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With the very best holiday ever fast approaching (take a hike, Arbor Day/Grandparents Day!), it's time to start thinking seriously about what costume to wear this Halloween. Luckily, from drama to comedy to reality and beyond (...not that much beyond), television offers a plethora of excellent choices. Let's take a look:

This October 31st, why not be "the one who knocks" ...on doors for treats that is! At this point there are enough versions of Albuquerque's finest Chukka-booted drug lord to rival elements in the periodic table, but if we're talking just this past season, then fans have a few main iterations to choose from:

1. The flashforwarded, 52-year-old, scruffy-hair-having, black-frames Walt

2. The behatted, growly-ass Heisenberg Walt

3. The always welcome chemical-suit-and-facemask, "up in the cook," "Mr. White" Walt.

Whichever you pick, here's a tip: Instead of gluing on a fake goatee, just heat up a bag of fun-sized Three Musketeers in the microwave for about 22 seconds, stir the gooey contents in a bowl, sit on your hands, and consume that nougaty mix faster than an alley tweaker on a blue-hot bender. Instant facial hair!

All Hallow's Eve is the perfect time to be a fake person/creature/idea AND get political. Why not do some of that, and hit the streets as Homeland's Carrie Mathison. Simply slap on a pant suit, plug a finger in your ear, and stare down everyone in the vicinity like they are a secret terrorist (ESPECIALLY folks dressed as M&Ms;). For added realism, phone in an actual bomb threat to the same party you are at, then keep your cool while others scramble for safety. Stand on the couch and announce "remain calm citizens, I found the bomb: it's... ME!" If the host doesn't make you leave, then sidle up to the oldest person with a beard and whisper "That was a close one, Saul. That was a close one." (WARNING: You may never be invited to things again).

This quirksotic gal is a great choice for those who can only afford thrift-store costumes, OR for boring mainstream sorts looking for an excuse to get bangs/dress "indie." Either way Jess from New Girl is a simple charmer sure to please the room. IMPORTANT: The key to a convincing Jessica Day is her stunning peepers, however one should NEVER purchase used cosmetic contact lenses from any sort of thrift store, or person standing by a car, in order to change one's eye color—even if the lenses have been sterilized by soaking them in a glass of water that is sitting in the sun (beware eye fleas). Also, it is imperative to monitor one's adorkable levels throughout the night. If you find your head jammed inside a trick-or-treat pillowcase singing made up songs to candy, know that adorkability has reached dangerous levels and it is time to go home and draw a bath. Just remember to wash the towels!

Or how about "Honey Boo Boo" from the critically acclaimed Here Comes Honey Boo Boo? Ah, the diabetic cheeks that launched a thousand eyeballs (at the TV) and captured the heart of a rubber-necking nation. This charismatic pageant competitor/adorable victim of circumstance (nee Alana Thompson) is Halloween incarnate: flashy outfits, a biological make-up that is mostly sugar, and a day-to-day existence mirroring the unchecked wildness of the holiday. Plus, her nickname already has ghost words in it ("Boo!"). Simply whip up a bottle of "Go-Go Juice" (Mountain Dew and Red Bull), spray down a ballerina tutu with gold paint, pop on a sparkly cowgirl hat, and strut the streets like your parents lost track of your whereabouts five hours ago while eating Domino's Brownie Squares and "sketti."

Of course, no list would be complete without a costume option that is just scary as crap. Enter this dope-looking prison zombie from The Walking Dead's Season 3 premiere. All this nasty number takes is some prison blues and artfully applied neck gunk (like food-jelly). Do you know someone from prison? Are you allowed to buy strawberry jam? If not it's cool: just march into your nearest Lucky's supermarket and shoplift some fruity preserves, rub the stuff on your neck, then get arrested for said shoplifting. Go through the penal system and receive a free haircut (like this zombie), making sure to never wash off your fake wound. If necessary, lie about the neck-berries and say it is wet eczema. When the glorious day comes for your release, check the box that says "Yes, Would Like to Keep Prison Clothes Please" on the exit forms. Hopefully it is still Halloween when this happens and your made-up gash is still intact. If not, maybe a real zombie apocalypse has occured and you will have bigger things to worry about.

So gang, what TV character do YOU think will make the best Halloween costume this year?

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It takes a special breed of person to produce just ONE hit show, let alone a string of them over several decades. But for obvious reasons, television networks want each new series to be as much of a sure bet as possible. One of the best ways to ensure a hit is to work with producers who've created them in the past. The problem is, too often it seems like mega-producers get TOO MANY shows on the air, perhaps spreading themselves a bit too thin, and, if anything, become just as much of a crapshoot quality-wise as an untested young talent. So we say, take a break, you buncha billionaires! Let's get more untested fresh blood up in our TVs!

So if you were in charge of the universe, which mega-producer would you tell to take a break for a while? Here are at least six people who have no fewer than THREE shows currently airing (or coming up). Make no mistake, all of the people listed below are masters of the industry and respectively brilliant, but perhaps masters should concentrate doing a few things well and not bogarting primetime?

More or less the inspiration for this post just for the sheer number of series he'll be bringing to The CW—a network with only TEN hours a week to program, mind you—Josh Schwartz has in recent years begun to emphasize quantity over quality. Sorry, it just needs to be said. The O.C. was fantastic, Chuck had its charms, and then... well. Then he made more shows. A lot of them. Enough already?

Current Shows: Hart of Dixie (The CW), Gossip Girl (The CW)

Upcoming shows: Cult (The CW), The Carrie Diaries (The CW), Copeland Prep (The CW pilot), Losing Our Cool (Fox pilot)

Who could've predicted that one of the masterminds behind the Britney Spears film Crossroads would become one of the most powerful and prolific writer-producers in TV history? Well, Grey's Anatomy was a deserved hit (at first), but Rhimes' self-plagiarism at ABC started wearing thin a long time ago. Fortunately Scandal has turned into something of a treat, but there's a sizable contingent of viewers who MIIIIGHT have become fatigued by Rhimes' distinctive pretty-girl-sad-times style, you know?

Current Shows: Grey's Anatomy (ABC), Scandal (ABC), Private Practice (ABC)

Upcoming shows: Under the Gun (NBC pilot)

The best thing that can be said about Ryan Murphy is that he doesn't tend to repeat himself and for that reason he's undeniably made the TV landscape a better, more interesting place. But the most damning (and accurate) thing to say about him is that he has a crippling inability to quality-control. Whether it's how dramatically Glee or Nip/Tuck went from must-watch to must-avoid, there's definitely a consistency issue at Ryan Murphy Productions, and constantly generating NEW shows is not the best way mitigate it.

Current Shows: Glee (Fox), The New Normal (NBC), American Horror Story (FX)

Obviously the kinds of shows Jerry Bruckheimer produces aren't the most creatively thrilling ones on television, so nobody's demanding originality here. No, Bruckheimer's shows are mostly mindless, expensive diversions for people who just want to kick back after work. And that's fine! But after a while they've just become interchangeable and the sheer number of them has made TV a worse, more boring place.

Current Shows: CSI: Crime Scene Investigation (CBS), CSI: NY (CBS), The Amazing Race (CBS)

Upcoming Shows: Trooper (TNT pilot), Secret Lives of Husbands and Wives (NBC pilot)

Mark Burnett is in the franchise business. He doesn't just produce reality shows, he produces DOZENS OF SEASONS of reality shows. He's good at it (all the people on this list are brilliant businesspeople) but that doesn't mean we deserve the same old thing over and over. Even people who ASK for the same old thing over and over don't actually deserve it. Let's do better.

Current Shows: Survivor (CBS), Shark Tank (ABC), School Spirits (Syfy), Celebrity Apprentice (NBC), The Voice (NBC), Stars Earn Stripes (NBC)

Upcoming Shows: Romancing the Globe (USA pilot), The Bible (History miniseries), The Job (CBS pilot)

I'm guessing Chuck Lorre already owns several castles by now? Sir, please go chill in one of them. We'll be fine.

Current Shows: Two and a Half Men (CBS), The Big Bang Theory (CBS), Mike & Molly (CBS)

Haha, sorry guys! But real-talk: J.J. Abrams is NOT the surefire bet a lot of us may have once considered him to be. Maybe he's just too scattered with his thriving film career, but it's time to accept that the Bad Robot brand is no longer synonymous with quality. Alcatraz? Undercovers? And don't get me started on his newest Event TV dud Revolution. Mr. Abrams, you are cordially invited to take some time off, regroup, and come back only when you have the time to actually make these concepts actually worth our while.

Current Shows: Fringe (Fox), Person of Interest (CBS), Revolution (NBC)

Upcoming Shows: Untitled Robot Cops Project (Fox pilot)

POLL: WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING TV PRODUCERS
SHOULD TAKE A VACATION ALREADY?

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