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Those two kids who've been sitting around waiting for Ted to get to the point of his damn story received some great news today: The tale of how their dad met their mother will finally be told. CBS has ordered a ninth and final season of How I Met Your Mother, and yes, the network promises to reveal the identity of the mother before the series goes off the air for good.

The entire cast will be back for the send-off, as will creators Carter Bays and Craig Thomas.

The big question is when viewers will meet the mother. We know Ted meets her at Robin and Barney's wedding, which will take place at the end of the current season, but that doesn't necessarily mean we'll know her identity at the end of this season or the beginning of the next. She could be a bridesmaid, the caterer, the flower girl, the valet parker, or even a groomsman (it's the 2010s, people, get with the times!). Or, if you insist, the bass player in the wedding band. Or maybe Season 9 will be Ted having flings with half the women from the wedding and the identity of the mother will play out like some PBS mystery show. Maybe the mother is actually a test tube. I don't know.

Let's all just be happy that the nation's biggest question will be answered and Ted's kids can finally get on with their lives.

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BUSINESS TIME

... TNT has renewed legal dramedy Franklin & Bash for a third season, WAIT THIS SHOW IS GOING TO BE ON FOR AT LEAST THREE SEASONS? [TNT via press release]

... Elementary schooled (OMG I'm genius!) the competition last night in with its series premiere, winning the 10pm hour in its debut for CBS. The Sherlock rebootinization drew 13.4 million viewers, good for a 3.1 rating in the adult demo. The other big premiere of the night was ABC's Last Resort which stayed afloat (OMG I'm so good) at 8pm with 9.31 million viewers for a 2.2 rating, but that was to be expected since it's up against The Big Bang Theory and The X Factor. Yep, it's a terrible time slot for the Shawn Ryan show. [TV By the Numbers]

... If you are one of those unfortunate Dish subscribers who isn't able to watch AMC programming because two giant companies are squabbling over pennies, I'm sorry. But at least AMC is sticking one to Dish by live-streaming The Walking Dead's Season 3 premiere for Dish subscribers free of charge. Let's be clear about something: This fight needs to end for one reason only. To get rid of those stupid AMC ads where they constantly remind you that their shows are not available on Dish. [AMC via press release]

... AMC has renewed Small Town Security, its new reality show about a family and its security company, for a second season. You can't watch it on Dish. AMC has also ordered Road Show, another reality series about small-town talent shows. It will not be available on Dish. Let's face it, Dish sucks. [AMC via press release]

... NBC is developing a comedy called The Swamp, about a marching band in New Orleans. What's next? A comedy called The 'Walk about Prohibition-era Atlantic City? Or The Bayou, about vampires in Louisiana? Or News Time!, about a cable news channel program obsessed with bringing you the truth? You see where I'm going with this? Or Chicks, about a bunch of girls in New York? [Deadline Hollywood]

... Greg Kinnear might return to television to star in an adaptation of the Australian series Rake. The show follows a brash criminal defense lawyer who takes seemingly impossible cases. The show does not have a home yet, but I hear NBC is buying any pitch that starts with "It's about..." [Deadline Hollywood]

... Craig Ferguson has sold a couple comedy projects to CBS, where he hosts The Late Late Show. Both comedies are multi-camera and don't sound very interesting at all. One is about a group of 30-something dudes who want to stay single for as long as possible, and the other is about a former party animal who lives next door to his ex-wife. The lowest of low-concept television. [Deadline Hollywood]

... Friday Night Lights and Parenthood executive producer Jason Katims is working on a TV version of About a Boy, the 2002 movie starring Hugh Grant as a man who develops a relationship with a young boy. Not that kind of relationship, perv! NBC bought the project, because NBC just signed up for its 30,000th credit card. [Deadline Hollywood]

CASTING NEWS

... Joel McHale has signed on to host The Soup for at least two more years! [THR]

... Miley Cyrus might star in the Lifetime movie about Bonnie & Clyde as Bonnie. This is the same network that cast Lindsay Lohan as Elizabeth Taylor. Next up, Zac Efron as Abraham Lincoln and Justin Bieber as Carmen Miranda. [Deadline Hollywood]

... Ryan Murphy took to Twitter today to announce that Nicole Richie and George Takei will guest-star on his new comedy The New Normal, which makes me think that Takei has not seen this show. No official word on who they'll play, but my inside sources say they will play a skinny annoying woman and a Japanese man. [Ryan Murphy's Twitter]

... True Blood werepanther Lindsay Pulsipher (she played Crystal) will guest-star on Law & Order: Special Victims Unit. She'll recur as the younger sister of Amanda Rollins (Kelli Giddish). [TV Guide]

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EASY BUSINESS DECISIONS NEWS

... CBS has renewed Big Brother for a fifteenth season because hey, the house is already there and it's like totally impossible to sell in this market so why not use it to film a TV show that costs nothing to make but brings in money during the difficult summer months? [CBS via press release]

... Comedy Central figured it was probably a good idea to renew its number-one show, so Tosh.0 has received an order for 30 more episodes. In a similarly challenging business decision, the CEO of Comedy Central decided not to let a crate of poisonous snakes loose in the network's offices. [Comedy Central via press release]

BUSINESS TIME

... Tony Friggin' Soprano is coming back to HBO! The network has ordered the pilot Criminal Justice, starring James Gandolfini and based on the 2008 BBC series of the same title. The original followed a person charged with murder, changing the characters and case from season to season. The proposed first season of the HBO series would center on the first season of the BBC version, in which a man wakes up next to a party girl who's been stabbed to death. I hate it when that happens, pretty much takes up the rest of the day! [Deadline Hollywood]

... Netflix has picked up Derek, a new comedy project from Ricky Gervais. The series stars Gervais as a guy who works in a nursing home. Yes, Karl Pilkington will also appear, to make the senile old folks feel a little better about their mental faculties. Look for it next year. [NY Times]

... Bravo's Top Chef has a premiere date. The tenth season, taking place in Seattle, will debut November 7. But the bigger news is this: Toppest chef Wolfgang Puck is joining the series as a judge. [E! Online]

... If there is a pilot out there, NBC will pick it up. The network's latest acquisition is At Ease, a mockumentary-style comedy set at a military base in a desert country. At first this sounded stupid and then all of a sudden it sounded good. Happy Endings writers Josh Bycel and Jonathan Fener are behind the wheel, with Jerry Bruckheimer producing. [Deadline Hollywood]

... Fox has purchased a Chelsea Handler-produced comedy called My Inappropriate Life, from Handler's buddy Heather McDonald, a frequent performer on Chelsea Lately. McDonald would star in the single-camera comedy, based on her life with her stay-at-home husband (i.e. a man who is doing it right!), two boys, and stepdaughter. [Deadline Hollywood]

CASTING NEWS

... Starz's Magic City is beefing up its cast for Season 2. James Caan (Las Vegas) and Esai Morales (Caprica) are joining the cast, playing a Chicago mob boss and a Cuban freedom fighter, respectively. [Deadline Hollywood]

... Winning a gold medal is okay, but making a guest appearance on The Vampire Diaries? That's the moment of a lifetime! Gabby Douglas, a huge TVD fan first and Olympic gold-medalist second, will pop up on the show sometime next season. [Zap2It]

... Homeland is bringing in Amadeus Oscar-winner F. Murray Abraham for a recurring role. He'll play a CIA spy named Dar Adul. [EW]

... ABC's midseason conspiracy drama Zero Hour is adding Amy Irving and Ken Leung (Lost) to the mix of its weird Nazi zombie action. Seriously, this show is so ridiculous it has a chance to be awesome. [Deadline Hollywood]

... After dismissing the ladies of The View as a gaggle of "sharp-tongued" hens and vowing he'd NEVER go on the show again, Republican Party presidential candidate Mitt Romney (haha, Republicans) has agreed to visit the show's couch for a second time. Look for him to appear in October and then look for him to be crying a few hours later. [Deadline Hollywood]

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