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In the Season 1 finale of Once Upon a Time, we saw a purple cloud swallow up Storybrooke just as the inhabitants remembered their pre-existing lives as fairies, princesses, and werewolves. Remembering their true pasts will be a big upgrade for some, but for others it will be a huge inconvenience. ("Oh right, I ate my boyfriend that one time." —Ruby) The individual battle for a cohesive personal identity will be fought alongside the larger war between good and evil that will be unleashed now Mr. Gold has returned magic powers to the frumpy denizens of this small Maine town, and one of the battlefields for both those struggles will be people's hair and clothes.

So join me while I use my very entry-level Photoshop skills to mock up some makeovers for our Storybrooke characters now that their memories—and their magic—has been restored.

I CANNOT WAIT for the fairies'—the Blue Fairy and the Seriously Stupid Fairy—real personalities to start manifesting. As one of the more potent forces for good, if magic indeed comes back into Storybrooke the fairies will be large and in charge and looking very silly. I mean, let's be real: The fairies back in the fairy-tale world looked like strippers as styled by Lisa Frank, and while I'm not sure if having their memories suppressed will affect their monastic vows, I have no doubt they are going to be giving the nun dress code the old heave-ho and slathering themselves in body glitter and hair jewels and glitter tattoos and everything else a dizzy 14-year-old would pick up at a Wal-Mart a week before the Big Dance. Consistency, Kitsis and Horowitz! These ladies better have fake eyelashes and glow-in-the-dark nail polish in Season 2!

Now that he's got his lady, his magic, and his hair straightener back, it would seem that Mr. Gold has it all. Or will the return of magic come at the cost of Belle? Would Belle and Rumple's kiss of true love be the one thing that could break this new spell, which is based in true love? I hope not, but if that is the case, then can't Belle just kiss him everywhere BUT his mouth? I'm going to assume the purple cloud WON'T change Mr. Gold back into his former self, looking like a reptile who crawled through some body glitter, because then wouldn't the feds get involved? (Although hopefully some form of state news covers the purple cloud. China's Yangtze River going red did make international headlines.)

I personally am looking forward to a Dexter-like arc where Ruby uses her werewolf transitioning, returned by Mr. Gold's magic, to take out enemies of Snow's family. And then, eventually, people who piss her off or smell tasty (do not wear vanilla body spray in Storybrooke). I see a lot of red plaids for her (they hide bloodstains well), a more nude makeup scheme (wolves look stupid in cat-eye liner), and blood all up in her mouth:

Mary Margaret was enough of a chump to get strung along by David Nolan, framed by Regina, and keep the top pearl buttons buttoned on her numerous beige cardigans. We saw Mary and David embrace as their better selves, Snow and Charming, before the cloud hit, and of course we want to know how are they going to deal with their grizzled, grizzled daughter and all her problems. Luckily, Snow White is an ass-kicking, blood-lusty woman who may know how to "reach" troubled bounty-hunter Emma. But, much like Emma, even when she acted tough Snow LOOOVED her some extensions. She also jazzed up her active wear with crushed velvet cowls, and shameless real fur accents. Hopefully Mary Margaret will tap into Snow's bad-assery enough to weaponize and defend her super-awkward new family.

Charming was never a prince, he was a shaggy-headed shepherd who got swapped in for a speared Prince. So for him I predict a return to woolen sweaters, the reemergence of his curly fro (see the Season 1 episode "The Shephard" for evidence), and definitely Birkenstock clogs (not pictured). This low-key cozy-man lifestyle fits in better with how David's acted during Season 1: like a total scrub, cowardly stringing along a wife and mistress and occasionally going for stoned walks in the woods. (Remember when Mary Margaret kept finding him just standing all Blair Witch in the wilderness after Cathryn went missing? Did he come across the pot patch Mr. Gold's been growing out there? Who knows.) I'd be totally delighted if he regained the courage and swagger he had as Charming, but I cannot allow that kind of hope.

Emma has a lot on her hands: She brought her child back to life with a single kiss, and now she may have to face parents her same age, one of whom used to be her nerdy roommate. Obviously she'll be the main target of Regina, and I'd assume Emma is now Henry's de facto guardian. With all this going on, Emma has no choice but to cut her hair. Seriously, she has been carrying around a thatch of twenty pounds' worth of matted blonde sausage curls like she's Mary Pickford or something. It's time for a tasteful pageboy or a nice A-line. In fact, here's a range of styles of medium to short length hair that will look great on Emma:

Well, cat's out of the bag. Everyone knows you're evil, even your own son, and that you're responsible for everyone's damp and miserable and boring lives. You can no longer fool anyone into thinking you're a sleek, sensible, single-mom mayor, 'cuz everyone knows you're just a psychopathic EVIL WITCH. So OWN it, baby, own it, that's the only way to go. We've seen Regina in crazy bangs and pilgrim hats and leather ball gowns in flashbacks, and with the variety of synthetic materials available here on Earth she has no excuse for not becoming the Lady Gaga of Storybrooke. The best defense is a good offense and a bewildering plastic ball gown is one hell of an offense, on the senses and otherwise. Who knows what Regina will do with magic in the real world, but if she really wanted to she could at least get a single on the charts.

Am I obsessing too much? I might be, but let me know who I missed and what changes you think they're going to be making going into Season 2!

QUESTIONS:

– So how do you think the characters of Storybrooke will change now that they've got their memories and magic back?

– Who do you think might be disappointed about getting their magic back?

– What will happen with Rumple and Belle? Will Mr. Gold stay looking human or will using magic cost him his dreamboat looks?

– Snow and Charming and Emma and Henry: super-awkward family nights or better late than never?

Once Upon a Time Season 2 premieres this Sunday, September 30 at 8pm on ABC.

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With each new television season, there is a great deal at stake. Expectations for new shows are high across the board (even at The CW, where execs are surely hoping something pops this fall), and they'll surely get the most attention. But it's not just new shows or networks amid an overhaul that are under pressure to make good on promises made at Upfronts or in the press—veteran shows and even individual performers can be in those situations as well. Basically, everyone has something to prove, even if they are facing different stages of expectations—and we in the media like to translate those challenges into compact narratives and then repeat them over and over.

With that in mind, let's explore some of the narratives you'll probably read or hear about quite often this fall and predict what shows, people, or networks will be attached to them.

Applies to: Supernatural, Dexter, Glee

These three shows are all at different stages in their lifespans, but they all have important things to prove. Supernatural is under new management—Sera Gamble is out, Jeremy Carver is (back) in—and while the show can skate by on the charm and chemistry of its leads, the last few seasons have been messy to say the least. Carver's a strong writer and did well running Being Human, but is there really enough of the Winchester brothers' story left to tell?

Dexter is similarly long in the tooth and has also churned out a few less-than-beloved seasons in a row. However, unlike Supernatural, the end seems actually near, which means it's time to stop the wheel-spinning. The show has one big card to play (Deb learning the whole truth), and until that happens, the holding pattern won't be compelling enough.

Although younger than the other two shows in this grouping, Glee is still showing signs of severe wear and tear. With the nature of the story (manic, heightened and scattered) and its creator (Ryan Murphy) in mind, I won't be surprised if the bottom completely falls out this season. Glee has never balanced its characters well and now that they're all over the country and a half-dozen new ones are coming in, that sort of mismanagement is only likely to intensify.

Applies to: Gossip Girl, The Office, Fringe, 30 Rock, and maybe How I Met Your Mother

In a weird bit of chance, there are several shows with announced end dates heading into this season. Gossip Girl, The Office, Fringe, and 30 Rock are done for sure and if the cast of How I Met Your Mother has their way, HIMYM will be too. With so many long-running series shows coming to close, there will be talk of "sticking the landing" and "ending on a high note." The good news here is that of the ones that are definitely wrapping things up, only Fringe has any big narrative threads to tie up (which the show has made more challenging by going to the future, but that's neither here nor there). If HIMYM concludes, obviously there will be necessary "answers" and maybe you're one of those people who desperately wants to know the identity of the Scranton Strangler, but for the most part, these shows just need to send of their characters in a satisfying way.

Nevertheless, I'm curious to see how The Office and 30 Rock (and again, maybe HIMYM) come to a close. We haven't had a popular comedy come to a true close for a while now—not since Friends, Frasier, and Everybody Loves Raymond—and there's definitely something different that goes into ending a show like that versus a big mythology drama.

And as long as Gossip Girl concludes with Serena miserable and alone like she deserves to be, I'm fine with whatever else happens.

Applies to: Scandal, Suburgatory, and Hart of Dixie on a "breakout" basis, and Once Upon a Time, Revenge, New Girl, and American Horror Story on the "slump" side of things

Despite some big duds ('sup, Work It?!) that are now in the great TV schedule in the sky, last season brought us some really good freshman shows. Now in their second season, different questions remain for different series. For shows that received a lot of press and quality ratings last season (Once Upon a Time, Revenge, New Girl, and American Horror Story), people will be looking to see if they can keep the momentum going. Will OUaT's premise be damaged by characters remembering their past lives, or by magic? Will Revenge be overtaken by the kind of kitchen-sink plotting that often screws up soapy dramas in their sophomore years? Will American Horror Story be able to keep the title of "Show That Is Simultaneously the Best and the Worst Thing Ever?"

Weirdly, I think AHS has the best chance to stay on track, but of course that's made easier by its upcoming reset and it being so terrible.

Meanwhile, there are three shows (Scandal, Suburgatory, and Hart of Dixie) that weren't as successful or as popular as that other trio that could be looking to break out. Scandal didn't have a lot of time to get going in Season 1 but the pieces are there. Chances are good that Suburgatory takes the leap that so many comedies do in their second season. And though I don't think the narrative or quality will change that much, I think Hart of Dixie might do better in a new timeslot in what could be an okay season for The CW.

Applies to: Community, Boardwalk Empire, The Walking Dead

The biggie here is obviously Community, which moves into its fourth season without original creator and showrunner Dan Harmon. Fans and critics alike are worried about the show's ability to continue at the same level without Harmon's very unique voice, and while I'm hopeful that the show will be fine, it's hard not to have some concern.

For Boardwalk Empire and The Walking Dead, it's all about the loss of major characters. A great deal of Boardwalk's Season 2 success stemmed from the great stories centered around Michael Pitt's Jimmy, and The Walking Dead got a lot of mileage out of Jon Bernthal's Shane being a loose cannon. Both characters arguably made their respective show's "true" leads much more interesting, and without them around, Boardwalk's Nucky and Walking Dead's Rick need to move forward—but it's unclear whether they can.

Applies to: Mindy Kaling (The Mindy Project), Jordana Spiro (The Mob Doctor), Stephen Amell (Arrow)

All three of these performers have done good work elsewhere on television, but this season, they're being asked to carry shows that their respective networks need to succeed. For Kaling and Amell, it's about stepping into the spotlight and providing more complicated roles than they've handled in their past television work. For Spiro, it's more about making the transition from comedy—where she did pretty well as the lead on My Boys—to drama.

Applies to: Lucy Punch (Ben and Kate), Allison Miller (Go On), Giancarlo Esposito (Revolution)

Every season, there are supporting players who get a lot of praise for breaking out in small doses. I've found that it's a little easier to do this in comedies, and both Lucy Punch and Allison Miller feel like good candidates to fill that void this season. Punch is the best part of the Ben and Kate pilot and Miller brings warmth to a character that isn't that intriguing on the page in Go On.

I mention Giancarlo Esposito here even though he's already turned in a near-legendary performance as an unforgettable character on Breaking Bad because his work on Revolution is really good. It's different, and certainly broader, but it's good. I'd love to watch a basic cable show with Esposito in the lead role.

Applies to: Britney Spears (The X Factor), Jonny Lee Miller (Elementary), Ryan Murphy (61 different shows), Greg Daniels (The Office)

These four individuals find themselves in hot seats of various temperatures this season. Britney (and Demi Lovato) are supposed to help The X Factor make a mark on popular culture in a way that its first season could not, which is a tough gig amid the singing competition overkill that's happening right now.

Jonny Lee Miller is tasked with carving out his own contemporary version of Sherlock Holmes even though lots of people (including Cumberbatch himself) adore Benedict Cumberbatch's take on the character and even more people are annoyed that Elementary decided to make Watson into a woman.

On the showrunner side of things, both Ryan Murphy and Greg Daniels have big challenges ahead of them this season. Murphy now has three shows that he wants to be greatly involved in, a choice that is almost guaranteed to end in disaster. I guess the good news is that all three of those shows (Glee, American Horror Story, and The New Normal) are each disasters already. Daniels is tasked with bringing this generation's most popular comedy to an end, even though it should have already ended two years ago and The Office has spent two or three seasons ruining any goodwill or affection we had for most of the characters. Tough gig.

Applies to: Fox, ABC

Slightly different cases here, but they both fit under this headline.

Fox will be fine. The network has American Idol to combat any of the fall's missteps (even though it's declining in ratings), and it should take care of business on Tuesdays with that great comedy block. But on the drama side, Fox doesn't have much room for error. What happens in the (very likely) possibility that The Mob Doctor falls on its face? What replaces it on the schedule? Fox doesn't really have anything. Plus, the early ratings for The X Factor haven't been positive, despite the big new judges (and, at least in the first few hours, a better show).

Despite the strength of Modern Family, Grey's Anatomy and Once Upon a Time, ABC finished in fourth place in the ratings last season. NBC won't have the Super Bowl in 2013, so ABC is guaranteed to slide back up to third, but its schedule is filled with shows that are only sort of popular: Revenge, Castle, Happy Endings, The Middle, etc. Dancing with the Stars is getting old and Grey's can't last forever. ABC needs a nice hit, especially on the drama side. If the network doesn't get that, the ratings issue might be more pronounced.

Applies to: NBC

This one isn't hard to figure out. I'd love to stop picking on NBC and I'd especially love if the network turned itself around. But based on what I've seen from the Peacock thus far this fall, it doesn't appear that many improvements are going to be made. None of their new fall shows are particularly great (though none of them are out-and-out awful, either), and the early ratings for The Voice suggest what we all already knew: People are kind of burned out on the singing competition thing.

Though I expect many of NBC's shows to stick around for a while—probably longer than they should—I also expect that none of them will be hits. It wouldn't surprise me if of the fall new shows, only Go On returned next season.

What stories do you expect to dominate this season, and which ones do you think might surprise us?

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Just over a week has passed since True Blood ended its fifth season, and I'm still reeling over everything that went down. Let's pool our info so we don't spend all winter biting our nails. Okay? I need your help.

Oh, but before we talk about Season 6,we have to watch this BONUS SCENE FROM THE SEASON 5 FINALE.

Okay. Okay. Deep breaths.

Nora knows about Warlo, so clearly he is going to be the "big bad" next season (or you know, fairy depression, or Alcide's dad's mortgage payments, or vampire post offices, because this show will play upon your expectations like a guttersnipe plays three-card monte: with misdirects and cheats).

Anyhoo, Warlo as a "big bad" may go up against Bill next season in competing for Sookie, or maybe he'll even work with Bill to obtain Sookie? Guys, Bill is evil right now, or so we assume, but is there a chance Lillith's powers could somehow suddenly desert him, leaving a humbled, naked man with no sense of ethical moorings? Or will he just stomp around being a giant blood-covered A-hole for another TWO YEARS? Because: Guys, rumor has it (and this is such an unfounded rumor, okay? Somebody just, like, said it to me at a party, because all I do is talk about True Blood at all times. This next thing is speculative to the point where TV.Com is like "Oh bitch please, stop lying!" and I assume full responsibility if I'm wrong: ) True Blood's secretly been approved for two more seasons, so we've got 20 percent of the entire series to look forward to, turned over into the capable hands of Mark Hudis, a man responsible for such feel-good favorites as Cybill, That 70's Show and Nurse Jackie.

Let's just take off the gloves and discuss the books for a moment. I used to give spoiler alerts before discussing the books, but now things have gone so far off the rails I really question whether I should. Suffice it to say, if you don't want to hear book discussion and presumably spoilers, scroll down to the line of asterisks. Everybody else, keep reading:

In the books, Sookie vampire-marries Eric and finds out the fairies were responsible for slaying her parents, not a vampire. But Warlo has been confirmed by Nora mentioning his name (and we know from the finale that Nora has never run into fairies before, so there goes any "Warlo is part fairy" theory I may or may not have been secretly considering), and Hudis may not be as familiar with the book series as Ball, who vocally loved them and kept the seasons more or less in line with the major arcs of the books (right up until the fifth season).

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Also, Sookie no longer has a choice for a love interest except for Eric, if Eric is even interested. If Hudis even wants a romance, it's either Sookie & Eric or conjure up a new character, because Alcide has had been glamorized into being repulsed by Sookie, Sam is all up in that sweet, possibly dead Luna, and Bill is an angry god who will be listening to Ani DiFranco and appearing naked all next season. And Hoyt is out of town. Have I missed anyone?

Jason, according to that bonus clip above, is in highly anti-vampire psycho killer mode, but I have a feeling he'll get snapped out of that very quickly, like, by the second episode of Season 6.

Tara and Pam are very psyched about a future date. AS AM I. Will their romance sustain MAYBE two seasons' worth of True Blood's manic sexual energy? I doubt it. No one gets out of this mess unscathed, and as Alan Ball himself said to TV Line, "You have to throw a monkey-wrench into [relationships on this show], because to have people be happy is not that exciting."

Looking at the clip, Jessica managed to keep Jason calm in the elevator. If anyone deserves a happy ending, it's these two. I predict we'll spend the next two episodes with them as our Sam and Diane, all, "Will he stop hating vampires?" and "Will she want to suck other guys' necks?" and "Did we erase a man's brain because we couldn't keep our genitals in line?" until she finally just turns Jason. I mean, is there a happy ending if you don't become a vampire? Shouldn't Sookie WANT to be a vampire, and shouldn't we all if the other option is wrinkles + a cold grave?!

Moving on, Andy Bellefleur having a passel of fairy-smelling infants is clearly significant. Will they attract the pedophile, burnt-up vampire who was left as a loose end in the Authority shakedown? Will they simply be vampire bait in the unsettled, synthesized blood-free Season 6? Will Andy be forced to stake vampire after vampire while trying to boil bottles on his stove a la Mr. Mom? Will an attack on her babies mean Murella is compelled to lead her fairy family into a fairy-vampire war? What would end faster, me blowing a bubble-gum bubble or a fairy vampire war, since the fairies are about as effective as cellophane blackout curtains?

Even less effective: the werewolves. There will be some tweaking V-fiends running around.

Also, what 'bout our dear inbred rapey friends in Hotshot? Will the were-panthers make a return to the screen?

Finally, Steve Newlin is one of the only inner-circle Authority members who survived. Will he try to avenge Russell? Will he pursue Jason, throwing his hat alongside Jessica's, the werepanthers', and any number of small-town tramps in the "We Want Jason Stackhouse" ring? This could be a whole spin-off series really, and all the time Ryan Kwanten looks more and more drawn, like if someone would just put a grain of rice or any simple carb on his tongue he would BURST INTO TEARS. Is there any worse hell than having to look like you're 23 for seven years? I don't know.

Guys, Season 6 is anyone's game. Ball and ergo the books are out the window. Hudis could try and carve out a new niche, make the characters his own, or try to reset by reverting to the classic love triangle dynamic that made so many of our knees weak in Season 1. What are your predictions for Season 6? More importantly, what would you WANT to happen?

Oh and here's Ball saying thanks and talking up last week's finale like it was some big deal. OKAY IT TOTALLY WAS!

ANSWER ALL MY QUESTIONS:

– Steve Newlin: Out for blood?

– How long 'til Jason snaps out of his concussive homicidal inclinations?

– Will Sookie have a romance in a future season or is she just now a cipher for loneliness and alienation?

– Why would Nora know about Warlo?

– Will the werewolves ever do anything except unemployment?

– What's happenin' in Hotshot these days?

– Is Bill going to be evil forever or can his situation be diffused?

– Jason and Jessica: together at last?

– BOOK PEOPLE: What character from the books do you wish would make an appearance?

– Tara and Pam: Together forever?

– Are baby quadruplets vampire bait? Will they continue aging rapidly?

– Take a shot in the dark: What will happen next season?

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