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The Voice S03E14: "The Battles Continue (Round 4)"

The Tuesday rounds always feel like an afterthought to the longer Monday-night rounds on The Voice. The continued reliance upon montages in place of battles because THE TEAMS ARE TOO DAMN BIG doesn't help.

This week, we missed out on Mycle Wastman versus Ben Taub, Adanna Duru versus Michele Brooks-Thompson, and Beat Frequency versus Laura Vivas. I was particularly disappointed by the decision not to show Beat Frequency's battle because I was anticipating what was sure to be an amazing trainwreck.

Instead, we got to see country singers Liz Davis and Nicole Johnson on country singer Blake Shelton's country-saturated team sing a country song by Blake's country-star wife, Miranda Lambert. I don't think it gets much more country (or dull) than that. Both contestants held their own. In the end, Blake went with Davis over Johnson due to her considerable experience.

Adam Levine had a similarly tough decision to make between Alessandra Guerico and Kayla Nevarez, who faced off on "Wide Awake" by Katy Perry. The formally trained Guerico struggled when Adam told her not to be so perfect and rigid. Kayla was pitchy. They pulled it together at showtime, though. Adam went with Kayla because he felt like Alessandra lacked confidence and she was visibly crushed until Christina swept in with a steal and a reference to her time on The Mickey Mouse Club. If you're playing the Christina Aguilera drinking game at home, feel free to take a sip.

In all seriousness, though, it was a good move for both Guerico and Team Christina. How did they not end up together in the first place?

And finally, Cee Lo Green paired country hopeful Emily Earle with cutie-pie MacKenzie Bourg. I just want to pinch his smiley dimples. AND AND AND according to his bio page over at The Voice he's a The Perks of Being a Wallflower fan, so, you know, we should be BFFs or something.

ANYWAY, Cee Lo set up both singers for the most awkward battle ever by giving them the Owl City tune "Good Time." Emily Earle immediately began to panic over leaving her comfort zone. MacKenzie Bourg struggled with figuring out what to do with his hands when Cee Lo took away his security blanket/ guitar. It was all good though. The smiley dimples prevailed.

Here's your round-up of the week's comings and goings!

Sticking Around:

Liz Davis (Team Blake)
Kayla Nevarez (Team Adam)
Mackenzie Bourg (Team Cee Lo)
Mycle Wastman (Team Cee Lo)
Michelle Brooks-Thompson (Team Adam)
Laura Vivas (Team Christina)

Going Home:

Nicole Johnson (Team Blake)
Ben Taub (Team Cee Lo)
Beat Frequency (Team Christina)
Adanna Duru (Team Adam)
Emily Earle (Team Cee Lo)

Steals:

Alessandra Guerico (Team Adam to Team Christina)

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The Voice S03E13: "The Battles Continue"

Night three of the battle rounds played out like the late-season episode of a scripted series that was plagued with questions in its early episodes—and by "early episodes" I mean pretty much the entire series. Whether or not The Voice meant to touch on the points I've been poking with a stick since the season premiere is debatable, but that doesn't make the attention to detail any less amusing.

Exhibit A: Battle Round Song Choices

My favorite moment of the entire night because featured my biggest pet peeve of the entire competition being addressed in a refreshingly frank manner—by a contestant, at least. Terisa Griffin pointedly asked Blake Shelton why he chose to make her compete against Julio Castillo on "Conga" by Gloria Estefan. She rationalized that "Conga" was a song closer to Castillo's comfort zone, and therefore the song was deliberately chosen to eliminate her from the competition. Blake was, of course, the portrait of incredulous innocence, and to be fair, we got plenty of footage of Castillo struggling with the song during rehearsals and voicing his own concerns about his ability to perform, but just to have a contestant SAY IT was utterly vindicating.

Do I think Terisa Griffin was set-up in this case? Not really. Do I think that other contestants have been set up for elimination in the past? Certainly. Last season's pairing of fierce lady-rocker Lindsey Pavao and acoustic-lovin' Bob Dylan-channelin' Lee Koch was hilariously blatant with Christina Aguilera assigning them a Nirvana song. Christina fell back on the old "leave the comfort zone" argument, which seems to be the failsafe justification whenever an artist on this show questions a song choice, but only certain artists ever seem pressed to leave their comfort zones. Judges' pets Juliet Simms and Raelynn were rarely, if ever, asked to sing anything outside of classic rock or country, respectively, genres which they both felt comfortable in and felt showcased their abilities the best. Those two made it rather far in last season's competition... in contrast to Naia Kete, who only wanted to sing a freaking reggae song, but found herself stuck with pop song after pop song in the name of "branching out."

Blake had no idea where Terisa got that idea and seemed a little insulted by the accusation (which, okay, is fair) but frankly, I think anyone who has watched The Voice for more than one season knows exactly where she got the idea.

Ultimately, Terisa Griffin lost her battle with Julio Castillo because Blake didn't think she worked as hard as he did. Luckily, Cee Lo was there to swoop in with a steal. Speaking of Cee Lo, that brings us to...

Exhibit B: Why Team Cee Lo?

County wannabes gravitate toward Team Blake because Blake Shelton is the country expert on The Voice. Divas and potential boyband members go to Christina Aguilera because that's her thing. "Serious" musicians vie for Adam Levine's favor because Adam is a "serious" musician.

The identity of Team Cee Lo is a little harder to pin down. Cee Lo Green dressed up like a peacock that one time during a concert, so he tends to appreciate fellow peacocks, but since he can't see contestants during their initial auditions, he must rely on his ears to determine their peacock potential. This leads to a bit of a mixed-bag team—Cee Lo has divas and he has hipster bespectacled coffeeshop lurkers. Cee Lo has people that I'm not entirely convinced can actually sing but just happen to put on a good show. It's a wildly diverse team that I can honestly say I'm always excited to see compete because there really is no way to know what we'll see from them on any given night.

So, that's awesome and to be honest, I wish the other judges would make an effort to avoid clinging so fiercely to their pet genres, but at the same time, the lack of a concrete identity on Team Cee Lo resulted to some recruiting difficulties earlier this season; it just seemed like artist after artist chose a different judge over Cee Lo if given the opportunity. Contestants who wanted to work with a mentor from a similar musical background found those needs met by one of the other three, OR, those practical contestants who thought further ahead and saw The Voice more like a networking opportunity than the be-all-end-all of their career, went to Adam or Blake, who both have a history of working with ex-team members after the show ends.

Apparently so does Cee Lo Green. He's just pickier about who he works with. Or maybe less obvious about it. Or something. Regardless, the camera sure went out of its way to document—with subtitles—the fact that after Cee Lo chose bearded wonder Nicholas David over Todd Kessler following their Hall and Oates battle, he pulled Kessler aside and told him to "Give me a call. We'll talk."

Well, okay then.

Exhibit C: Blake Shelton + Florence + The Machine

This one just amused me because Christina made such a big deal when Blake lost Caitlin Michele to Adam during his own recruitment slump earlier this season. Michele auditioned with a Florence + The Machine song and despite an impassioned speech to curry her favor, Michele chose to work with Adam rather than Blake because she didn't want "normal."

Already frustrated by the loss, Blake also had the misfortune of sitting next to Christina, who took the opportunity to point out that he didn't even know who Florence + The Machine was, which may or may not have been sarcasm, but honestly, would anyone be surprised if it wasn't?

As though to make a point, which also wouldn't be surprising, Blake had Lelia Broussard and Suzanna Choffel battle one another to "Dog Days are Over" by Florence + The Machine, complete with a quick monologue affirming how much he just loves Florence + The Machine. Way to tie up loose ends.

Suzanna Choffel won the round, by the way.

Rounding out the rest of our battles, on Team Christina Dez Duron and Paulina faced off and 16-year-old Paulina gushed that she grew up listening to Green Day. This sent the occupants of my home into a pre-mid-life-crisis-crisis when we did the math and realized that she may have grown up listening to Green Day but she definitely didn't grow up listening to GOOD Green Day even though she probably THINKS she did. CHILDREN, gather round and let me tell you about Billie Joe Armstrong and how 16 years ago he wouldn't have been caught dead on a show like The Voice.

Or at least that's what we old-timers like to think.

Dez Duron won that battle.

Team Adam featured Sam James and Benji battling it out to Bon Jovi. I love me some Bon Jovi. I love me some "You Give Love a Bad Name" too and their battle was the most energetic of the night. There was a lot of unresolved sexual tension on that stage, and more than one person in my living room wondered aloud if they were going to start making out. PASSION, MAN.

Adam's fellow judges all liked Benji, but he went with Sam James because Sam has his own style and even though Benji screamed really well (really!), when he wasn't screaming, he was kind of not sure what to do with himself.

Team Christina finished the night off with a diva battle: Joselyn Rivera and Sylvia Yacoub. I thought they both spent an inordinate amount of time trying to one-up each other, rather than actually calming down and just singing the freaking song already. Christina's indecision got us our first appearance of haggard, snippy Carson Daly who snapped at her to make a decision already after much hand-wringing and looking around the set as though someone else might tell her who to choose. I figured that we were in for a steal session since there were still ten minutes left in the hour, so there was no practical need for Daly to rush things, unless he was trying to condition serial-time-waster Xtina BEFORE her endless contemplation made its way to the live shows and forced us to miss the first few minutes of Revolution which would just be tragic. (On a side note, Revolution, I don't care about saving Danny anymore. I DON'T CARE.)

Christina went with Sylvia Yacoub and Teams Adam and Blake immediately buzzed in to steal Joselyn Rivera who, ultimately, went to Adam.

Here's a quick summary of the wins, losses, and steals for Monday:

Sticking Around:

Julio Castillo (Team Blake)
Dez Duron (Team Christina)
Sam James (Team Adam)
Nicholas David (Team Cee Lo)
Suzanna Choffel (Team Blake)
Sylvia Yacoub (Team Christina)

Going Home:

Paulina (Team Christina)
Benji (Team Adam)
Todd Kessler (Team Cee Lo)
Lelia Broussard (Team Blake)

Steals:

Terisa Griffin (Team Blake to Team Cee Lo)
Joselyn Rivera (Team Christina to Team Adam)

What'd you think of Monday's battles?

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The Voice S03E12: "The Battles Premiere, Part 2"

It's official: The teams are too freaking big. We saw the warning lights flash during blind auditions when entire performances were skimmed over, but I stopped short of condemning the newly expanded rosters and mind-blowing total of 64 contestants. I thought, "Let's wait and see, maybe it will be awesome."

Maybe it COULD have been awesome if we, you know, actually got to see all 64 singers perform. Maybe it would have gotten tedious, but hey, they earned their 15 minutes, right? Imagine: You auditioned, you had a great sob story to stir up emotion, and you were awesome enough to make the cut—even if you were a long shot to win the whole thing, you'd at least want what exposure you could get, right? Publicity, marketing, cultivating a fanbase that will follow you after The Voice—these are important things to consider as a musician hoping to go pro and frankly, I feel like there are some parties getting screwed over this season. All of a sudden The Voice is slightly less wonderful of an opportunity, and it all boils down to the giant teams... or at least the handling of the giant teams.

I was willing to overlook the blink-and-you'll-miss-them auditions because it was early in the game and I assumed that maybe those auditions just weren't that amazing or awful enough to be entertaining. I assumed that we would see those musicians later in competition and we would be able to try to understand what the judges saw in them. After all, even if their auditions were just on the better side of mediocre, they earned their spot in the limelight.

There is no excuse for not showing all of the battles. There is CERTAINLY no excuse for not showing a "favorite" musician's battle. On Team Blake, Ozzy/Meatloaf lookalike Rudy Parris beat Charlie Rey last night, but I can't tell you why he was deemed better or what they sang or even who Charlie Rey is. Not cool, NBC. If you couldn't handle having 64 contestants this season without, pardon me, half-assing the competition, then there just shouldn't be 64 people competing. What's the point of having 16 people on each team if we're only going to pay attention to 12 of them?

Of the battles we DID see, Cody Belew faced off against Domo for a spot on Team Cee Lo. Cee Lo assigned them "Telephone," which was so far out of Belew's comfort zone that, I admit, I thought Domo was a shoo-in. Cee Lo loves him the ladies. And I love that Cody totally called him on it during rehearsals and blatantly asked how he could hope to compete with Domo's curves. Why so awesome, Cody?

Maybe Cee Lo appreciated Cody's gutsiness because his response to both Cody and Domo's actual duet was lukewarm. He claimed that neither singer gave him what he really wanted during the performance, so he based his decision purely on preference. It was Cody Belew FTW.

On Team Christina, it was Aquile versus Nathalie Hernandez on "You Give Me Something." The Official Rehearsal Drama for their segment revolved around Aquile flubbing words and Nathalie, at age 15, not having experienced enough real-life heartbreak to really "feel" the song. I don't know. Mentor Christina likes to pretend that pop is deep. Billie Joe Armstrong compared Nathalie to Norah Jones, which was actually a pretty good comparison. She held her own but Aquile just seemed to rock the stage presence a little better, and Nathalie went home.

Team Adam wrapped up the night, pairing Melanie Martinez with Caitlin Michele for a phenomenal cover of Ellie Goulding's "Lights." Their epic performance came in spite of a disastrous final rehearsal and neither Cee Lo, Blake, nor Christina tried to help Adam make his elimination. Adam accused them of attempting to curry favor with his team members in anticipation of their impending steals and... yeah, that's actually exactly what happened. Adam went with Melanie and Caitlin joined Team Cee Lo. I'm okay with that.

Anyway, here's where we are after the first week of battles:

Caitlin Michele (Team Adam to Team Cee Lo) Amanda Brown (Team Cee Lo to Team Adam) Nathalie Hernandez (Team Christina) Collin McLoughlin (Team Adam to Team Blake) Casey Muessigmann (Team Blake)

What did you think of this week's eliminations and acquisitions? What about the battles we didn't see?

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Hey guys, have you heard about this show called The Voice that NBC runs for 90 percent of its airtime? Go ahead, turn on NBC right now, I bet it's on.

Well, good news! You can now fast-forward to 2013 and you'll still be able to watch The Voice ALL THE TIME because NBC just renewed it for two more cycles! That's right, spinning chairs and Christina Aguilera's jugs (or Shakira's hips) will still be staring you in the face a year from now, as NBC has requested editions for next spring and fall.

The spring 2013 cycle was pretty much a given, as NBC announced lat week that Usher and Shakira would replace Cee Lo Green and Aguilera and Aguilera's boobs in the next cycle as Green tries to become a sitcom star and Aguilera and her boobs go on tour. And when you think about it, the fall 2013 cycle was pretty much a given considering how in love NBC is with the show.

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The Voice S03E04 and S03E05: "Blind Auditions, Part 4" and "Blind Auditions, Part 5"

Team Xtina returned to form this week, saving most of her chair-turns for would-be pop-stars and potential boyband candidates. Meanwhile, Team Blake tried to diversify, Team Adam snagged some NICE pipes, and Team Cee Lo realized that halfway through Blind Auditions, his roster was looking a little empty.

The week belonged to Cee Lo Green and Adam Levine, with Cee Lo filling out his ranks with a flurry of new faces. Musicians joining Team Cee Lo included professionally trained dancer-turned-musician Avery Wilson with a phenomenal cover of "Without You," country sweetheart Emily Earle, Alaskan YouTube sensation JR Aquino, and soulful Mycle Wastman.

Adam added six new members to his team, filling 11 of his 16 spots by week's end. Among those joining Team Adam are Collin McLoughlin, whose flawless "Wild World" cover was deemed "too mellow" for Christina's taste, despite catching the attention of her three rival judges. Racecar driver Benji turned in a raspy and awesome "Knockin' on Heaven's Door Cover," complementing teammate Melanie Martinez's equally raspy cover of "Toxic" nicely.

Christina held out for that signature Christina-esque sound and only added three contestants to her roster: husband-and-wife duet Beat Frequency, another YouTuber, Paulina, and 17-year-old Joselyn Rivera, whose backstory highlighted a doctor's prescription for "music" as the treatment that overcame numerous childhood health issues.

It was Rivera's audition that led to a tense moment on the judge's panel as Team Xtina and Team Blake both vied for Joselyn's favor and Shelton allegedly referred to Christina as an "abusive" coach. Okay, not allegedly. I was watching. He said it. I just don't think he meant it with quite the amount of seriousness with which it was taken. Still, the outburst received disapproval from both Christina and Adam.

It was a rough week for Team Blake, snagging only two team members across both nights of auditions. It wasn't for lack of trying, though. Shelton even pointed out that his chair-turn-to-newbie ratio was kind of appalling. Both of Shelton's new recruits—Liz Davis and Kelly Capra—boast country backgrounds and his team as a whole still overwhelmingly reflects the genre, but Blake hit his button for quite a few acts that broke the Nashville mold. Those contestants, such as Joselyn Rivera, Mycle Wastman, Brian Scartocci, and Melanie Martinez, just happened to choose other judges.

Even I was getting a little frustrated. Don't get me wrong, Mr. Shelton and I have had our scruples in the past (see: Raelynn), but when given a choice between Christina or Blake, I can't for the life of me fathom why anyone who is serious about her career would ditch the judge who actually continues to help his mentees after the camera stops rolling for the sake of working with one who doesn't, just because she LOVED "Genie in a Bottle" when he was nine. Think about your choices, people! Make smart moves!

Though to be fair, I can understand how the whole "I want to win with a country singer" philosophy could turn off a lot of non-country talent from teaming up with the country-flavored judge. It's tough, and I think Cee Lo faced a similar problem on a smaller scale going into this week, indulging too much in the on-screen "character" at the risk of alienating and repelling possible team members. Cee Lo likes unconventional voices, sexy women, and soul. Despite being an accomplished musician and songwriter in his own right, his professionalism and drive isn't always projected as much on The Voice as the idea that Cee Lo Green is this wacky mastermind who lounges around in silk pajamas while fawning over his exotic pets. If you are a "serious" musician, I can see the turn-off, as unfounded as it might be.

Similarly, Blake has, over the past seasons, cultivated this persona of a good ol' boy from the country who loves sweet girls and family acts and traditional styles and that's fine, but it definitely limits his appeal to a very narrow demographic of talent. It doesn't help when he occasionally admits to being unfamiliar with musical styles that deviate from his comfort zone, like reggae or hip-hop. I admire the honesty, but it doesn't do much to change the perception that Blake is the country judge, he only knows how to coach country singers, and he only WANTS to coach country singers—even if that assumption is false.

Better luck next week, bro.

QUESTIONS:

– What are your thoughts on the state of the competition now that Week 2 has drawn to a close?

– Did anyone else think it was kind of a hilariously misguided move for rejected contestant Cupid to audition with his one-time-hit "Cupid Shuffle" when he claimed to want to show the judges that he was more flexible than that?

– Did you catch the blink-and-you'll-miss-it PURRFECT sighting?

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YOUR DAILY DOSE OF THE VOICE NEWS

... Okay, this is actually kind of big news for the show we seem forced to talk about daily. Now that NBC is churning out two editions of The Voice each season, one fall and one spring, it's inevitable that the schedules of its judges will get in the way. When The Voice returns in the winter, it will do so without Christina Aguilera and Cee Lo Green. Aguilera will be touring the world in support of her upcoming album Lotus, and Cee Lo will be busy developing a new comedy with NBC and petting his cat. Taking their place will be another soulful-dude-and-hottie pairing. R&B; singer Usher and Latina spitfire Shakira will step in as judges while Christina and Cee Lo are away. [TV Line]

BUSINESS TIME

... ABC Family has ordered three pilots: One-hour drama Terminales, based on a Mexican series, will follow a young woman diagnosed with a terminal illness; Phys Ed is a half-hour comedy about a jock who returns to coach at his high school alma mater; and Continuing Fred is also a half-hour comedy centering on a woman who starts teaching at a local elementary school. ABC Family is pumping out more pilots than the Southwest Airlines training facility. [ABC Family via press release]

... It is written in stone that young adult novels shall be adapted into television series by The CW, so here comes Embrace. Embrace follows a teen chick who finds out that she's half angel and an important piece in the war between good and bad angels. Yes, there are two hunky angel boys to keep her company, too. The project is in development and looking at next season. [Deadline Hollywood]

... Chronicle writer Max Landis and Homeland producer Howard Gordon have sold Vigilante to Fox. The drama is about a 20-year-old girl who creates a fictional vigilante persona to fight crime and the crooked cops who sent her cop dad packing. I'm guessing there are some details missing because that doesn't make a lot of sense to me. [THR]

... Comedian Jim Gaffigan is working with CBS on a sitcom based loosely on his life. The series, which has a put pilot commitment, will center on a man who lives in a tiny New York apartment with his wife and five kids. Hey comedians, your lives isn't as exciting as you think they are! Stop making shows about them! [Deadline Hollywood]

... Cougar Town creator Bill Lawrence is developing Ali In Wonderland at NBC. The comedy is based on the book of the same name by Ali Wentworth, a memoir of Wentworth's move to Washington, D.C. because her husband got a high-powered job. [Deadline Hollywood]

... ABC is adapting the 2006 British comedy Pulling, about a trio of 30-something women. This is the second time ABC has tried to adapt the series, but this time, the original producers of the British series will be much more heavily involved. [Deadline Hollywood]

... Sony Pictures Animation is developing a feature film based on the '80s show Manimal. Seriously. The campy Manimal featured a dude who turned into a panther and was AWESOME. You all can provide your own jokes in the comments. [THR]

... Syfy has renewed Haunted Collector for a third season, which is great news because I have an old sweater that's haunted by the ghost of Don Rickles. What's that you say? Don Rickles is still alive? Oh. I guess Don Rickles is sitting on my couch, then. That makes more sense. [Syfy via press release]

CASTING NEWS

... Laura Prepon is joining the Netflix original Orange is the New Black. The dramedy follows a woman thrown in prison for her connection to her ex-girlfriend, who happens to be a drug dealer. Prepon will play the ex. Prepon was last seen (metaphorically, because no one watched it) in Are You There, Chelsea? [TV Line]

SAD NEWS

... General Hospital actor John Ingle has passed away at the age of 84. Ingle had played the role of Edward Quartermaine since 1992. [People]

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The Voice S03E02 & S03E03: "Blind Auditions Night 2" and "Blind Auditions Night 3"

Mackenzie Bourg

It's over. It's finally over. The Voice's three-day marathon of blind auditions drew to a close last night, and while I've had a grand old time lamenting and lampooning NBC's decision to pit an extra night of The Voice against the Season 2 premiere of Fox's The X Factor, it looks like the move was a worthwhile one, with The Voice eking out a small victory over it's competitor in the ratings. Huzzah. Now don't ever do that to me again.

I also actually rather like the blind auditions. I know that it seems like they drag on forever and the fact that after three days of auditions, Team Xtina—which currently boasts the biggest roster—still has nine open spots, doesn't do much to dispel that feeling. However, the blind auditions are the only part of this show that, to me, truly embody what The Voice is supposed to be about. The judges don't know what their potential mentees look like when those potential mentees first take the stage and the voice truly is the only thing that matters. Once the teams are finalized and the formal competition is underway, The Voice devolves into standard talent-show fare. It's telling that within a few weeks of the live shows, all of the distinctively unique talent tends to be headed home. The big draw of The Voice is that looks don't matter, but the truth is, looks don't matter until the judges actually know what everyone looks like.

Then, of course, there are the genre biases. Blake came right out and said he'd like to take a country singer to the finals this season. Christina never comes right out and says it, but everything in her coaching points to a preference for pop powerhouses like herself. Adam likes "serious musicians," and Cee Lo—well, Cee Lo always has the fun team, but more often than not votes with his downstairs brain instead of his upstairs one. I'm hoping this season's addition of "The Steal" will shake up this tired old format a little bit.

So basically, the blind auditions are the only segment of The Voice that isn't completely and utterly predictable (except for when it comes to which coach the more country fried hopefuls want to work with). Don't blow through them in one gulp just to spite your trashy cousin on that other network, NBC.

Monday's premiere filled two spots on each judge's massive 16-spot roster. Here's how the rest of the week wrapped up.

Adam put on his picky pants and didn't recruit anyone on Tuesday, which shocked no one because that seems to be his M.O. and luckily, we're still early enough in the auditions that he can afford to do so. He got back in the game on Wednesday, snagging skinny white-boy reggae singer Samuel Mouton and self-proclaimed hippie chick Nicole Nelson after solid renditions of "Redemption Song" and "Hallelujah," respectively. He also snagged Loren Allred who, oddly, didn't get a featured performance or a long, drawn-out introduction. According to her bio at The Voice's website, she hails from a wedding band. She seems wholesome.

Christina made off with two potential pop-stars on Tuesday: Adriana Louise, whose family was held hostage by gangsters when she was a kid, and Aquile, whose big claim to fame (according to his intro) was getting his jaw wired shut after he got punched in the face that one time. On Wednesday, she picked up Nigerian-born Nelly's Echo, who fled to the United States when he was 15 and ended up in Baltimore. I dug his "Ain't No Sunshine" cover. Joining Loren Allred in victorious obscurity, Lisa Scinta and MarissaAnn were recruited to Team Xtina even though someone deemed them unworthy of being properly introduced to us. Why did we get in-depth biographies of the reject pile and a mere 30 seconds of the people who will actually compete on this show?

Team Blake followed script, then threw the script out the window, picking up cowboy college student Casey Mussigmann, mother/daughter country duo 2 Steel Girls, and then mariachi singer Julio Castillo. Mussigmann claimed that the fact that his last name is pronounced "music-man" was a sign that he should pursue a music career. Well, my last name is pronounced "sleaze-man" and I'm not about to go rob a bank. Then again, a disproportionate number of my cousins have rocked the house arrest ankle bling in the past, so maybe his reasoning isn't complete insanity. Not to mention, he actually is a pretty decent singer.

Team Cee Lo has been having a tough time recruiting to his team this season, picking up only one artist each night during Tuesday and Wednesday's auditions. Mackenzie Bourg performed a decent cover of "Pumped Up Kicks," though he only managed to get Cee Lo to turn his chair. My favorite part was when Christina said that "Pumped Up Kicks" is a fun song and Cee Lo looked at her like she was a moron. Awesome song with a deceptively fun beat? Sure, but there's a reason the lyrics get a radio edit, Christina.

Domo

And finally, ladies and gentleman, I think Cee Lo may have found his Erin Martin for this season in Domo. Unlike Erin, Domo can actually sing quite well, but her personality is grating and her claim to being the "Lady Gaga of China" sounded a little over-generous. Again, Cee Lo's was the only chair to turn for her cover of "Don't Cha" (which he himself penned), and once he saw that she was a total babe, it was all eye-sex and unresolved sexual tension for the rest of the audition. She briefly hijacked the stage to lead the audience in a DO-MA, DO-MA chant that only she seemed particularly excited about. The looks on the judges' faces were priceless. Christina's "You're going to have your hands full with her," sounded like a thinly veiled, "HAHAHA NOW YOU'RE STUCK WITH HER." As Cal Hockley would sarcastically say, "I hope you enjoy your time together."

The Voice returns on Monday with more blind auditions. Who do you think appears to be building the strongest team? Do you want to punch Domo in the face? Who do you think Mackenzie Bourg (pictured at the top of this page) looks like: Harry Potter or Justin Bieber?

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