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As you might be aware, we ALL have a thing for television; specifically when it makes us laugh or cringe in horror. Thankfully, the next three days' programming offers both, plus a splash of strange. So, grab your leopard-print Snuggie (I've already got mine on), and enjoy this weekend's TV lineup.

What to watch on Friday, October 12...

8pm, Animal Planet
Monsters Inside Me
Some of the most feared monsters on the planet can actually be found inside of us. I know, gross. But, I did promise cringe-inducing entertainment. In "Something's Eating My Son Inside Out," a powerful, nasty parasite pushes a pregnant model toward suicide. (!) Elsewhere, a boy on summer vacation contracts a flesh-eating disease. And finally, a "hidden" killer threatens to suffocate a college student. Okay, who's hiding under the couch?

9pm, CBS
CSI: NY
In "2,918 Miles," Mac and Jo find evidence at a crime scene on the Brooklyn Bridge that forces them to travel approximately 2,918 miles in search of a missing teenage girl. Can you guess where they'll be headed? Hint: It's a city with a famous red bridge.

9pm, Fox
Grimm
In "The Bottle Imp," Hank and Nick take on a gruesome (when isn't it gruesome?) murder case, leading them to what looks like a bitter custody battle (but of course there's more to it than that). Meanwhile at the spice shop, Monroe tries to help out by filling in for Rosalee, but realizes it isn't as easy as he'd hoped it would be.

9pm, Fox
Fringe
Tonight's episode features "people devoted to recording human history," and we're all in favor of all shows that feature "people devoted to recording human history," right? In "The Recordist," Walter, Olivia, Peter, Astrid, and Etta find themselves in a forest populated by a strange group of people who call themselves recordists with the ability to—you guessed it—record human history. Sounds cool! While there, Walter and Olivia somehow get infected with a mysterious disease. Not so cool.

SEASON FINALE 10pm, Cinemax
Strike Back
In "Greatness Is Built on the Fight," Scott questions Bryant about her role in Knox's plan. Meanwhile, Stonebridge is caught up with bad thoughts... like some good ol' fashioned revenge (dun, dun, dun!!!).

LATE-NITE HIGHLIGHTS:
Miley Cyrus and Rove McManus on The Tonight Show With Jay Leno, 11:35 p.m., NBC
John Goodman on Late Night With David Letterman, 11:35 a.m., CBS
Salma Hayek Pinault, Andrew Lincoln, and Peter Gabriel on Late Night With Jimmy Fallon, 12:37 a.m., CBS
Dennis Quaid and Ellie Kemper on The Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson, 12:37 a.m., CBS

What to watch on Saturday, October 13...

9:30am, Cartoon
Star Wars: The Clone Wars
For you early birds Star Wars nerds, may I suggest a cartoon? I stopped watching cartoons when I hit 18, but The Clone Wars isn't "just a kids show." Or, at least that's what most of my geek-friends tell me. Here's the official word on this weekend's episode, "Front Runners": "Supervised by Ahsoka, the Onderon rebels carry out a series of strikes throughout the city, and the Separatist-aligned king must deal with the growing rebellion." .

SEASON 2 PREMIERE 8pm, Animal Planet
Too Cute!
Have you been watching Animal Planet's Too Cute series? If so, who do you think will be the cutest in tonight's episode, "Fluffy Puppies & Baby Goats?" I vote fluffy goats! Plus we also meet a young German shepherd and a pair of twin French bulldog pups. Too cute!

9pm, BBC America
Bedlam
If there's one thing we've learned about Bedlam Heights, it's that no one escapes the ghosties. In tonight's "Pool of Tears," Ellie and Max try to save a young woman who's been thrown in the pool. Meanwhile, Dan gets closer to finding "mystery blogger." May I suggest tracking down his IP address? That's how I would find him.

11:30pm, NBC
Saturday Night Live
Up All Night's Christina Applegate is this weekend's host—for the first time since the early '90s—and I'm hoping she'll bring with her some old-school flavor. Indie-pop band Passion Pit, a band that's best-known for their sultry-electronic grooves, is the musical guest.

What to watch on Sunday, October 14...

8pm, ABC
Once Upon a Time
In "Lady of the Lake," Emma and Mary Margaret attempt to find a portal that would bring them back to Storybrooke, but a dark force threatens their safety. Meanwhile on the eve of meeting Prince Charming's mother, King George poisons Snow White, and the only remedy lies within the waters of... the Lady of the Lake! Episode titles can be so helpful sometimes.

SEASON 3 PREMIERE 9pm, AMC
The Walking Dead
The zombie apocalypse starts up again with The Walking Dead's Season 3 premiere, "Seed," in which the world grows more dangerous for Rick and the others as they continue to wander in circles looking for some shelter. Also, Lori's pregnancy becomes a concern. My concern is, will they find a safe place to hide out that's less boring than that dang farm? Like, say, the prison we saw at the end of last season?

9pm, Showtime
Dexter
In tonight's "Buck The System" Dexter tries to bring Deb on board with his new target and we'll get to meet Hannah McKay, played by Chuck's Yvonne Strahovski.

10pm, Showtime
Homeland
Here comes another hour of intense, nail-biting drama, but it's so worth it. In tonight's "State of Independence," Carrie still has some major challenges after she returns home from Beirut. Meanwhile, Brody is assigned a desperate mission from Nazir.

10pm, ABC
666 Park Avenue
In "The Dead Don't Stay Dead" Gavin begins to groom Henry for a possible career change. Meanwhile, a journalist discovers that whatever she writes becomes the truth and Olivia shares a painful secret with Jane about her daughter.

View the original article here

What to watch on Friday, October 5...

Get excited, human beings: Not only is it Friday, but this weekend's TV offerings are excellent. Let's do this:

8pm, CBS
CSI: NY
In "Where There's Smoke...," Numb3ers alum Rob Morrow returns as arsonist Leonard Brooks, and something tells me the team is not going to be happy to see him.

9pm, Fox
Fringe
In "In Absentia," the Fringe Division gang goes to Walter's lab looking for information that could help their current rebellion against the Observers' reign of terror.

9pm, NBC
Grimm
In "Over My Dead Body," Monroe's old flame Angelina comes to town with some bad news. Elsewhere, Nick asks Hank for some help in keeping Monroe safe while Captain Renard receives a visit from a former acquaintance. Ooh, who could it be?

10pm, Syfy
Haven
In "The Farmer," Audrey and Nathan encounter a bizarre series of deaths involving missing vital organs. Wait, wait...I think I already know who did it. I bet it's a guy who's a farmer! Also: Duke must confront the fate his dad warned him about, which has something to do with becoming Haven's curse killer.

PLUS NEW EPISODES OF...
America's Next Top Model, 8 p.m., The CW
CSI: NY, 8 p.m., CBS
Shark Tank, 8 p.m., ABC
WWE Friday Night Smackdown!, 8pm, Syfy
America's Most Wanted, 9 p.m., Lifetime
Bering Sea Gold: Under the Ice, 9 p.m., Discovery
Boss, 9 p.m., Starz
Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders: Making the Team,9 p.m., CMT
Flea Market Flip, 9 p.m., TLC
Fringe, 9 p.m., Fox
Ghost Adventures, 9 p.m., Travel
Grimm, 9 p.m., NBC
Made in Jersey, 9 p.m., CBS
Primetime: What Would You Do?, 9 p.m., ABC
Say Yes to the Dress: Atlanta, 9pm, TLC
The Ultimate Fighter, 10 p.m., FX
MLB Baseball, LIVE 6 p.m. - 9:30 p.m., TBS
20/20, 10 p.m., ABC
Blue Bloods, 10 p.m., CBS
Cheer, 10 p.m., CMT
Dateline NBC, 10 p.m., NBC
Deadly Women, 10 p.m., Investigation Discovery
Eden Eats, SEASON FINALE 10 p.m., Cooking
Fashion Police, 10 p.m., E!
Haven, 10 p.m., Syfy
House Hunters, 10 p.m., HGTV
Secret Princes, 10 p.m., TLC
Strike Back, 10 p.m., Cinemax
The Dead Flies Revisited, 10 p.m., Travel
Yukon Men, 10 p.m., Discovery
House Hunters International, 10:30 p.m., HGTV

LATE-NITE PICKS:
Colin Farrell and musical guest The Hives on The Tonight Show With Jay Leno, 11:35 p.m., NBC
Billy Crystal and musical guest The Wallflowers on Late Night With David Letterman, 11:35 a.m., CBS
Jerry Trainor and TV host Katie Couric on Late Night With Jimmy Fallon, 12:37 a.m., CBS
Ginnifer Goodwin and Dr. Sanjay Gupta on The Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson, 12:37 a.m., CBS

What to watch on Saturday, October 6...

ONLINE-PAY-PER-VIEW EVENT, 8pm
O'Reilly vs. Stewart 2012
Okay, technically this isn't airing on TV and you have to pay five bucks to see it, but we thought you should know about it regardless: This weekend, Fox News host Bill O'Reilly and Daily Show host Jon Stewart will go head-to-head in a 90-minute debate entitled "The Rumble in the Air-Conditioned Auditorium." Check out the official website for more info.

SEASON 38 PREMIERE 8pm, PBS
Austin City Limits: Radiohead
I'm doing mental cartwheels while I'm typing this one out: The very-awesome PBS television series Austin City Limits is kicking off its brand-new season with a full-hour set by Radiohead. Filmed at The Moody Theater in Texas, the episode will be the iconic British band's debut appearance; the performance will likely include songs from their last three albums (The King of Limbs, In Rainbows, and Hail to the Thief) as well as classics from Kid A and OK Computer. Can I let you in on a secret? I'm obsessed with perfecting the "Lotus Flower" dance, I just need better shoes.

SEASON 2 PREMIERE, 9pm, BBC America
Bedlam
Whoa, this show set in a mental-asylum-cum-haunted-apartment-complex looks intense—just check out the promo photo above. Season 2 begins with a young woman who can see ghosts arriving at Bedlam Heights to search for Jed. I don't know who Jed is, but this show is set in a mental-asylum-cum-haunted-apartment-complex! I'm in.

SEASON 6 PREMIERE, 10pm, A&E;
Billy the Exterminator
In "Snake, Rattle and Roll," Billy and his friend Ricky wrangle venomous pit vipers and use their venom in a magical potion they plan to use on other critters. Let's hope no one gets hurt here.

11:30pm, NBC
Saturday Night Live
Hosted by Bond—James Bond. Plus musical guest Muse. Double dreamy.

PLUS NEW EPISODES OF...
iCarly, 8 p.m., Nick
Bayou Billionaires, 9 p.m., CMT
Dateline: Real Life Mysteries, 9 p.m., TLC
See Dad Run, 9 p.m., Nick
Iyanla, Fix My Life, 10 p.m., OWN
My Fair Wedding With David Tutera: Unveiled, 9 p.m., WE
Parking Wars, SEASON 7 PREMIERE9 p.m., A&E;
The Suze Orman Show, 9 p.m., CNBC
Welcome to Sweetie Pie's: An Extra Slice, 9 p.m., OWN
48 Hours, 10 p.m., CBS
Deadly Affairs, 10 p.m., Investigation Discovery
I Was Impaled, 10 p.m., Discovey Health and Fitness
Pit Bulls and Parolees, SEASON 4 PREMIERE 10 p.m., Animal Planet

What to watch on Sunday, October 7...

SEASON 9 PREMIERE 8pm, Discovery
MythBusters
In tonight's premiere, "Titanic Survival," James Cameron joins Adam and Jamie to tackle one of the most cinematic myths in MythBusters history: "Is it possible that Rose and Jack could have both fit on the wooden board and survived together?"

8pm, Fox
The Simpsons
Fox is getting into the Halloween spirit a little early this year. This weekend marks The Simpsons' 23rd annual "Treehouse of Horror" special, and this year's installment will pay homage to Back to the Future with an apocalyptic Mayan twist. Sounds like fun!

9pm, Showtime
Dexter
Epic episode last Sunday, right? In tonight's "Sunshine and Frosty Swirl," Deb attempts to cure Dexter of his killer tendencies (good luck, lady!). Meanwhile, the Mike Anderson case appears to be connected to the Ukranian mob and a vengeful Louis won't stop meddling with Dexter's life.

SEASON 2 FINALE 9pm, AMC
Hell On Wheels
In the first hour of tonight's two-part Season 2 finale, "Blood Moon," Darren threatens Elam and Cullen prepares for battle. In the second hour, "Blood Moon Rising," Cullen fights to save Hell on Wheels.

10pm, ABC
666 Park Avenue
Will you be checking in again at 666 Park Avenue? In "Murmurations," Jane discovers something creepy behind the walls of The Drake when she renovates Mr. Barlow's apartment. Meanwhile, lonely Danielle turns to Gavin for help in her desperate need to find love.

PLUS NEW EPISODES OF...
Big Rich Texas SEASON 3 PREMIERE 8 p.m., Style
Call the Midwife, , 8 p.m., PBS
Cupcake Wars, 8 p.m., Food
Making Monsters, 8 p.m., Travel
Once Upon a Time, 8 p.m., ABC
Rehab With Dr. Drew, 8 p.m., VH1
The Amazing Race,8 p.m., CBS
The Simpsons, 8 p.m., Fox
Bob's Burgers, 8:30 p.m., Fox
Behind the Music,9 p.m., VH1
Boardwalk Empire,9 p.m., HBO
Dexter,9 p.m., Showtime
Family Guy, 9 p.m., Fox
Halloween Wars, SEASON 2 PREMIERE 9 p.m., Food
Long Island Medium,9 p.m., TLC
Oprah's Next Chapter, 9 p.m., OWN
Revenge 9 p.m., ABC
Snapped,9 p.m., Oxygen
The Good Wife, 9 p.m., CBS
American Dad, 9:30 p.m., Fox
The Shores, 9:30 p.m., TVGuide
666 Park Avenue, 10 p.m., ABC
Bridezillas, 10 p.m., WE
Breaking Amish, 10 p.m., TLC
Copper, 10 p.m., BBC America
Homeland, 10 p.m., Showtime
Married to Jonas, 10 p.m., E!
The Mentalist, 10 p.m., CBS
The Real Housewives of New Jersey, 10 p.m., Bravo
Tattoo Rescue,10 p.m., Spike
Treme, 10 p.m., HBO
Unusual Suspects, 10 p.m., Investigation Discovery

What are you watching this weekend?

View the original article here

Fringe S05E02: "In Absentia"

Following last week's action-jammed Season 5 premiere episode, Fringe toned things down in "In Absentia." But the lack of kinetic excitement gave way to mental exercise in this thought-provoking episode that asked about the effects of war. "In Absentia" went back to the characters of Fringe and gave us a personal look inside the emotional aftermath of The Observer invasion, but, as we're used to with Fringe, did it in the most perfect of ways.

With the busy work of getting the team assembled again out of the way, the focus shifted back to finding the plan to rid the planet of bald freaks, and that meant seeing one more old friend: Walter's lab. Over the two decades that The Bishops had been in stasis, Harvard University had been turned into an Observer base while Yale giggled. But the team got in anyway through some steam tunnels with little difficulty, because apparently this big Observer lockdown isn't as dictatorial as we thought it would be.

And it's once they're in the lab that the episode really took off into something great. Walter realized that his plan to de-Observer the planet was on an old Betamax video that he ambered for preservation, and the new chore involved excavating it from the giant orange Jell-O mold. But that required getting enough power back to the lab to juice up a laser that could cut the camera out. Usually I'm not a fan of these types of chores just to fill out an hour (see: Revolution), but the events surrounding this particular task did a fantastic job of giving us insight into the characters and the state of the world. And that was all made possible by the addition of Manfretti (played by Eric Lange, Lost's Radzinski), a loyalist guard who just wanted to feed some pigeons.

Like Olivia, Peter, Walter, and Aspirin, we the audience have not been around to see what transpired between 2015 and 2036, when The Observers nosed in on us and turned the place into a parking lot, but Resistance member Etta and loyalist Manfretti have. The situation that was set up wasn't just the expected differences of opinion between two people on opposite sides of the war, because that would be too easy. Instead, we're given a third perspective through Olivia, who serves as our eyes and ears to figure out exactly how crummy things are right now. And they're so crummy, that it turned Etta into a bloodthirsty maniac.

There's a delightful cat-and-mouse game between Manfretti and Olivia (and later Manfretti and Etta) that could only be sold by Lange's ridiculously good performance. Manfretti became the key to everything; he has some knowledge of the operations at Harvard, and Etta gleefully volunteered to extract the information from him through the very scary Angel device, a Taser that ages its recipient into a landscape of grey and wrinkles. After a few decades sucked away, Manfretti relented after making a deal with Olivia to let his son know that he wasn't coming back. In that time, he convinced Olivia (and more importantly us) that the Resistance was responsible for killing one of his other children, and he joined the loyalists out of fear and to protect his family. It's a moment that makes us rethink this whole good guy / bad guy set up that played out in the last episode.

But there was no reconsidering for Etta, who we saw a different side of in "In Absentia." If there's any character that needed to get more complicated, it was her, and hooo boy did she. Her merciless torture of Manfretti was just the beginning of the end of this sweet young thing we thought we knew. Later in the episode, she's ready to blow her cover and ruin the stealth mission she was on with Peter for the self-satisfaction of killing a few Chrome Domes after seeing her old pal Simon about 175 pounds lighter (the animatronic severed head of Henry Ian Cusick), and after that, despite Olivia's protests, she couldn't wait to turn Manfretti over to the Resistance where horrible things would be forced upon him.

On one side, we had Manfretti, giving a convincing sympathetic performance as a man who joined the loyalists to protect his family, and on the other side was an angry young woman calling Manfretti a liar and itching for violent eye-for-an-eye payback. We questioned who we were supposed to believe, and Olivia was right there to question things with us. The good guys got badder, and the bad guys got gooder. And we were in the middle of a playing field not knowing who to root for anymore. It became the old freedom fighter or terrorist question all over again. I love this kind of stuff.

But Olivia and we knew that the enemy wasn't Manfretti, it was The Observers, and there's a middle ground to be reached. Olivia unknowingly played mediator, bringing the two sides together to battle the real enemy. It turned out that Manfretti was lying about his son just as Etta thought, but Olivia's determination made Manfretti realize that fighting the Observers wasn't the lost cause he thought. And Etta ended up letting him go because she saw the pity in her mom's eyes.

See? You can learn a lot from your elders. Olivia woke up from a 21-year nap to find her grown-up daughter stripped of her humanity as the pain of war chiseled away at it. But her ignorance of what happened since then had a resounding effect on both Etta and Manfretti. Here are two sides (the human Resistance and the human loyalists) so far apart that they might not even remember why they started fighting two decades ago in the first place, the hatred passed on by the person that trained them. But here comes Olivia, Walter, and Peter, fresh from the good old days to show them what's up.

Perhaps it's not the scientific wizardry of Walter, the super-intelligence of Peter, or the Cortexiphan boost of Olivia that's going to turn the tide of this war. Maybe it's their lack of the pain and suffering endured by two decades of war and suppression that is their greatest asset. In order to defeat The Observers, the natives will have to rise up together, and tonight, they made their first convert.

– I had originally thought this season would be a little more straight-forward, but there are already theories bouncing around that this Etta was grabbed from another universe. Unless they bring the idea of multiple universes in the narrative of this season, I think we should discount that possibility!

– How did you like that trickery with the eyeball? They totally got me... I thought Walter scooped poor Manfretti's eyeball out of his head!

– Peter looks good in loyalist gear. (I know what you're saying ladies, Peter looks good in everything but especially good in nothing.)

– Are we going to get flashbacks to start every episode and let the holes regarding what happened in 2015 fill in from there? I would be okay with that.

View the original article here

I just want to let you know that I checked like EIGHT times to make sure Person of Interest wasn't somehow airing any random new episodes tonight. Because I think my heart might lit'rally stop if I ever miss mentioning it again and have to undergo the consequences. On the bright side, we actually have stuff to watch on Friday now! And Sunday is like an explosion of television greatness! Premiere season just does not cease to excite me. And it should excite you, too, because now you don't even have to attempt to make plans for the weekend. Take a look at what I'm talking about, then start prioritizing your DVRs—and when you're finally finished with that go outside and watch the sunset or something. It'll feel good, I swear:

What to watch on Friday, September 28...

SEASON 5 PREMIERE, 9pm, Fox
Fringe
In tonight's long-awaited Season 5 premiere, which has one of the longest titles and most confusing titles I've ever had to type, "Transilience Thought Unifier Model-11," Peter and Etta are on the search for Olivia and they start in 2036. Of course, also in 2036: the future Fringe team gets released from amber after 20 years and decides to join the rebellion that will halt the Observers' world dominance. Sounds kind of wonderful!

9pm, NBC
Grimm
After taking a little break, our favorite fairy-tale detective is back on the scene. In tonight's "The Good Shepherd" Monroe investigates a robbery at a Wesen church, and meanwhile, as Nick continues his quest to reconnect with Juliette, a menacing adversary starts tracing his tracks, putting him in unknown danger. Might this dangerous opponent have any connection to Captain Renard?

SERIES PREMIERE, 9pm, CBS
Made in Jersey
The 9 o'clock time slot is looking pretty busy, eh? In CBS's new court drama we meet small-town Jersey girl, Martina, who works at a fancy law firm in NYC. In the pilot, Martina impresses her boss by displaying some of her "street smarts" and winds up on a case involving a student and a professor at a local university. Moral of the story: Move to Jersey and all your dreams will come true.

PLUS NEW EPISODES OF...
America's Next Top Model, 8 p.m., The CW
Boss, 8 p.m., Starz
CSI: NY, SEASON 9 PREMIERE, 8 p.m., CBS
Shark Tank, 8 p.m., ABC
WWE Friday Night Smackdown!, 8pm, Syfy
America's Most Wanted, 9 p.m., Lifetime
Bering Sea Gold: Under the Ice, 9 p.m., Discovery
Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders: Making the Team, 9 p.m., CMT
Flea Market Flip, SERIES PREMIERE, 9 p.m., TLC
Ghost Adventures, 9 p.m., Travel
Say Yes to the Dress: Atlanta, 9pm, TLC
The Ultimate Fighter, 9 p.m., FX
Tyler Perry's For Better or Worse, 9 p.m., TBS
20/20, 10 p.m., ABC
Blue Bloods, SEASON 3 PREMIERE, 10 p.m., CBS
Cheer, 10 p.m., CMT
Dateline NBC, SEASON PREMIERE, 10 p.m., NBC
Deadly Women, 10 p.m., Investigation Discovery
Eden Eats, 10 p.m., Cooking
Fashion Police, 10 p.m., E!
Haven, 10 p.m., Syfy
House Hunters, 10 p.m., HGTV
Secret Princes, 10 p.m., TLC
Yukon Men, 10 p.m., Discovery
House Hunters International, 10:30 p.m., HGTV

LATE-NITE PICKS:
Christina Aguilera and TV host Sherri Shepherd on The Tonight Show With Jay Leno, 11:35 p.m., NBC
Ice-T and Justin Kirk on Late Night With Jimmy Fallon, 12:37 a.m., CBS
Michael C. Hall and Martha Plimpton on The Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson, 12:37 a.m., CBS

What to watch on Saturday, September 29...

9pm, BBC America
Doctor Who
In "The Angels Take Manhattan" the statues in New York City start to come to life, and the Doctor must figure out how, why, and what he needs to do to stop them from terrorizing the city. (Especially that Statue of Liberty lady—can you imagine what kind of havoc she could cause?) Also, the Doctor must say goodbye to Amy and Rory. Sad.

SERIES PREMIERE, 10pm, BBC America
Chef Race: UK vs US
BBC America is really taking the cake this Saturday. In this brand new series, chefs from the United Kingdom and United States compete for the crown of ...quickest chef? Is that really something to be proud of? The results, of course, will dictate which country is better and that's really all that matters, right? It doesn't really matter what they're better at. In the pilot, the teams will race from Los Angeles to Las Vegas (hopefully not on foot) and will have to prepare sushi in a bathroom along the way as well as high tea. Sounds like a reality show, alright! I love a chef who can prepare me sushi at a moment's notice—preferably while on the loo.

SPECIAL, 10pm, Comedy Central
Demetri Martin. Standup Comedian
Hey, remember Demetri? He had a show for a while but he didn't do so hot, so now he's back on the standup circuit? Well now he's back on a standup circuit that's back on TV! How do you like them apples? In it, Demetri uses his hand-drawn charts and drawings to illustrate his observations on cultural customs and conventions. It's high-brow humor with a low-brow twist!

PLUS NEW EPISODES OF...
Doctor Who in the U.S., SPECIAL, 8 p.m., BBC America
Bayou Billionaires, 9 p.m., CMT
Dateline: Real Life Mysteries, 9 p.m., TLC
Happily Never After, SEASON FINALE, 9 p.m., Investigation Discovery
Iyanla, Fix My Life, 10 p.m., OWN
My Fair Wedding With David Tutera: Unveiled, 9 p.m., WE
The Suze Orman Show, 9 p.m., CNBC
Welcome to Sweetie Pie's: An Extra Slice, 9 p.m., OWN
48 Hours, 10 p.m., CBS
Deadly Affairs, 10 p.m., Investigation Discovery
I Was Impaled, 10 p.m., Discovey Health and Fitness

What to watch on Sunday, September 30...

SEASON 2 PREMIERE, 8pm, ABC
Once Upon a Time
So many second season returns tonight! In this one, "Broken," we pick up right where we left off last season: As the Storybrooke curse is broken, the fairy-tale characters begin to remember their past lives, but for some reason aren't able to return to the world they left so long ago. And thanks to Mr. Gold, magic has returned to the town, as well. Meanwhile, in fairy-tale land, Prince Phillip awakens a sleeping beauty named Aurora.

SEASON 7 PREMIERE, 9pm, Showtime
Dexter
In this weekend's seventh season premiere, "Are You... ?," Deb does her best to hide her involvement in the Travis murder, Batista and Quinn finally reach an agreement, and Detective Mike Anderson gets caught up in a very unfortunate rendezvous. Also, LaGuerta has second thoughts about the Bay Harbor Butcher case. Is Dexter finally in too deep?

SEASON 2 PREMIERE, 9pm, ABC
Revenge
Now that the stakes are even higher after last summer's Hamptons events, Emily must carefully plan her next move. But what, exactly, could her next move be? There's so little to work with here, but that kind of vague reveal is part of what makes this show so great. So tune in!

SERIES PREMIERE, 10pm, ABC
666 Park Avenue
ABC attempts to take on the horror genre, which I personally attribute to American Horror Story's success, but whatever. In this new series, a young couple (Jane and Henry) are offered the chance to manage a prestigious apartment complex in New York City, which they agree to because they're so entranced by the Upper East Side's swank. But soon after they move in, supernatural forces begin to haunt them, which make them wonder how they can get out of their agreement.

SEASON 2 PREMIERE, 10pm, Showtime
Homeland
The Emmy Awards sweetheart is back on television just one week after taking a whole bunch of little gold statues home with them last week—and we couldn't be happier. In "The Smile" a former asset threatens Carrie's peace away from the office and Dana lets a huge secret slip. Also, Brody learns that Nazir might not like his idea of a nonviolent terrorist approach. Go figure!

PLUS NEW EPISODES OF...
Call the Midwife, SERIES PREMIERE, 8 p.m., PBS
Cupcake Wars, 8 p.m., Food
Making Monsters, SEASON 2 PREMIERE, 8 p.m., Travel
Off the Hook: Extreme Catches, 8 p.m., Animal Planet
Rehab With Dr. Drew, 8 p.m., VH1
The Amazing Race, SEASON 21 PREMIERE, 8 p.m., CBS
The Simpsons, SEASON 24 PREMIERE, 8 p.m., Fox
Bob's Burgers, SEASON 3 PREMIERE, 8:30 p.m., Fox
Bar Rescue, SEASON FINALE, 9 p.m., Spike
Behind the Music, 9 p.m., VH1
Boardwalk Empire, 9 p.m., HBO
Family Guy, SEASON 11 PREMIERE, 9 p.m., Fox
Hell on Wheels, 9 p.m., AMC
Long Island Medium, 9 p.m., TLC
Nail Files, SEASON FINALE, 9 p.m., TV Guide
Oprah's Next Chapter, 9 p.m., OWN
Sins & Secrets, 9 p.m., Investigation Discovery
Snapped, 9 p.m., Oxygen
The Good Wife, SEASON 4 PREMIERE, 9 p.m., CBS
The Great Food Truck Race, SEASON 3 FINALE, 9 p.m., Food
American Dad, SEASON 8 PREMIERE, 9:30 p.m., Fox
The Shores, SEASON PREMIERE, 9:30 p.m., TVGuide
Bridezillas, 10 p.m., WE
Breaking Amish, 10 p.m., TLC
Copper, 10 p.m., BBC America
Married to Jonas, 10 p.m., E!
The Mentalist, SEASON 5 PREMIERE, 10 p.m., CBS
The Real Housewives of New Jersey, REUNION SPECIAL, 10 p.m., Bravo
Taboo, 10 p.m., NatGeo
Tattoo Rescue, 10 p.m., Spike
Treme, 10 p.m., HBO
Unusual Suspects, 10 p.m., Investigation Discovery

What are you watching this weekend?

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BUSINESS TIME

... We finally have a date when television gets worst: February 2. That's the day after Fringe airs its last episode, concluding its great five-season run. Showrunner J.H. Wyman tweeted out the news to fans in a Twitter Q&A; session. It has yet to be confirmed by Fox, but if Wyman says that's when it is, that's when it is. Groundhog's Day is the 2nd, so let's hope we don't have to relive the day after Fringe ends over and over. [J.H. Wyman's Twitter]

... The CW is not quite done with superheroes and is in the very early stages of developing a Wonder Woman series. The idea would be to tell the (duh) origin story of the Amazonian to fit the show into The CW's preferred young adult demographic. Last season, NBC attempted to develop a Wonder Woman series based on a script by David E. Kelley, but that flamed out and became one of the laughing stocks of the year. [Vulture]

... The MTV Video Music Awards still exists for some reason, and last night's affair drew 6.1 million viewers and a 2.8 rating. In 2011, the show pulled in 12.4 million viewers. Let's all blame One Direction! [Deadline Hollywood]

... More details of Community's fourth season trickle out, and the latest is another one of the series' popular movie homages. And this one will be... Hunger Games. Apparently, Dean Pelton will hold games to decide who gets to enrill in the class "The History of Ice Cream." I'm not quite sure how to feel about this, as Community has always been particular about the movies it chooses to pay tribute to and this just feels like grabbing at the closest blockbuster in the shopping market checkout line. Even when the series did a Pulp Fiction spoof it turned out to actually be a spoof of My Dinner With Andre. [EW]

CASTING ROUNDUP

... The X Factor is looking at Khloe Kardashian and Sports Illustrated model Chrissy Teigen to join the judges' table when the live-to-tape shows begin airing next month. [NY Post]

... Wilmer Valderrama is returning to Suburgatory to reprise his role as Yoni the dog whisperer next season. Last season, he romanced Dallas after she split from her husband. Are you Team George or Team Yoni or Team What Are You Talking About? [TV Guide]

... More Dallas news, Mitch Pileggi (Supernatural) has been upped to regular for Season 2. He plays Harris Ryland, ex-husband to Brenda Strong. [Deadline Hollywood]

... Former Daily Show correspondent Rob Riggle continues to book guest roles instead of getting a show of his own. Riggle will appear on Fox's New Girl as another Schmidt, Schmidt's (Max Greenfield) cousin. Look for new Schmidt to appear in the Thanksgiving episode and cause some problems for his cuz. [TV Line]

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