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Being Human S03E12: "Always a Bridesmaid, Never Alive"

For an episode as action-packed as "Always a Bridesmaid, Never Alive," the penultimate episode of Being Human's third season, not a whole helluva lot actually happened. However, what DID happen was enormously important, the episode could've stood on its own as a finale, except that Being Human tradition dictates that the status quo must be destroyed by every season's end so that we spend the long hiatus fretting over the state of our favorite monster roommates. Okay maybe we only panic for a like week after the finale airs. Or a day. Whatever. The important part is that we come back for more and that image of Josh and Nora driving off in newlywed bliss with a recently re-ghosted Sally shaking that thang on the sidewalk was a little too happily ever after—even with Bubble Boy chained to Aidan's bed in the basement. 

Awkward. 

Nora and Josh pushed their wedding date up to, like, tomorrow in order to make it possible for Rapid Decomposition Action Sally to attend as Nora's maid of honor, but when Sally took a turn for the worst, the rush job was halted so everyone could stand around and mope, except for Sally who was really very positive about the whole My Life As a Rotting Corpse routine and who delighted in freaking Josh out by flashing her gnarly rotting stomach at him. That's my girl. If you had told me at the beginning of this season that Sally would be my favorite character, I wouldn't have believed you, but I now accept the error of my ways. I'm excited about Sally moving forward; I forgot how much fun Ghost Sally can be with her invisible peanut gallery shtick, but her commentary during Josh and Nora's wedding ceremony was a welcome reminder. Here's hoping she stays fun even after the novelty of (apparently) beating Donna the Necromancer wears off.

On one hand, I feel like the big battle with Donna was anticlimactic after all the doom and gloom from Josh about his and Aidan's probable suicide mission to back Sally's assault on the keeper of her soul. But on the other hand, I appreciated that Sally ultimately saved herself by overwhelming Donna with her energy and zest for (after) life. Before she died for the second time, Sally confessed that even though things didn't work out ideally, she didn't regret what Josh and Nora did for her by initially making contact with Donna to bring her back from limbo. She got to be alive for a little while, which was awesome at face value, but more importantly, Sally got to be herself again. We'd heard all about this perky, smart, and fun Sally who was gradually worn away during her abusive relationship with her eventual murderer, and Sally's original ghost self reflected that anguish over not just losing her physical life, but also realizing that she'd been dead inside for a long time before Danny threw her down the stairs. 

Ghost Sally 2.0 is the product of a woman who died on her own terms and successfully faced the malevolent entity that wanted to strike her down. She died (again) after a second life that she thrived in, with friends, a job, and a ridiculously sweet boyfriend—all the trappings that her first stint in the meatworld lacked in the run-up to its early conclusion. By leaving the world with few, if any, weighty regrets, the Sally that remains behind this time around is a more recognizable shade of the person Sally Malik was in life, and I'm really happy for her.

Not sure what this means for Sally in regards to her real door, or if that's even an issue anymore. I thought Being Human had established that ghosts are created by the deaths of people with unresolved issues, which explains Sally's lingering presence in the aftermath of her murder, but not so much this time, where she went into the sort of light uninhibited by regrets. A lot of credit was given to Sally's overwhelming resolve to stay with her friends and I'm totally willing to just go with it for now, but I feel like that isn't something that the cosmic powers that be will allow to go on indefinitely. She got in trouble the first time around for blowing off her door. Even though Donna was all evil and stuff, she had a point about the natural order of things. I'm pretty sure there are rules somewhere about how ghosts can't just shack up in a funky old house in Boston simply because they want to.

But it's cool. Sally needs something to do next season. For now, I'm just going to bask in the sweet, sweet glory of victory.

What did you think of Donna's death? And the nuptials of a certain werewolf couple?

– "DID YOU JUST GOUGE A HOLE IN MY CORPSE?"

– Even though Nora made me gag with her newfound, over-the-top love for her and Josh's "best friends" (and Aidan in particular), the fact that she didn't write any vows was kind of precious. I'm not saying I'm forgiving whatever was going on with her earlier this season, but this episode made small—but steady—progress toward redeeming Nora for me. 

– I really hope that hallucination/fourth dimension/mind-trip encounter between Josh and his wolf doesn't adversely affect all the nifty progress he made meditating with Pete. RIP, Pete. 

– How much longer are Aidan's flimsy excuses going to fly with Kat? Can we just tell her already? I mean, he has a teenager chained up in the basement, a bunch of accidental were-vampire mutant babies possibly running around, and a bunch of frenemies who keep eating his roommates' pals. AND he helped fight a witch. AND he officiated a were-wedding. Dude just has a lot on his plate right now, you know?

– HI RAY! BYE RAY!

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Being Human S03E05: "Get Outta My Dreams, Get Into My Mouth"

It was only a matter of time before Daddy Werewolf figured out that Aidan ganked the masculine half of his werewolf wonder twins. How long do you think it'll be until he realizes it was Nora who put down his other pup? I suspect he already knows and he's just playing mind games because mind games are the best games, especially when the only alternatives are Aidan's hunger games and Sally's foolish games.

Actually, no, Sally's storyline has really, truly benefitted from getting her out of the house and into sunlight and clothes that aren't also pajamas. She got a job at Max's funeral home, they had sex in the viewing room, and the ghost of Max's overbearing mom, Linda, joined the parade of troubled spirits looking to ghost whisperer Sally for guidance. Or, in Linda's case, not so much. Sally had taken to carrying an iron frying pan everywhere to dispel needy spirits, but Linda had no intentions of moving on. Linda just wanted to stick around and keep her precious baby boy from being deflowered. Forever. OMG WORST HAUNTING EVER.

So along came "naked naughty Sally" with no fear of dear old mom and a supercharged undead sexdrive to devirgin Max and defile the viewing room. I would say that it was a YOLO moment, except Sally has already proven that you do NOT, in fact, only live once. On a side note: Is YOLO still a thing? Is it over? I mean, I've only recently started utilizing it at inappropriate times, like while microwaving breakfast burritos and procrastinating on laundry (big fan of the sniff test) and I was always under the impression that only assholes ever said it, which is fine, cuz I am, but I'd HATE to be DATED, you know? #YOLO?

I'm a mess.

SO ANYWAY, Sally tried to exorcise Linda (RUDE) but only because Linda ghost-possessed her first and made her quit her job and hurt Max's widdle fee fees in the process (ALSO RUDE). In the end, Mommy admitted that she only wanted Max to be happy with his life of supernaturally induced celibacy and I guess they reached a truce and Sally's now allowed to uh, water his flower whenever she sees fit. Congrats to both (all three?) of you. Considering that all of Sally's hook-ups eventually end up dead, where do we gauge Max's life expectancy? Sure, he won't fall under the unfortunate-encounters-with-Sally's-former-life clause, but it's not like Danny survived long after his exposure to Sally either.

Armed with the knowledge that Aidan offed his male heir, Liam met Josh via Nora, was surprisingly only moderately judgey about the killing Ray thing, and reached out to the aimless wolfpack by giving them a purpose in life: to kill that pasty-but-handsome vampire nurse. He even returned wayward Erin to them, which was probably more awesome for guilty-Nora than Josh, who had come to realize that maybe adopting an emotionally unstable were-teen was not the sort of complication their already complicated relationship needed. No marriage talk this week, Josh? I kind of missed it (no I didn't).

Josh adamantly refused to waste his vampire BFF and waved a pistol around for good measure. He's so cute when he think he's being threatening. Not sure what Daddy Werewolf's motive was in just letting him leave after that little display. Any theories? Given Nora's stance that Aidan isn't really that nice of a guy and has probably killed "thousands" of people on his own over the years, not to mention my personal belief that Liam knows she killed Brynn, I'm thinking Papa will appeal to/pressure her to step in where Josh refused to tread. That could be fun. Aidan's story was lacking a pulse along with its immune system this week and it pains me to say so, it really does, because I'm partial to his storylines. I've loved Sam Witwer since (Spoiler alert if you haven't seen The Mist!) Marcia Gay Harden fed him to that giant praying mantis monster, but ugh, this week, ugh. It's like all Aidan does lately is dream weird dreams and hallucinate his murder victims—and they aren't even FUN hallucinations of murder victims.

Being Human North America has moved away from its European roots in the two seasons since its debut, though the parallels are still there—particularly when it comes to Sally versus her BBC counterpart, Annie. Is anyone else who's familiar with the original series beginning to entertain the notion that Aidan is ultimately going the way of Mitchell? Mitchell tried real hard. Aidan tries real hard. But Mitchell was a chronic ne'er do well. Everything he touched blew up in his face. I'm starting to believe that Aidan is the same sort of perpetual f*k-up, which is sad, because it makes it hard to have faith in the guy when you know he's just going to ruin everything again and again and again.

Bubble Boy is TOTALLY a goner.

– Holy crap, it wasn't a full moon this episode. WEIRD.

– Uh. What exactly is a "cautious swallower?"

– This episode was like, Fake-Out City. You should see my notes. Page 3, Line 1: "Aidan kills the suspicious nurse." Line 2: "Nevermind."

– "I know, I'm not special like everyone else in the house." Look at it this way, Mimi, you're special BECAUSE you're not special. Right? Maybe?

– What's Liam McLean's angle?

– I think it might have more interesting if Aidan had ACTUALLY killed the suspicious nurse.

– WHERE IS RAY? I don't even really like or care about Ray, but it's been WEEKS since we've heard from him.

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Being Human S03E04: "I'm So Lonesome I Could Die"

I still stand by my belief/denial that because we didn't actually see Henry bite it on screen, he's not actually dead, but Aidan thinks he is, so let's run with it. What do you do when your vampire offspring comes down with the incurable vampire flu? You throw one helluva party even though your roommates are trying to sleep. You also drink from anyone with a pulse because you have a death wish. For real, Aidan, if you're just going to indiscriminately "roll the dice" with your pub food, at least nosh on someone who isn't a big, sweaty biker-type. Do you really want your last meal to taste like sweat and B.O.? Or, according to Sally, "Hep-C?"

Oh man, so I'm not really on the Sally-and-Aidan-sitting-in-a-tree bandwagon just yet, but they were kinda cute at the bar, weren't they? You know, until Aidan ditched her to quench his bloodlust? Sally even got to be awesome for a few minutes—that was a BIG stake. Kudos to Miss Malik for saying the things we were all thinking while Aidan indulged in yet another angst-and-blood fueled bender. He'll just never learn. Sure, most—if not ALL—of Aidan's vampire BFFs are dead and that's sad, especially when part of the vampire deal is that you get to live forever being sexy and throwing sexy keggers with your sexy immortal-ish friends. But honestly, not everyone Aidan was moping over in that sadface montage was a particularly good friend, and hasn't Aidan spent two seasons trying to break out of the nest anyway? (The answer is yes.)

But like Aidan said, he just wanted his freedom, not the apocalypse, which is also a kind of freedom, but it's a terribly lonely freedom. Plus Aidan had second thoughts about freeing girlfriend/snackpack Emma from Henry's cushy cage because Henry would still be alive if his system were still in place. Vampires are complicated, except in Aidan's case, where they're weirdly human about things. Despite his epic sadness, Aidan didn't really feel like letting Sally stick him, so he got his shit together and got his job at the hospital back. He was assigned to the night shift tending to Kenny, the "bubble boy," who suffers from severe combined immunodeficiency and has never been touched by a germ in his life.

I think we all know where this is going.

Meanwhile, Josh and Nora's werewolf brood engaged in the most mundane aspect of humanity this week—reluctantly attending family birthday parties (ugh) and in Josh's case, agonizing over whether or not to ask his ladyfriend to marry him. JUST DO IT, DUDE, YOU'VE BEEN DEBATING THIS FOR FOUR EPISODES NOW.

Nora's mother's birthday is the only time Nora visits her family because otherwise, mom doesn't get a birthday cake. She wanted to go alone, but Josh insisted on joining in on the opposite of fun because after he told Aidan about his matrimonial intentions, Aidan said he should probably "do it right" and ask Nora's dad for the okay. I guess he missed the memo about Nora's family being messed up. It's cool. Being buried alive tends to do that.

So mom got her cake and Josh got his blessing—if you want to call it that—and "teen wolf" Erin, masquerading as Josh's cousin, hit things off with Nora's borderline-dirtbag brother RJ. Later, RJ came to the house to congratulate Nora on her engagement, except Josh was still screwing around and hadn't gotten that far yet. Nora went out for coffee and RJ made out with Erin. Josh interrupted nookie-time like a DAD, RJ threw a punch, Nora threw him out, and Erin ran away. Yay, family!

So now that the cat... dog... is out of the bag and Nora knows what Josh is up to, he should probably just suck it up and ask, right? Maybe? Probably not. Nora was throwing out some seriously mixed signals after Erin bailed. She agreed that Erin leaving was probably for the best, which matched Josh's own sentiment quite well, but then she talked about "slowing down" and making sure they didn't get tangled up in more than they could handle—which, given that she's now totally aware of the huge life-step Josh has spent the entire season trying to talk himself into, she had to know what she was implying. Ugh, this isn't the part of "being human" that Being Human needs. Lip service to paying the rent is a nice touch that keeps our supernatural roomies grounded in humanity. An entire storyline dedicated to will-they-won't-they seems like such a waste. We can get that in pretty much any other show in any other genre anywhere.

But fine, maybe Josh should just keep his mouth shut for now. Either way, though, stop waffling, son! Did Mimi-Siku waffle when it was time to bring fire down from the Statue of Liberty? No! MIMI-SIKU IS NOT A WAFFLER.

Oh, and we learned that Nora killed Brynn. I bet that's important.

– "Aidan was okay with it because when he was a teenager, beer was safer than water." Aww, it was totally a make-fun-of-Aidan-for-being-semi-immortal night on BH, what with the beer lulz and Sally's "old man" music and even Aidan's quaint little insistence that there's a "right" way to ask someone to marry you. He ages like a... well, actually he doesn't age. Whatever, you know what I mean.

– "So drinks come in bowls. Best bar ever." Normally, I'd be right there with you Sally, but that margarita looked like bath water. So I'mma pass.

– Do you think Papa Werewolf knew Nora killed Brynn all along?

– This season is really big on revealing plot-altering points in throwaway lines: BTW, Nora killed Brynn and all Aidan's vampire friends are probably dead, including Mother. Probably.

– Prediction: Erin will return when she accidentally kills an ex-boyfriend.

– Other prediction: Bubble Boy will either be dead or turned by the end of the season.

– I still hate those Subaru commercials.

– When do we find out what happened to Ray? What do you think Ray (and Sally's witch) are up to?

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