Tv.com News

Downton Abbey S03E07 / S03E08: "Episode 7" / "Episode 8" (or S03E06/"Episode 6," according to PBS)

OH. OMG. IT'S HERE. IT'S #FREEBATES TIME, YOU GUYS. IT'S #FREEBATES TIME!

Bates emerged from prison looking pretty freaking dapper for a dude who spent THE ENTIRE SEASON in the slammer. The. Entire. Season. Yes, technically, the Season 3 finale aired tonight. What we're getting next week is actually the Christmas Special because... I don't know. I'm sure PBS has its reasons. But anyway, the point is, Bates is finally free, even if it took entirely too long to happen and frankly, just watching him and Anna paint walls was more exciting than anything else the couple did this season.

Except for when Bates got all, "I know what you did two seasons ago with the soap, you awful human being" with O'Brien in order to save Thomas's ass. I like to think that this means Thomas and Bates can be friends now, but I doubt it. Why can't those guys just get along?

So let's talk about O'Brien. Ugh, O'Brien. Ugh. I can't even make words, just the sound my brother's cat makes when it coughs up hairballs. The woman really doesn't have anything resembling an off-switch does she? You'd think she would have learned her lesson that time she, you know, CAUSED A MISCARRIAGE, but no, she remains fairly content with biding her time destroying lives in response to non-life-destroying slights. All season long, we bore witness as she played handsome flirty straight James and handsome sad closeted Thomas against one another, manipulating James for maximum discomfort at Thomas's intimacy and convincing Thomas that James liked it and wanted to reciprocate. Talk about an HR nightmare.

And yet, considering the time period, the location, and the culture Thomas has found himself stuck in, I thought the response from (most) of the rest of the house was surprisingly gracious. Carson had the harshest words, and the horsewhipping comment was totally uncalled for (not to mention the "revolting" bit and the... well... everything), but he was prepared to give Thomas a decent reference up until O'Brien pulled a few of her strings. He wanted Thomas out of his hair, out of the family's hair; but he didn't want him in prison or on the streets which was kind of decent of him. BABY STEPS, CARSON, BABY STEPS TO THE FUTURE. You made it through telephones, man. You can survive anything.

The most unexpected of the "Thomas is gay and that's okay" responses came from Robert himself, who continued running and hiding from the future between throwing tantrums regarding Edith's decision to write for the paper and Matthew's ongoing campaign to save their conveniently inherited fortune from landing in the toilet. Again. OH, and his granddaughter got christened into the Catholic church so he was good for some dignified scowling and passive-aggressive digs on that "foreign" institution. El-oh-el, those "bobbing Catholics." SO FUNNY.

But when it came to Thomas jumping in bed with James beneath Robert's very traditional and proper and god-fearing roof, Robert honestly couldn't have cared less. He went to Eton. You don't think boys tried to kiss other boys at Eaton? It was no big. "Thomas does not choose to be the way he is," he said, matching the sentiments of a large chunk of the house's inhabitants. That's an impressively progressive stance for a population that just a few decades earlier sincerely believed that pulling one's pudding led to blindness and insanity because the doctor said so. Also Jesus. Or something.

But hey, it's 1920. It's the modern world. We have JAZZ now. AND BLACK PEOPLE OMG BLACK PEOPLE. Lady Rosamund almost had a stroke walking into that club. Edith looked a little green around the gills—but get over it, lady, you're supposed to be our substitute Sybil! Luckily Matthew had spent some time living on Earth before shacking up in Downton with his cousin-bride, so his fright stemmed mostly from all the dancefloor sexin', possibly a complication of Mary not letting him "make her untidy." You know, sometimes the quaint little euphemisms sound so much dirtier than just coming out and saying, "No, we can't have a pre-dinner quickie."

I like that Rose chick, though. At first she seemed like a brat, and she IS a brat, but she's a brat who's already grown on me. She's a walking scandal-waiting-to-happen with her drinking and her sexy dancing and her hooking up with married men. But "Mummy" sounds like a horrorshow, so trainwreck away, you frizzy-haired little monster. Kisses!

So it appears that Downton has reached new heights of modernity, with Robert eventually—though somewhat reluctantly—agreeing to Matthew's revitalization plans, and even taking on Branson as the estate's agent; Mary hiring a nice doctor to fix her faulty incubator with science; Thomas being allowed to stay on (and even earning a promotion) despite his perfectly natural sexual preference; and Edith writing about "man things" for the paper as though she has, and this is a really novel idea here, a BRAIN.

Unfortunately, Edith still has crap luck when it comes to love, having caught the eye of her awesome, charming, and attractive editor... who is stuck in a loveless marriage to a "lunatic." They're adorable and I love them but I'm really over Edith's habit of drawing the attention of generally decent guys who end up breaking her heart. Gregson's tale of woe about the wife he loves who no longer recognizes him and the laws that won't let him move on is sad and all, but I'm a little apprehensive after Matthew's tough-love rant to Rose at the jazz club about older men preying on younger women ALWAYS being married to "dreadful women." I really hope I'm over analyzing the parallel between Rose and Edith. But seriously, Gregson, you hurt her and I WILL cut you.

Seriously.

What did you think of Downton Abbey's Season 3 finale/not-the-Season-3-finale?

– Dowager Countess Sass of the Night: On Ethel cultivating her skills: "But you seem to have so many!" Hooker skills. She means hooker skills. Poor Ethel. Such an easy target.

– Shameless leering at the wardrobe time: So many lovely ladies in red! Also, it looks like Edith discovered lipstick in London. HUSSY.

– Lol, Charles Ponzi shout out. PLEASE DON'T LET ROBERT PLAY THE INVESTMENT GAME ANYMORE KTHNX.

– "I'm not foul, Mr. Carson. I'm not the same as you, but I'm not foul." This season has done a really great job of making Thomas likeable, sympathetic, and secretly awesome.

– "Now we can begin making babies!" Can you sound like any more of a creep, Matthew? The only thing missing was a suggestive eyebrow waggle.

– Ethel stuff: People were mean to her because of the whole prostitute thing. The Dowager placed an ad in the paper for her. She got a new job near her bastard child. And they lived happily ever after until Charlie turned 18 and his "parents" told him the truth about his "former nanny." Awkward.

– What do you think about everyone's treatment of Thomas? Was it a little handwave-y? On one hand it's AWESOMELY progressive of everyone, but isn't it also kind of WEIRDLY progressive? To the point of maybe being out of character for most of our characters considering the time period?

– The Adventures of Detective Anna, Super Sleuth: Mission accomplished. Time to pick out curtains. (And make babies?)

View the original article here

Downton Abbey S03E06: "Episode 6" (or S03E05/"Episode 5," according to PBS)

UGH. FUNERAL TIME. Kinda glad Julian Fellowes didn't make us sit through that. This episode already felt like a wake, complete with the family drama and the awkward lunch spread of resentment. I don't mean that in a negative way at all; we're all still reeling from losing Sybil (WHYYYY?) and to simply skip a few months ahead would have been a slap in the face to her memory. However, we didn't really need the full-blown funeral treatment that Lavinia got because unlike Lavinia—who was very awesome in her own right—Sybil's absence is a void that won't be easily filled. Funerals are a means for the living to theoretically find closure after a loss, but with Tom widowed, his child motherless, Cora and Robert on the verge of the closest thing to divorce that isn't actually divorce, and the household as a whole continuing to feel Sybil's absence on a daily basis, closure isn't something that can be attained simply by sticking a box in the ground.

Robert was still exiled to sleeping in the dressing room when we tuned in this week and you'd think that he would have at least paused to think about how the ego trip he's been on all season long has alienated his family and even kinda sorta killed one of its members, but no. Tom decided to name the wee baby Branson after her mother, and Robert freaked out because he found it "ghoulish." Tom said he was looking for work, Robert seemed down with the idea until Tom mentioned taking the fruit of his loins with him and OMG I thought Robert was going to have a stroke when Tom said Baby Sybil would be raised Catholic. THE HORROR.

Robert, of course, only had his grandchild's best interest at heart. Or something. "The only chance that child will have at achieving anything in life is because of the blood of her mother." In a cynical way, sure, it was a brutally honest assessment of class divides, but given the Earl's tone and the fact that the outburst was largely in response to Tom's stance on Catholicism, it was more likely meant as yet more classist blather. Tell us how you REALLY feel, Bob.

While the destructive consequences of Robert's rigid stances on, well, pretty much everything these days, came to a head last week with Sybil's death, the most frustrating aspect of him actually, for me, concerns the prelude and the aftermath of what happened to Sybil. Robert wasn't always like this, was he? In the past, I always found him generally likeable. The characters of Downton Abbey are all products of their period, and we have to cut them a little slack from time to time. It's unfair to and unrealistic to expect their social mores to mesh perfectly with ours here in 2013 because they just don't—and if we're being sticklers for realism, they shouldn't! Still, in the context of the world as it was, the Crawleys are a pretty freaking progressive family. Robert has always been traditional, but he hasn't always been unreasonable. When—and why—did he become a dick this season? I think it's a combination of several things.

His over-the-top response to anything that even slightly threatens the social structure that has allowed him and his family to enjoy their lavish lifestyle is the result of a lifelong fight against failure that Robert has repeatedly lost. The first time the fortune was lost, Cora saved it. "Cursed" with three daughters and no son, the family title—the one thing that Robert can unquestionably call his own—was never going to stay in his direct line unless Mary wed conveniently... a situation that, even though it was eventually resolved in his favor, he ultimately had little control over. It's not like he MADE Mary and Matthew tie the knot. He was deemed too old for active service in the Great War and his business decisions have generally been mistakes. The post-war years have seen Robert experience a further loss of authority as the influence of the nobility has eroded across the board. The second time the fortune dried up, it was by Robert's hand, and it was only saved due to Matthew's luck and generosity—which, though fortunate, is now leading to further angst as Matthew's middle-class values clash with Robert's aristocratic beliefs.

Matthew tried to explain his drive to modernize Downton to Mary by emphasizing the practical business aspect of it: tenants work the land, money is made, everyone is happy. The problem with Downton is that through either neglect or mismanagement or simply not knowing any better, the estate not only doesn't make the money required to fund the Crawleys' lifestyle, it can't even cover the more modest lives of the staff. After all, Mrs. Patmore and Daisy don't cook for free. Dead Lavinia's fortune saved Downton by way of Matthew, but—and I'm willing to bet that Mary never really had to learn this—money isn't an infinite resource. Even obnoxious fortunes will run out if not maintained.

The thing is, I don't think Robert ever REALLY had to learn that lesson either—or many other lessons, given Violet's interactions with Dr. Clarkson this week. Frustrated, Matthew told Mary that her father "...wasn't given Downton by God's decree...," but isn't that pretty much EXACTLY what monarchs and nobles and other influential classes believed to be the case? How do you reason with a man who sincerely believes that everything good in his life has happened just because Jesus loves him the most-est? It certainly doesn't help that time and again, Robert's approach to life has never REALLY failed him. There has always been some last-minute stroke of luck bailing him out of actual consequences. Except with Sybil, and he has to live with that.

But lest he feel too guilty about it, Dowager Countess Mommy was there to get Dr. Clarkson to tell the miserable couple who recently lost their daughter that even though he SAID he could save her, he was mistaken. So essentially, Robert was right all along. "Robert frequently makes decisions based on values that have no relevance anymore," said Cora, which is true, but ultimately a meaningless statement if he is regularly absolved of any responsibility for those decisions.

Yeah yeah, Violet did it to save the marriage. Fine. But good intentions don't really change the implications of her actions. She gets brownie points for sticking around Isobel's luncheon even after Robert busted the door down to drag his wife and daughters out of that "whore house," though. RUDE, Robert. SCANDALOUSLY RUDE. He's like a child, sitting in the corner going "lalala I can't hear you!" every time something doesn't go his way—from Matthew getting involved with the estate to Branson wanting to, heaven forbid, be involved in his own child's life to Edith getting over her epic Strallan sadness by using her fancy upper-class educated brain to write thoughtful newspaper columns. Something has to give. I thought something had given last week, but I guess Robert's paranoid masculinity needs more.

It's because we STILL don't have any #FreeBates in our lives, isn't it. The dude just exudes calm. Even when he's THIS close to shanking his sucky roommate during inmate playtime out in the yard, he's the portrait of calm, composed, and considerate.

Soon, kids. SOON.

Maybe.

I hope.

– Dowager Countess Sass of the Night: On ex-prostitute Ethel's cook uniform, "I suppose she has an appropriate costume for every activity." Lol. U SO MEAN, VIOLET.

– Shameless leering at the wardrobe time: Who knew mourning attire could be so sexy and chic?

– I like how when Travis implied that it was "un-English" to belong to the Catholic church, Branson just ran with it and was basically like "YUP. TEAM IRELAND REPRESENT!" <3

– Edith: "I sometimes wonder if I should learn to cook." Mary: "Why?" It's funny because she wasn't being snarky; she was genuinely confused. Oh, Mary. You're really adorable sometimes.

– The Adventures of Detective Anna, Super Sleuth: In the most exciting part of this entire storyline, Bates found out that his sucky roommate and one of the sucky guards bribed Mrs. Bartlett to keep quiet about Vera poisoning herself, so he dragged Sucky Roommate into the shadows while I screamed "SHANK HIM! SHANK HIM!" at the TV. He didn't, and the excitement level returned to its usual comatose state, but sure enough, Mrs. Bartlett eventually told the truth. I THINK IT'S ALMOST #FREEBATES TIME, YA'LL!

View the original article here