Showing posts with label Could. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Could. Show all posts

The Walking Dead Season 3 Finale Review: They Never Could

The Walking Dead S03E16: "Welcome to the Tombs"

Well, Andrea's curse on Season 3 of The Walking Dead is over. Just in time for everything to be over.

For a character whose sole purpose was ultimately to be blissfully ignorant of the political affairs between Woodbury and the prison, her role was strung out for what felt like an eternity. By the end, the writers were just having her show increasing amounts of skin and trip on stuff like some common, sweater-meated horror-trope harlot. How often can you have someone constantly make decisions the audience knows are the wrong ones?

Even if we didn't have a somewhat-limited but basically omniscient perspective on the story, the fact that she'd turn coat on Michonne so quickly and trust the stranger over her intuition and obviously badass friend doomed her from the beginning. Then, not only was she wrong about The Governor, but she tried to broker some sort of peace deal when she found out that he was intent on destroying Rick and the gang. Rather than choosing a side, she ended up riding the fence right into the jaws of a biter. Her destined demise was the root for one of the major themes of the season.

The Governor, especially after adopting the pirate look, got cheesier and cheesier with his one-liners and any examples of his unchecked power that didn't involve blasting people in their heads. But his big line sums up that theme: "In this life now, you kill or you die. Or you die and you kill." In a world where people are disillusioned of past notions that we may not all be walking meatbags, where the macabre and bestial nature of killing walkers to survive and watching others get eaten as they die is the norm, pacifism loses its place with no one around to respect it. Armies of the undead have no rules against living civilians, and scarce resources mean whoever is mightier will be the one to get what they need. Be prepared to kill or be prepared to die. Because even death can't stop you from being a killer.

Carl spoke with Rick, just before Rick headed to Woodbury, and filled in that sentiment with a little more nuance. Carl wasn't ashamed that he shot the fleeing member of Pip Blake's militia, no matter whether he was surrendering or not. The boy has become disillusioned with his father's white-hat approach to survival. As the enemies become more complicated, and not just the undead are trying to kill them but so are the people who are competing for resources and safety, Carl feels like Rick's sense of "doing the right thing" is an antique. For Carl, it's not Humans vs. Walkers. It's Us vs. Them. If he doesn't know you or feel like you're "one of us," you're just another mouth to feed, another body to protect, another set of hands that can turn on you. Letting people live just because they're people has gotten the group into trouble, according to a suddenly very mature, very talkative Carl. Had they been more ruthless, they might not have to live in fear.

There was also a sense of choosing sides and how necessary it is for survival. It's no surprise that Daryl voiced the concurring opinion as Andrea uttered the platitudes of the dying. Happy to see that Michonne had made it into the in-crowd, she said, "No one can make it alone now." "They never could," Daryl said. That was the fundamental difference between him and Merle, particularly after Daryl had been with Rick's group for a while. Merle thought he could survive on his own, at the most be a soldier-of-fortune, within the walker landscape. Daryl came to realize that people have to stay in a pack, that that's the only way to happiness and safety: numbers. And having to put Zombie Merle down last week only confirmed his perspective. You can't waver. You can't just plug your ears and pretend it's not happening. You have to be active in this life. And you have to choose which side you want to be on: the undead or the living, the White Hat meritocracy or the benevolent dictatorship. You can't be alone anymore, so choose a group and stay loyal to it.


Then, right after Andrea said that, she talked about how she wanted to do "it" herself, meaning she wanted to end it all after she done got bit. Seeing her there with a tearful Michonne and a solemn family almost made us forget how utterly annoying she'd been the entire episode. You could reduce her entire story to: She was handcuffed to a chair, she had to pick up pliers with her toes, she finally did it, but she wasn't able to escape Milton the Walker. That was strung out for AN HOUR. So many pauses just to look at Milton and assess whether he was going to turn. So much time wasted on talking with Milton about whatever when she could've been working at her binds. Maybe her clock was much shorter than the rest of the characters' (we don't know how long Andrea was lying on the floor before the prison group found her), but because so little happened with Andrea over the course of the episode but her story still seemed to be equally weighted with other scenes, it felt like she was just gazing at that doofus for half the day before finally going into panic mode.

Good riddance, I say. A thought crossed my mind when the group was about to head to Woodbury and Glenn said he and Maggie would stick around: Daryl mentioned that it would just be the three of them, meaning Rick, Daryl, and Michonne, who were heading to the Governor's settlement... "That's really all you need," I thought. And, really, you only need Rick so he can do the talking. If it were a fairer fight, like The Governor's men all had compound bows instead of military-grade automatics, those two could've killed three-quarters of Blake's army, scared off the rest, and pantsed The Governor in about twenty minutes.

Putting Andrea back in the mix would've only introduced a "me too" to the dynamic. They have everything covered now; bringing Andrea back to the prison would just bring unnecessary complications to an already-established warrior class. She would've insisted on being a part of that group, though; doesn't matter that whenever she has been in the past, she's been nothing but trouble. Remember when she almost killed Daryl? It's better this way, with Andrea serving as the fountain from which Michonne's consuming desire for revenge springs eternal.

Besides, there are enough people in the prison now anyway. If Carl's reasoning for why he shot that kid and why his dad's gone soft might've sounded a little silly near the beginning of the episode, bringing a busload of strangers into the safety of your home with no real plan to feed, clothe, or protect them from the world and the inevitable attacks by Dread Pirate Captain Blake might make you come around. The White Hat is getting them into another critical situation because Rick lacks the ruthless instinct necessary to keep his family unit together while everybody else rots. In contrast, his son can see how the "open door" policy may lead to their doom. It's too trusting for a world where everyone is, basically, out for themselves. If Rick breaks down while running the lives of ten other people, that's nothing compared to the entire town of Pleasantville.

For a season finale, the cliffhanger wasn't necessarily the mightiest or the gaspiest but it does open up a couple of questions. (1) How is this going to work with so many people (probably all suffering some sort of trust-issues since they were duped by a madman) and (2) How will The Governor strike back and how long until Michonne cleaves his head clean off his body? A good episode full of the post-apocalyptic platitudes but a lot of senseless death, and it tied a ribbon on the season quite nicely.

SURVIVAL NOTES

– The Governor went from charming secret maniac to Mad Max villain right quick. In this episode he swung so far into comic book villain it was almost funny. The grave "thank you" when he presented Tyreese with the rifle, the cheesy line when he closed down the teaser, the senseless killing of his people and those who would turn against him. I didn't know if I was watching The Walking Dead or some prologue to a Joel Schumacher Batman flick.

– At first, I was pretty disappointed with how the prison invasion sequence happened at the top of the episode. Pip had that pep talk, they moved out, they got into the prison and blew up the watchtowers, marched right in, then scurried out, and retreated. Part of me expected there to be a long drawn out battle. When they all left I actually said out loud, "What the eff? That's it?" The AMC promos showcased a war and all we got was barely a skirmish. After watching the entire episode, I can see that the actual battle wasn't the real war but, at the time, I was about to demand my money back.

– Since this episode aired on Easter, I'm curious: Has The Walking Dead ever done a holiday episode? A Very Walker Christmas? The Undead's Thanksgiving Feast? Where's our wedding episode?

– Maybe one of those new people from Woodbury can cut everyone's dang hair.

– Is it too soon to start 'shipping Rick and Michonne?


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Being Human "I'm So Lonesome I Could Die" Review: Party Like It's 1779

Being Human S03E04: "I'm So Lonesome I Could Die"

I still stand by my belief/denial that because we didn't actually see Henry bite it on screen, he's not actually dead, but Aidan thinks he is, so let's run with it. What do you do when your vampire offspring comes down with the incurable vampire flu? You throw one helluva party even though your roommates are trying to sleep. You also drink from anyone with a pulse because you have a death wish. For real, Aidan, if you're just going to indiscriminately "roll the dice" with your pub food, at least nosh on someone who isn't a big, sweaty biker-type. Do you really want your last meal to taste like sweat and B.O.? Or, according to Sally, "Hep-C?"

Oh man, so I'm not really on the Sally-and-Aidan-sitting-in-a-tree bandwagon just yet, but they were kinda cute at the bar, weren't they? You know, until Aidan ditched her to quench his bloodlust? Sally even got to be awesome for a few minutes—that was a BIG stake. Kudos to Miss Malik for saying the things we were all thinking while Aidan indulged in yet another angst-and-blood fueled bender. He'll just never learn. Sure, most—if not ALL—of Aidan's vampire BFFs are dead and that's sad, especially when part of the vampire deal is that you get to live forever being sexy and throwing sexy keggers with your sexy immortal-ish friends. But honestly, not everyone Aidan was moping over in that sadface montage was a particularly good friend, and hasn't Aidan spent two seasons trying to break out of the nest anyway? (The answer is yes.)

But like Aidan said, he just wanted his freedom, not the apocalypse, which is also a kind of freedom, but it's a terribly lonely freedom. Plus Aidan had second thoughts about freeing girlfriend/snackpack Emma from Henry's cushy cage because Henry would still be alive if his system were still in place. Vampires are complicated, except in Aidan's case, where they're weirdly human about things. Despite his epic sadness, Aidan didn't really feel like letting Sally stick him, so he got his shit together and got his job at the hospital back. He was assigned to the night shift tending to Kenny, the "bubble boy," who suffers from severe combined immunodeficiency and has never been touched by a germ in his life.

I think we all know where this is going.

Meanwhile, Josh and Nora's werewolf brood engaged in the most mundane aspect of humanity this week—reluctantly attending family birthday parties (ugh) and in Josh's case, agonizing over whether or not to ask his ladyfriend to marry him. JUST DO IT, DUDE, YOU'VE BEEN DEBATING THIS FOR FOUR EPISODES NOW.

Nora's mother's birthday is the only time Nora visits her family because otherwise, mom doesn't get a birthday cake. She wanted to go alone, but Josh insisted on joining in on the opposite of fun because after he told Aidan about his matrimonial intentions, Aidan said he should probably "do it right" and ask Nora's dad for the okay. I guess he missed the memo about Nora's family being messed up. It's cool. Being buried alive tends to do that.

So mom got her cake and Josh got his blessing—if you want to call it that—and "teen wolf" Erin, masquerading as Josh's cousin, hit things off with Nora's borderline-dirtbag brother RJ. Later, RJ came to the house to congratulate Nora on her engagement, except Josh was still screwing around and hadn't gotten that far yet. Nora went out for coffee and RJ made out with Erin. Josh interrupted nookie-time like a DAD, RJ threw a punch, Nora threw him out, and Erin ran away. Yay, family!

So now that the cat... dog... is out of the bag and Nora knows what Josh is up to, he should probably just suck it up and ask, right? Maybe? Probably not. Nora was throwing out some seriously mixed signals after Erin bailed. She agreed that Erin leaving was probably for the best, which matched Josh's own sentiment quite well, but then she talked about "slowing down" and making sure they didn't get tangled up in more than they could handle—which, given that she's now totally aware of the huge life-step Josh has spent the entire season trying to talk himself into, she had to know what she was implying. Ugh, this isn't the part of "being human" that Being Human needs. Lip service to paying the rent is a nice touch that keeps our supernatural roomies grounded in humanity. An entire storyline dedicated to will-they-won't-they seems like such a waste. We can get that in pretty much any other show in any other genre anywhere.

But fine, maybe Josh should just keep his mouth shut for now. Either way, though, stop waffling, son! Did Mimi-Siku waffle when it was time to bring fire down from the Statue of Liberty? No! MIMI-SIKU IS NOT A WAFFLER.

Oh, and we learned that Nora killed Brynn. I bet that's important.

– "Aidan was okay with it because when he was a teenager, beer was safer than water." Aww, it was totally a make-fun-of-Aidan-for-being-semi-immortal night on BH, what with the beer lulz and Sally's "old man" music and even Aidan's quaint little insistence that there's a "right" way to ask someone to marry you. He ages like a... well, actually he doesn't age. Whatever, you know what I mean.

– "So drinks come in bowls. Best bar ever." Normally, I'd be right there with you Sally, but that margarita looked like bath water. So I'mma pass.

– Do you think Papa Werewolf knew Nora killed Brynn all along?

– This season is really big on revealing plot-altering points in throwaway lines: BTW, Nora killed Brynn and all Aidan's vampire friends are probably dead, including Mother. Probably.

– Prediction: Erin will return when she accidentally kills an ex-boyfriend.

– Other prediction: Bubble Boy will either be dead or turned by the end of the season.

– I still hate those Subaru commercials.

– When do we find out what happened to Ray? What do you think Ray (and Sally's witch) are up to?


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Elementary "Child Predator" Review: Good Episode, But We Could Have Done Without the Kid Murder

Elementary S01E03: "Child Predator"

I find child murder inappropriate for television. I hate to sound like an old killjoy yelling at everybody to get out of her yard, but while I can/have/love to watch murder mystery after horror movie after action film where over-18-year-olds get taken out like mice under a lawn mower, just the sight of a gloved hand gesturing for a child to get in a car is a little too much for me. Elementary tried to find a loophole in the old "Don't use the most heartbreaking crime on earth for entertainment value" rule last night with a twist: The child we saw kidnapped in the opening was actually the mastermind behind all the subsequent child captures and murders. Still, this is just NOT how I like to relax, folks. Aren't there enough compelling ways to kill grown-ups without ratcheting up the stakes to, "Someone has your little girl!"?

To be fair, its not like Elementary was intent on rendering the loss of a child with gritty realism a la The Killing. The parents of the kidnapped little girl were introduced to the audience a few seconds before their televised interview and then got really mad when Sherlock came in and brought the media junket to a screeching halt. Grieving parents need their screentime, okay?! As much as we all loved Sherlock for stopping the interview in the most aggressive way possible (spray paint on the camera lens! Someone tell Lindsay Lohan to carry spray paint in her car and tag paparazzi!):

...but like, why was the family giving interviews so soon? Redonk. And then later they told the police chief he would be the FIRST ONE they'd go after talking to "the press." We got the impression that the second call they made after calling the police was to a PR agency for representation. Simmer, grieving TV parents! Simmer.

As for spotting tiny details and weaving them into a damning narrative, last night's episode was one of the more successful ones we've seen so far. Sherlock's glance at the kitchen led to the discovery of an Anna Nicole-lookalike mistress.

A paint scratch on a parked car told a tale of the kidnapper's van (shudder shudder shudder) and the banter between Sherlock and Watson was simply adorable. "I thought I was just a cavernous expanse between two ears," Watson coyly whispered at one point. After last week effectively drove a wedge between the pair, this week was about Sherlock vocalizing what he likes about Watson and validating her role beyond all the "sobriety twaddle"—she provides a sounding board, she actively assists in supporting him rather than interfering with his process. (Also she's provided several integral clues in the last couple weeks, but that was glossed over.) And how adorable was it when they fell in step doing squats? Lucy Liu gets extra points for doing squats in high heels.

The person in this episode who got a million points was Johnny Simmons, who took a break from the big screen to step into this juicy/thankless role as a child child-murderer, a 19-year-old who was first kidnapped and then used his superior intellect to direct his abductor and commit more and more murders (shudder). He seriously knocked my socks off both as a vulnerable brainwashed abductee whispering sweet nothings across the table from Sherlock and also as a "lettin' the freak flag fly" psychopath with an immunity deal taunting Sherlock in the park. Not to mention that gracefully handled some rather clumsy exposition speeches. I almost felt sad when cops picked him up because having him around a couple more episodes as a small-arc nemesis could have been cool, but hopefully his schedule was too full. Hire him, Hollywood, is what I'm saying! He great!

About the sweet nothings... there was a lot of whispering in this episode. There was a point where they were all watching Adam from behind two-way glass, Aidan Quinn, Watson, and Sherlock, and just whispering up a storm. Two-way glass is soundproof, right? Or was the perp on the other side sitting there thinking, "Is someone swishing around a rain stick on the other side of that mirror? What is going on?"

There was also a full spectrum of topless men last night, the hugely built and fantastically furry JLM bien sûr but also the serial killer appeared topless at a kitchen table in a back brace and it was pretty upsetting. Although, note to casting director/hair person: You did not pick enough of a weirdo for this serial killer. No offense to the actor (in fact, take it as a compliment!) but this is just not the face of a weirdo serial killler:

But you know who WAS weirding it up? Sherlock, who must have been given the direction, "You're not just a tweaker this episode, you're a tweaker on no sleep. Play it BIG!" If you've ever been around someone so exquisitely manic that they haven't slept for four days, you know that the body pulls on weird reserves of energy, making them increasingly jumpy and skittish until it's exhausting to be around them (I know from personal experience, long story, don't ask). In an attempt to capture both this energy and the Sherlock Holmes exactness and precise-itude, JLM was whipping around people and spinning on his heel like a nervous high school kid giving a cheeky presentation he'd worked on for way too long in front of a class. Just pure nerve. Well done, JLM, and also knock it off JLM! You're making me skittish.

Also, as much as I'm warming up to JLM's Sherlock, I fantasize from time to time about the roles of Sherlock and Watson being reversed and Liu playing a cold, icy, Sherlock to JLM's hunky Watson. Sigh! #fantasyseriesreset

So to sum: Aside from the regrettable content of the mystery, the way it was handled and the dynamic between Watson and Sherlock showed real growth and promise. As usual I had almost no patience with the actual B-story mystery going on, but the increasing detail involved in the mysteries and the actors, the characters, and their very cozy flophouse keep me coming back. Also are you THIRSTY GUYS?! Because there were no bees in this episode and don't even tell me tea = honey. Need to see wings and hear buzzing, people. Bet a coke would taste PRETTY GOOD RIGHT NOW but alas, no bees.

QUESTIONS:

1. Child murder: should procedurals steer clear?

2. Johnny Simmons: a young, male Meryl Streep?

3. How tall is JLM ?

4. Would you feel invigorated or collapse with exhaustion if you did 100 squats in a row?

5. Should stars being stalked by paparazzi fight back by spraying paint on the paparazzi's cameras?

Elementary "Child Predator" Photos


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