterprising young lady reporter named Lana (Sarah Paulson, who played Billie the Lifetime psychic during S1) as she attempted to, I don't know, investigate whatever?

Oh, Pepper. Pepper might be the fall's newest breakout star, y'all! Also, she's a murderer.

A nun named Sister Mary Eunice (Lily Rabe, who played that flapper-lookin', baby stealing ghost in S1) met Lana and took her through the asylum.

It definitely looked like a good place for people to go and heal, you know? Like, this was totally a place to go and just chill. Recuperate. Get a new lease on life.

When we first met the head boss lady, Sister Jude (Jessica Lange, a walking masterpiece), she was shaving Chlöe Sevigny's head for real, so we knew this lady was serious.

Although Chlöe Sevigny was only credited as a "special guest star," her Shelley character was one of the best things about the whole episode. A clinical nymphomaniac, all her lines were dirty and/or helpful. Often both! Good character, obviously.

So yeah, then Lana pretended to interview Sister Jude about the asylum's famous bakery (which, LOL) only to immediately reveal she was there for some harder-hitting scoops. Especially with regard to the newest incoming inmate, a man allegedly behind the Bloody Face slashings of late. Sister Jude was NOT happy about Lana's duplicity.

Oh and yeah, spoiler alert, guess who was being pinned with the Bloody Face rap?

Poor Kit! There are bad weeks and then there are bad weeks. Alien abduction, wife getting murdered and skinned alive, false imprisonment, showing your butt on national television.

Congratulations, Evan Peters! You've just scored a whole new subgenre of Tumblrs! But yeah, you guys, please stop looking at Evan Peters' butt for a second and try to remember that this whole thing was traumatizing for Kit!

After a fire-hose shower and a de-lousing, Kit was strapped to a bed and given a condescending lecture by Sister Jude.

He attempted to explain that he hadn't been a slasher killer, only an alien abductee.

For her part, Sister Jude remained a wonderful representative of the Catholic church, espousing the greatness of the Lord while also lying, beating, and being totally racist and hateful toward her patients. Just trying to make the Baby Jesus proud, you know?

Fortunately Kit's experience at the asylum wasn't without highlights. For instance he met a saucer-eyed French girl named Grace (Lizzie Brocheré) who not only seemed kind, but also claimed to not be insane at all. So, that's credibility right there. Anyway, even this nice moment didn't prevent Kit from getting into a fistfight in the world's worst common room. Solitary confinement it was!

Then we met Dr. Arden (James Cromwell, who played Marcy the Realtor in S1) who seemed to be the asylum's resident mad scientist. The main thing about him was that he and Sister Jude despised each other, and her power over the facility ended at his doorstep. He was clearly doing his own thing, and it clearly involved feeding the patients to some unseen monstrosity, as in this near-subliminal image that flashed while he was denying everything:

So yeah, it was an interesting dynamic in that Sister Jude was clearly a villain, but Dr. Arden was probably an even bigger villain that she hated.

So in another big 1964 moment, we learned that Lana had a "roommate" (Clea Duvall, currently in theaters playing Argo in Argo) whom she enjoyed kissing on the mouth whenever the shades were drawn.

Here's a twist I did not expect: Sister Jude had some human flaws, and even an inner life full of wants and needs! For example, though she was a pious servant of the Lord and His mama, she still enjoyed everyday sensualities like wearing red unmentionables and weirdly putting on perfume and also frying bacon and gazing lustfully at her dreamy monsignor (Joseph Fiennes/Shakespeare).

As it turned out, the main man behind this asylum (and Sister Jude's diocese) had designs on becoming New York's Archbishop and after that the Pope! And in order to do those things he wanted to generate headlines (I guess) by turning Briarcliff into the world's most headline-grabbing asylum (or whatever). And that included allowing the in-house mad scientist to work his magic and create whatever headline-grabbing monstrosity he could (possibly). I don't know, this scene was more about subtext: Sister Jude would have literally done anything for a single shirtless hug from this guy.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, you guys. This was just a fantasy sequence. Stop undressing Jessica Lange with your eyes! Come on, get real. Never gonna happen. This isn't Red Shoe Diaries, fellas. Relax. Take a cold shower already.

So in addition to getting bossed around by Sister Jude, Sister Mary Eunice was also getting bossed around by Dr. Arthur, and in this scene he ordered her to go leave a bucket full of body parts out in some forest clearing where the sounds of monsters could be heard approaching. We saw nothing, but it was clear these things were REAL and not just Sigourney Weaver in a cloak. (Though those things DO sound similar.) After dumping the human gizzards and bolting back inside, Sister Eunice was intercepted by a snooping Lana, who blackmailed Sister Eunice into giving her a tour of the facility in the middle of the night for some reason. Just getting the scoop!

Meanwhile Dr. Arthur wanted to run experiments on Kit's brain because of how much evil must've been inside his "cute blonde melon." Haha, Dr. Arthur, you big flirt.

So yeah, this particular check-up did not look very fun. Very Clockwork Orangey. Also it reminded Kit mostly of how annoying his saucer-ride had been.

He did not have a good time, but he did have a GOO time. Because goo. Also alien busyfingers. Guys, I think Kit may have gotten buttsexed by an alien.

So then the doctor pulled out of Kit what was clearly an alien microchip. But it was kinda big, suggesting that even aliens had crappy technology in 1964.

And then LOLOLOL the chip grew legs and ran away! WTF x infinity?? Ryan Murphy you crazy for that one.

Meanwhile Lana was still snoopin' around. Shelley took a break from mouth-sexin' an orderly and directed her to the solitary confinement areas so that Lana could, I don't know, be a reporter?

But then a monster hand reached out and slammed her head against the door! (P.S. I think this is the same door that Adam Levine lost his arm to earlier, but I'm not sure, I'm not Sherlock.)

The next day Sister Jude eventually found out that Sister Eunice had helped Lana explore the facility and she was TICKED.

But since Sister Eunice had super low self-esteem, she just cut to the chase, brought Sister Jude her whippin' rod (the biggest one she could find in Sister Jude's whippin' rod closet) and even pulled down her unmentionables for Sister Jude's convenience.

But apparently Sister Jude gets annoyed when a bare-ass whippin' isn't HER idea, so she was like, "No way, girl." Oh well.

So then, a particularly horrible moment for Lana (and 1964, and US AS HUMANS): Sister Jude coerced Lana's ladyfriend into having Lana committed to the facility, in exchange for not outing her to her town.

Man, this was pretty hard to watch. Sister Jude didn't even really make that much sense: First she said the girlfriend couldn't visit Lana because she had no legal standing. Then she said that the girlfriend DID have legal standing to have her committed? I didn't get it. But Lana did:

Uh oh, Lana! But look at the bright side: If your memory is decent, you can REALLY get the inside scoop now. She can bust this whole story wide open like a lady Geraldo. (Which, no joke, he DID do to a particularly nightmarish mental health facility in Long Island. I'm not kidding, go watch Cropsy!)

As for the monster pit where Lana conked her head, Sister Jude came to check it out only to find Dr. Archer scrubbing and Febrezing the EFF out of it. Where'd that monster go, Doc? Sister Jude was now officially on the warpath and these two titans of awful looked to be headed for a clash!

Anyway, the episode then ended back in the modern day: Mrs. Channing Tatum was scrambling through the facility's hallways trying to find an exit for her poor, one-armed The Voice judge, and accidentally came face-to-face with the man of the hour!

AAAHHHH!! Bloody Face, you've over-exfoliated!!! No but seriously, this guy looked terrible. It's probably just a mask that the killer is wearing, but don't tell me it doesn't smell terrible. I think we're dealing with a lunatic here, guys. That's my theory.

So hey, I'm not trying to tell you this was a perfect hour of television. For one thing, it was edited like a Michael Bay film on Adderall. Relax, editors! Absolutely no atmosphere or tension can be developed when there's a cut every 1.5 seconds and half the shots are Dutch angles. When it comes to how this thing is filmed, I'd prefer more Shining and less Saw II, thank you. Slow it down. Creep us out. You can do it. But yeah, this WAS a great appetizer for a meal I really want to eat. Consider my ticket purchased!

QUESTIONS:

... Which actors are better in Season 2 than Season 1?

... Who exactly is the main character, anyway?

... Would you rather be abducted by aliens or wrongfully accused of mass murder?

... #BUTTS


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