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As you might be aware, we ALL have a thing for television; specifically when it makes us laugh or cringe in horror. Thankfully, the next three days' programming offers both, plus a splash of strange. So, grab your leopard-print Snuggie (I've already got mine on), and enjoy this weekend's TV lineup.

What to watch on Friday, October 12...

8pm, Animal Planet
Monsters Inside Me
Some of the most feared monsters on the planet can actually be found inside of us. I know, gross. But, I did promise cringe-inducing entertainment. In "Something's Eating My Son Inside Out," a powerful, nasty parasite pushes a pregnant model toward suicide. (!) Elsewhere, a boy on summer vacation contracts a flesh-eating disease. And finally, a "hidden" killer threatens to suffocate a college student. Okay, who's hiding under the couch?

9pm, CBS
CSI: NY
In "2,918 Miles," Mac and Jo find evidence at a crime scene on the Brooklyn Bridge that forces them to travel approximately 2,918 miles in search of a missing teenage girl. Can you guess where they'll be headed? Hint: It's a city with a famous red bridge.

9pm, Fox
Grimm
In "The Bottle Imp," Hank and Nick take on a gruesome (when isn't it gruesome?) murder case, leading them to what looks like a bitter custody battle (but of course there's more to it than that). Meanwhile at the spice shop, Monroe tries to help out by filling in for Rosalee, but realizes it isn't as easy as he'd hoped it would be.

9pm, Fox
Fringe
Tonight's episode features "people devoted to recording human history," and we're all in favor of all shows that feature "people devoted to recording human history," right? In "The Recordist," Walter, Olivia, Peter, Astrid, and Etta find themselves in a forest populated by a strange group of people who call themselves recordists with the ability to—you guessed it—record human history. Sounds cool! While there, Walter and Olivia somehow get infected with a mysterious disease. Not so cool.

SEASON FINALE 10pm, Cinemax
Strike Back
In "Greatness Is Built on the Fight," Scott questions Bryant about her role in Knox's plan. Meanwhile, Stonebridge is caught up with bad thoughts... like some good ol' fashioned revenge (dun, dun, dun!!!).

LATE-NITE HIGHLIGHTS:
Miley Cyrus and Rove McManus on The Tonight Show With Jay Leno, 11:35 p.m., NBC
John Goodman on Late Night With David Letterman, 11:35 a.m., CBS
Salma Hayek Pinault, Andrew Lincoln, and Peter Gabriel on Late Night With Jimmy Fallon, 12:37 a.m., CBS
Dennis Quaid and Ellie Kemper on The Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson, 12:37 a.m., CBS

What to watch on Saturday, October 13...

9:30am, Cartoon
Star Wars: The Clone Wars
For you early birds Star Wars nerds, may I suggest a cartoon? I stopped watching cartoons when I hit 18, but The Clone Wars isn't "just a kids show." Or, at least that's what most of my geek-friends tell me. Here's the official word on this weekend's episode, "Front Runners": "Supervised by Ahsoka, the Onderon rebels carry out a series of strikes throughout the city, and the Separatist-aligned king must deal with the growing rebellion." .

SEASON 2 PREMIERE 8pm, Animal Planet
Too Cute!
Have you been watching Animal Planet's Too Cute series? If so, who do you think will be the cutest in tonight's episode, "Fluffy Puppies & Baby Goats?" I vote fluffy goats! Plus we also meet a young German shepherd and a pair of twin French bulldog pups. Too cute!

9pm, BBC America
Bedlam
If there's one thing we've learned about Bedlam Heights, it's that no one escapes the ghosties. In tonight's "Pool of Tears," Ellie and Max try to save a young woman who's been thrown in the pool. Meanwhile, Dan gets closer to finding "mystery blogger." May I suggest tracking down his IP address? That's how I would find him.

11:30pm, NBC
Saturday Night Live
Up All Night's Christina Applegate is this weekend's host—for the first time since the early '90s—and I'm hoping she'll bring with her some old-school flavor. Indie-pop band Passion Pit, a band that's best-known for their sultry-electronic grooves, is the musical guest.

What to watch on Sunday, October 14...

8pm, ABC
Once Upon a Time
In "Lady of the Lake," Emma and Mary Margaret attempt to find a portal that would bring them back to Storybrooke, but a dark force threatens their safety. Meanwhile on the eve of meeting Prince Charming's mother, King George poisons Snow White, and the only remedy lies within the waters of... the Lady of the Lake! Episode titles can be so helpful sometimes.

SEASON 3 PREMIERE 9pm, AMC
The Walking Dead
The zombie apocalypse starts up again with The Walking Dead's Season 3 premiere, "Seed," in which the world grows more dangerous for Rick and the others as they continue to wander in circles looking for some shelter. Also, Lori's pregnancy becomes a concern. My concern is, will they find a safe place to hide out that's less boring than that dang farm? Like, say, the prison we saw at the end of last season?

9pm, Showtime
Dexter
In tonight's "Buck The System" Dexter tries to bring Deb on board with his new target and we'll get to meet Hannah McKay, played by Chuck's Yvonne Strahovski.

10pm, Showtime
Homeland
Here comes another hour of intense, nail-biting drama, but it's so worth it. In tonight's "State of Independence," Carrie still has some major challenges after she returns home from Beirut. Meanwhile, Brody is assigned a desperate mission from Nazir.

10pm, ABC
666 Park Avenue
In "The Dead Don't Stay Dead" Gavin begins to groom Henry for a possible career change. Meanwhile, a journalist discovers that whatever she writes becomes the truth and Olivia shares a painful secret with Jane about her daughter.

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YOUR DAILY DOSE OF THE VOICE NEWS

... Okay, this is actually kind of big news for the show we seem forced to talk about daily. Now that NBC is churning out two editions of The Voice each season, one fall and one spring, it's inevitable that the schedules of its judges will get in the way. When The Voice returns in the winter, it will do so without Christina Aguilera and Cee Lo Green. Aguilera will be touring the world in support of her upcoming album Lotus, and Cee Lo will be busy developing a new comedy with NBC and petting his cat. Taking their place will be another soulful-dude-and-hottie pairing. R&B; singer Usher and Latina spitfire Shakira will step in as judges while Christina and Cee Lo are away. [TV Line]

BUSINESS TIME

... ABC Family has ordered three pilots: One-hour drama Terminales, based on a Mexican series, will follow a young woman diagnosed with a terminal illness; Phys Ed is a half-hour comedy about a jock who returns to coach at his high school alma mater; and Continuing Fred is also a half-hour comedy centering on a woman who starts teaching at a local elementary school. ABC Family is pumping out more pilots than the Southwest Airlines training facility. [ABC Family via press release]

... It is written in stone that young adult novels shall be adapted into television series by The CW, so here comes Embrace. Embrace follows a teen chick who finds out that she's half angel and an important piece in the war between good and bad angels. Yes, there are two hunky angel boys to keep her company, too. The project is in development and looking at next season. [Deadline Hollywood]

... Chronicle writer Max Landis and Homeland producer Howard Gordon have sold Vigilante to Fox. The drama is about a 20-year-old girl who creates a fictional vigilante persona to fight crime and the crooked cops who sent her cop dad packing. I'm guessing there are some details missing because that doesn't make a lot of sense to me. [THR]

... Comedian Jim Gaffigan is working with CBS on a sitcom based loosely on his life. The series, which has a put pilot commitment, will center on a man who lives in a tiny New York apartment with his wife and five kids. Hey comedians, your lives isn't as exciting as you think they are! Stop making shows about them! [Deadline Hollywood]

... Cougar Town creator Bill Lawrence is developing Ali In Wonderland at NBC. The comedy is based on the book of the same name by Ali Wentworth, a memoir of Wentworth's move to Washington, D.C. because her husband got a high-powered job. [Deadline Hollywood]

... ABC is adapting the 2006 British comedy Pulling, about a trio of 30-something women. This is the second time ABC has tried to adapt the series, but this time, the original producers of the British series will be much more heavily involved. [Deadline Hollywood]

... Sony Pictures Animation is developing a feature film based on the '80s show Manimal. Seriously. The campy Manimal featured a dude who turned into a panther and was AWESOME. You all can provide your own jokes in the comments. [THR]

... Syfy has renewed Haunted Collector for a third season, which is great news because I have an old sweater that's haunted by the ghost of Don Rickles. What's that you say? Don Rickles is still alive? Oh. I guess Don Rickles is sitting on my couch, then. That makes more sense. [Syfy via press release]

CASTING NEWS

... Laura Prepon is joining the Netflix original Orange is the New Black. The dramedy follows a woman thrown in prison for her connection to her ex-girlfriend, who happens to be a drug dealer. Prepon will play the ex. Prepon was last seen (metaphorically, because no one watched it) in Are You There, Chelsea? [TV Line]

SAD NEWS

... General Hospital actor John Ingle has passed away at the age of 84. Ingle had played the role of Edward Quartermaine since 1992. [People]

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