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Castle S05E06: "The Final Frontier"

I don't know that there are enough nerdy superlatives out there to describe last night's Castle. "The Final Frontier" was pure, unadulterated, in-jokey fan service for sci-fi dorks everywhere. It was 44 minutes of non-stop references, sight gags, nods, winks, and whatever else to whatever cheeseball sci-fi you may have loved growing up. It was also quite possibly the dumbest episode of Castle since last year's zombie fiasco. However, in this case, I mean "dumb" as a compliment.

This is the kind of silly, silly, SILLY stuff I like when I watch Castle. Sure, it's hokey as hell, but now that Stana Katic has finally morphed from gruff straightwoman to willing goofball, the series has effectively become a showcase not just for Nathan Fillion's comedic talents, but for a bonafide comedy duo. My favorite thing by far this season is that Beckett's uber-tragic back story has given way to some honest-to-god quirkiness and a surprisingly game attitude for whatever Castle might be into this week. So when "The Final Frontier" brought Castle and company to a sci-fi convention, Beckett wasn't just standing around, grimacing at all the nerdspeak and cosplay. In fact, we learned that Beckett has her own nerdy history she's been covering up all these years.

Her past nerdiness pertained to a barely-seen fake sci-fi show called Nebula 9, a campy, Farscape-esque space series featuring an adult captain and a crew of cadets gallivanting around the galaxy as the last remaining remnants of humanity. Beckett apparently loved this show in college. So much so, in fact, that she used to dress up as one of the show's sexier stars. You can imagine how Castle might react to such a discovery.

Nebula 9 had been off the air for years, but a small, dedicated fanbase still kept up the cause, even going to the trouble of hiring the show's former captain (Eureka's Ed Quinn, clearly having the time of his life) to do a "fan experience" event, where fans could dress up as the cadets and act out a scene with the actor portraying their hero. Unfortunately, the experience was ruined when the body of the event's organizer was found on the set, with a giant laser hole through her chest.

Yes. A laser. Somebody shot this poor woman with a genuine laser, a revelation that both Castle and Beckett responded to with appropriate levels of confusion. Since when are phasers real? They're not, of course, but in the world of Castle, no nerd fantasy, no matter how ludicrous, can ever be out of the realm of possibility. So as we learned, the real-life phaser came from a local Bronx electrician, played by Star Trek: Deep Space Nine's Armin Shimerman. It turned out the guy had made himself a little business creating real-world versions of sci-fi weaponry. Everything from Klingon bat'leths to lasers that could actually blow a coaster-shaped hole in someone's chest. The liberal inside me was outraged by the thought of this unlicensed weapons manufacturing, but the nerd in me thought it was kind of the coolest thing ever.

Shimerman was just one of a few major sci-fi influences on this particular episode. Most notably Jonathan Frakes, Commander Riker himself, directed it, and even made a near-unrecognizable cameo as Richard Castle's number one fan. And then there was Quinn, hamming it up as actor Gabriel Winters as Captain Whatshisname from Nebula 9. It takes a lot of ham to out-ham Nathan Fillion, but Quinn pretty much did it. He was equal parts Tim Allen in Galaxy Quest and Troy McClure as he smirked his way through smarmy line after smarmy line. That he never broke down into some fit of self-loathing realization made his character even better. By the end of the episode, he was still bragging about threesomes with cosplaying fan girls—even the ones who gave him the clap.

The only knock I have against "The Final Frontier" is that throughout most of it, I could barely remember what was going on with the mystery. The positive side of that is that I was too busy laughing to care. And the ending did wrap things up in a wonderfully stupid way that I certainly was not expecting. And no, I'm not just talking about Stana Katic as the sexy alien cannibal. Though that was pretty good, too.

– While Beckett's nerdy past was something of a revelation, I doubt anyone out there was surprised to learn Ryan is a fantasy geek. I bet his D&D; games are hilarious.

– "I played a lawyer in a well-regarded film that never came out. I think I know something about the law." —Ed Quinn, killing it.

– Jonathan Frakes has only directed one other episode of Castle, all the way back in 2009. It was called "Kill the Messenger" and I barely remember it. This one I don't think I'll have much trouble remembering.

– Finding out Alexis enjoys cosplaying at sci-fi conventions was funny, but Castle's reaction to her wearing an outfit that highlighted her womanly curves was just about perfect. Their "conversation" about it later was similarly priceless.

– It's terrifying to me that our nation's gun laws haven't caught up with the recent surge in black-market laser pistols being used in violent crime. I urge you on this Election Day to vote for the candidate who will help stem the tide of laser-related violence in our country.

– The Stana Katic grumpy disappointment face (see above) forever. FOREVER.

Castle "The Final Frontier" Photos

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How I Met Your Mother S08E16: "Bad Crazy"

After several weeks' worth of mythology-advancing episodes, How I Met Your Mother is taking a breather from the tough stuff, instead opting for episodes like last week's ode to Robin Sparkles and Canada (which was one of the show's best episodes ever) and this week's journey through Crazyville, population Ted and Jeanette. If I were a betting man, I'd wager that we've arrived at the Season 8 episodes that were originally designed to slow down the story as HIMYM's writers awaited a verdict on whether or not the series would end this year. The massive information downloads we got a few episodes ago—that the Mother is the bass player in Robin and Barney's wedding band, and not Barney's half-sister—I'm pretty sure we got those pieces of the story just in case the show had to wrap everything up by May. But now that Season 9 is confirmed, the show can pause and figure out where it's going next.

That's the long way of me trying to say that tonight's episode "Bad Crazy," didn't lead to any earth-shattering revelations or inspire any game-changing new theories about how and when we'll meet the Mother. "Bad Crazy" was HIMYM humor at its best, though, with the gang just hanging out and ragging on each other (usually ragging on Ted).

Jeanette—Ted's final girlfriend before he meets the Mother—is crazy. The gang realizes this, and Ted does too. And even though Ted doesn't mind a little crazy at this point, Jeanette is full-on bonkers. She throws remote controls at TVs. She threatens hockey refs with death before games even begin. Unfortunately for Ted, he's never been good at initiating break-ups. When Barney and Marshall let Jeanette into Ted's apartment after he broke up with her, she locked herself in Ted's room, and in typical Ted fashion, he didn't quite end things, leaving the poor (crazy) girl with false hope that they were still together.

When the group pointed out to Ted that he had led Jeanette on, and Lily told him that he could use a crazy relationship at the moment, Ted returned to his room and fully embraced Jeanette's insanity.

It's a shame that Abby Elliott will only be around for a few episodes. I always thought she was underutilized on Saturday Night Live, and she was great in Jeanette's few scenes, effortlessly flipping between sweet-talking Ted to screaming obscenities at a television. While her time on HIMYM is limited, I hope this leads to something bigger for her. I also hope that the show finds a reason to put Jeanette and Lily's dad in a scene together, since Abby Elliott is the daughter of Chris Elliott, the actor who portrays Mickey. As we saw last week with Bob Saget acknowledging Dave Coulier's Full House reference, HIMYM isn't afraid to wink at the world beyond the show.

While Ted was dealing with Jeanette's home invasion, Robin had her own adventure with baby Marvin. It turns out that during the first eight months of Marvin's life, Robin never held him. We've always known that Robin is a bit squeamish around kids, but future Ted told us that she would one day warm up to them. It looked like Robin would have her chance when Lily left the baby with her so she could chase down a bus and retrieve Marvin's favorite binky, but as HIMYM would show us through a series of hilarious flashforwards, Robin didn't quite take advantage of the opportunity. We got a peek at Robin and Lily meeting to drink wine and catch up at four-, 12-, 14-, 16- and 17-year intervals, and in each instance, Robin revealed a new secret about the day Lily left her alone with Marvin. Long story short, Robin let a nice older woman hold Marvin to quiet him down, allowed Marvin to roll into the street in his stroller, brought him to a strip club to get him out of the cold, and finally left him alone with the woman while making a bathroom visit. Oh, and one more thing: It wasn't actually an older woman. It was Mike Tyson, or Senator Mike Tyson, as 2030 Lily would refer to him.

Did anyone get a look at Robin's left hand during those flashforwards? The show seemed to keep it hidden, and I'm not sure if that was on purpose or just how things worked out. I'm fully of the belief that Robin and Barney will go through with their wedding, but seeing a ring would've been a good way to settle once and for all whether they got married and were still married anywhere between four and 17 years in the future.

There are eight more episodes left in Season 8, meaning we're two thirds of the way through. Will HIMYM slow-play the final few episodes before finally revealing the Mother in the season finale? How long will Jeanette stick around before Ted finally manages to break up with her? He's going to need a date to Robin and Barney's wedding, right?

– Barney summarizing why Ted had to break up with Jeanette: "Cray-Cray gotta go bye-bye before you get stab-stabbed."

– Since Ted is the only member of the group who hasn't been in a relationship lately, Barney and Marshall have been using his apartment to stash items their significant others don't want in their own homes. These items include a vintage video game machine, a Boba Fett suit, a cotton candy machine, a moped, a horse, and a canoe that was somehow carried at both ends by Barney.

– Speaking of the Boba Fett suit, is there any chance Disney/Lucasfilm will consider Josh Radnor to play the infamous bounty hunter in the alleged spin-off Star Wars movie? He probably wouldn't be allowed to bring one of the swords from the apartment with him, though.

– After Superstorm Sandy, Ted stocked his bedroom with a ton of food and survivalist items, making it possible for Jeanette to hunker down there and possibly never leave. When Marshall and Barney mocked Ted for making those preparations, he pointed out the hypocrisy in what his friends were saying: "If this disaster had been a superstorm instead of a hot lunatic, you'd all be begging to eat my freeze-dried protein paste and crap in my biohazard bucket."

– Upon learning that Jeanette was actually a police officer (thus allowing her to intercept Ted's 911 call), Ted and Marshall launched into what's probably my favorite new joke of season so far: Ted and Marshall playing The Departed, a game that is pretty much just the two of them yelling "ARE YOU A CAWWWP" at one another in awful Boston accents. Unfortunately, Ted did not know that Jeanette was a cawwwp.

– Lily upon learning the secrets of Robin's day with Marvin: "You took my infant son to a strip club?" Robin: "It was just topless."

– I'm pretty sure Marvin was playing with a tassel while at the strip club. A baby has to entertain himself somehow, I guess.

– Barney: "What do I do for a living? There are some questions that we're not meant to know the answers to."

– While wearing Ted's red cowboy boots, Jeanette demanded to know why they were in Ted's bedroom: "Did Lily leave these boots here or was it some other bitch?" Oh, that's right—Jeanette thinks Ted is secretly in love with Lily.

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Those two kids who've been sitting around waiting for Ted to get to the point of his damn story received some great news today: The tale of how their dad met their mother will finally be told. CBS has ordered a ninth and final season of How I Met Your Mother, and yes, the network promises to reveal the identity of the mother before the series goes off the air for good.

The entire cast will be back for the send-off, as will creators Carter Bays and Craig Thomas.

The big question is when viewers will meet the mother. We know Ted meets her at Robin and Barney's wedding, which will take place at the end of the current season, but that doesn't necessarily mean we'll know her identity at the end of this season or the beginning of the next. She could be a bridesmaid, the caterer, the flower girl, the valet parker, or even a groomsman (it's the 2010s, people, get with the times!). Or, if you insist, the bass player in the wedding band. Or maybe Season 9 will be Ted having flings with half the women from the wedding and the identity of the mother will play out like some PBS mystery show. Maybe the mother is actually a test tube. I don't know.

Let's all just be happy that the nation's biggest question will be answered and Ted's kids can finally get on with their lives.

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What to watch on Monday, October 22...

Hey you! Yeah, you—the one with the bumpy, grumpy mad-face. Don't be bummed that it's Monday, because tonight brings with it the third and final presidential debate! Which, if you're into politics—hey, you get to watch a presidential debate tonight! And if you're not into politics—hey, after tonight there won't be any more presidential debates to mess with your TV lineup! Of course, baseball might still mess with your TV lineup. But hey, if you're into baseba—what? You just want to know what else is on tonight? Right. Okay:

8pm, The CW
90210
In "It's All Fun and Games," the gals get into some "irresponsible fun"... which appears to involve Adrianna encouraging Silver to do some kind of bungee-cord thing on the beach. Meanwhile, Alec smooches on Naomi. Oh, and there's also some detective asking about Vanessa's whereabouts. Ruh-roh!

SEASON 2 FINALE, 8pm, Syfy
Alphas
Fans of Summer Glau will get another dose of the actress in tonight's Season 2 finale of Alphas, "God's Eye," in which a desperate Dr. Rosen tries to track down Stanton Parish for some final words (intense!), all while suffering vivid hallucinations of his daughter. Meanwhile, the rest of the team members find themselves battling time in order to stop the immortal villain from carrying out his deadly plans (mwaahhahaha!).

SEASON 1 FINALE, 8pm, ABC Family
Switched at Birth
In tonight's season finale, "Street Noises Invade the House," Bay and Zarra find themselves in a dangerous situation. Meanwhile, the big trial with the hospital ends with a shocking conclusion and the relationship between Daphne and Jeff is revealed.

SEASON PREMIERE, 9pm, Logo
RuPaul's All Stars Drag Race
Many of your favorite queens in the history of RuPaul's Drag Race will return for the ultimate drag competition in tonight's premiere of RuPaul's All Stars Drag Race. Who's excited?

LIVE, 9pm Eastern/6pm Pacific, NBC, ABC, CBS, FOX, CNN, MSNBC, C-SPAN, PBS
Presidential Debates
The third and final debate! President Barack Obama and Republican presidential nominee Mitt Romney will square off one last time tonight at Lynn University in Boca Raton, Florida, so we can only assume there will be plenty of cringeworthy confrontation between the candidates to cap things off before voters head to the polls in November. "Face the Nation" host Bob Schieffer will moderate.

10:30pm, MTV
The Inbetweeners
In "Reading Gives You Wings," our boy Simon tries to school his girlfriend on her stealing habits. Meanwhile, Will organizes some kind of protest against the school library. And maybe something about Red Bull, if the episode title is any indication?

LATE-NITE HIGHLIGHTS:
Tom Hanks and Tony Bennett on Late Show with David Letterman, 11:35 p.m., CBS
Halle Berry and Ali Wentworth on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, 11:35 p.m., NBC
Gerard Butler, Madeleine Stow, and Wu-Tang Clan on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, 12:37 a.m., NBC
Bryan Cranston on The Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson, 12:37 a.m., CBS

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After six years of WTFs, OMGs, and a slew of unintentional LOLs, we'll be saying goodbye to Gossip Girl this season. Ten more episodes and this generation's defining teen drama will bid us adieu. Although I've had a tumultuous relationship with the show over the years (not unlike Chuck and Blair, though I don't recall being traded for a hotel), the last few seasons have featured more good than bad... so I'm (mostly) excited to see how this one ends. Here are some of the things on my personal wishlist for the final season, and I hope you'll share yours in the comments.

Or, to put it another way: Give Chace Crawford's Nate something valuable to do. Despite its long tenure on the air and all the hotspots the characters travel to, Gossip Girl's world is pretty small. And yet, the show too often makes it smaller by focusing on the messy love connections between Blair, Serena, Chuck, and Dan. While I totally understand that those characters are the driving forces, Nate has been stuck in one awful story after another, basically since Season 2. The good news is that his search for Gossip Girl is actually interesting.

And now that Bart is back, Rufus and Lily's broken marriage should provide Kelly Rutherford and Matthew Settle some quality material to work with. (It will probably also allow them to re-mine some of the story territory from the earlier seasons with a new spin, which could work).

The one thing that's always bothered me about Gossip Girl is that it never really feels like the drama matters. The characters always get over grudges—at least temporarily—and nothing has really ever changed that much. In the final season, with characters moving further into adulthood (though it's not like they ever finished college or acted like real kids anyway), it would be nice for certain events to have an impact on these people. I applaud the show for never killing off any major young character and I wouldn't suggest it now, but this is the final season. Give it some finality. Blair and Serena can't keep sprinting up to the precipice of never being friends again, only to begrudgingly kiss and make up. Chuck and Blair's erratic—some would say unhealthy—relationship needs to either stick or be completely blown up for good. No more half measures.

This point somewhat contradicts the last one, but Gossip Girl has become rather stuffy and stiff over the years. That happens to soaps like this because writers feel like they have to keep topping themselves by ramping up the melodrama, leading to an evaporation of the humor. While Gossip Girl has never been overly hilarious, the early seasons had a great sense of self-reflexivity about them. The show went from went from reinforcing and occasionally poking at the teen soap tropes to fully embracing said tropes.

Honestly, much of this stems from characters like Blair and Dan being stuck in dramatic love triangles. Those stories, while compelling in their own right, dried out some of Blair's fire and turned Dan from a sarcastic outsider into a fraudulent, hypocritical insider. Unsurprisingly, the awkward courtship between those two rekindled their—and the show's—comedic foundations.

This show has always done a fine job of casually discussing the influence of contemporary social media and celebrity culture, allowing the "character" of Gossip Girl to have a much longer lifespan than I ever imagined she would. In fact, I've greatly enjoyed the show's recent attempts to make GG a bigger force in the story (yes, even that weird period where "she" was, like, on vacation and Georgina took over).

So I think the show should explore that story more—Gossip Girl is just as much a core character as anyone else on the show, right?—and eventually reveal "her" identity. I don't know where that story could go, and it might end up being terrible, but GG's always been a big part of the show, "she" deserves a meaty story at the end of it.

But with that said, if Gossip Girl reveals that GG was actually one of the main characters all along—or worse, that she was like Vanessa or something—I'll be substantially disappointed. Even in the unbelievable reality that these characters inhabit, there's no diegetic way that the writers can convince me that GG was actually Chuck (or whomever) all along. Just don't do it. There have been enough swerves and hollow betrayals.

I'm all for celebrating the characters and the world in the final season but sometimes, trying to serve too masters doesn't necessarily work out for the best (sorry, Lost). While little callbacks and an occasional character return are both fine, Gossip Girl needs to focus on giving the core characters the send-offs they deserve.

On a related note, I would personally love it if the show never, ever flashed into the future in the finale. Josh Schwartz's O.C. finale mostly got away with it, almost solely on the charm of the cast. But other shows, like Dawson's Creek, had somewhat silly finales that spent too much time constructing false drama in "the future" that the audience knew was going to be solved anyway. Just let the story be the story, and let it end.

Everyone has their favorite character or allegiance, but it's become pretty clear that this is Blair's story in a lot of ways. It was her wedding in the 100th episode, it was her multiple love triangles that dominated much of the last two seasons, and frankly, she's the more interesting of the two female leads.

But a big reason for Blair's prominence in the story is that the writers have struggled to define who Serena is. She has always been a giant mess and in the early going, it seemed like her hyper-earnest demeanor and lack of self-awareness was going to turn her into an updated, more attractive version of Marissa Cooper. Yet in more recent seasons, and especially at the tail-end of last season, Gossip Girl allowed her to recognize and then embrace the truth: She's kind of the worst. She's just as manipulative and jealousy-driven as Blair, if not more, but regularly refuses to admit it. While her long-con against Blair might have gotten busted up in the finale, it was pretty cool to watch it unfold.

Nevertheless, the show has, at times, keyed in on these traits only to return to the "Serena is the important It-Girl" well. In the final season, the writers really need to make a choice: Does Serena admit her issues and really work to become Not the Worst, or does she double-down and embrace villainy? I'd love to see the latter happen just because it's different, but I'll happily accept the former. Again, the show should take a stand and stick with it.

Okay, I have one more biggie on my wish list that I'd like to share with you folks but I'm warning you right now that it is going to be controversial to a big portion of the audience. I wanted you to be prepared.

Here it comes.

Listen, I get it. People love the Chair. The show often suggests that it also loves the Chair. We've been told over and over about how they are this epic romance, destined to find one another time after disastrous time. But after six years and countless occasions of Chuck and Blair severely mistreating and damn-near harming one another, it's time to move on. There's a difference between not being able to let go of your first love and a pathological insistence on making yourself miserable by being with someone.

I don't care if it's Dan or Nate (LOL), someone new, or no one at all. But Blair needs to be with someone who hasn't traded her for a building, nearly physically assaulted her, and psychologically tormented her. I'm sorry, but choosing Chuck isn't a vote for epic love. It's a cry for help.

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Gossip Girl S6E01: "Gone Maybe Gone"

Welcome to the final season of Gossip Girl It-Girls and Lonely Boys. Although I enjoy the show quite a bit, I'm also under no illusions with regard to its existence in the grand scheme of television. I think it's best that we have fun with these reviews, so each week I'll be discussing the five* biggest points of the episode, almost like those Monday-morning stories you see about the NFL. Nothing like bringing teen soaps and sports together!

* I reserve the right to increase or decrease this number, depending on the episode. But five seems like a good place to start.

So let's get right into the last season premiere in Gossip Girl history, "Gone Maybe Gone," which was pretty good.

I'm all for the main characters having their own things going on but too often, they're in disparate places for extended periods of time, only stopping to deliver exposition to each other at the beginnings of episodes (see: at least half of Chuck and Nate's conversations from, like, ever). And really, Gossip Girl thrives when most everyone is together, either in the same space (parties, obviously) or as part of the same story.

That strength was on display in "Gone Maybe Gone" with everyone—Chuck, Blair, Nate, a disgruntled Dan and Georgina—searching for the missing-all-summer Serena. Even though it took a good while for everyone to actually get together, the dueling convoys of Chuck, Blair, and Nate and Dan and Georgina nicely provided differing opinions on what could have happened to S. Plus, the show always does road-trip stories really, really well.

Georgina has grated on me at various points in the GG's run, but she is always much more enjoyable when paired with Dan's exasperated straight-man (/tool) act. And once everyone actually arrived at Serena's location and attempted to break up her "wedding," the different plans allowed for multiple characters to quickly catch up with one another without the episode seeming too expositionary. Dan being slapped by Blair and Serena within a two-minute period was lovely.

"Gone Maybe Gone" is executive producer/co-creator Josh Schwartz's first official script credit since the Season 3 finale of Chuck in 2010 and boy, is it nice to have him back. When I compiled my wishlist for this last season, I called for a return of the show's stronger humor, and it seems that Schwartz had similar thoughts in mind when crafting this premiere with Stephanie Savage. "Gone Maybe Gone" certainly wasn't a laugh-riot or anything, but it featured a handful of really great comedic moments, many of which were fairly self-reflexive and meta (a strength of Schwartz's): the aforementioned Humphrey double slap, Chuck's update that the Ostroff Center (named for former CW president Dawn Ostroff) has now been renamed the Pedowitz Center (named for current CW president Mark Pedowitz), and Blair's insistence that Serena couldn't survive in the wilderness because she isn't "country strong" (an obvious nod to Leighton Meester's film career).

Gossip Girl needs comedy. Hopefully this continues all season.

After overdosing on the train, Serena did what she does: charmed her way into the life of a successful man (Barry Watson, playing a typically just-fine everyman). Only this time, she ditched the van der Woodsen glamour and pretended to be Sabrina, the Vassar student from Wisconsin. At first, I was ready to shrug and eye-roll my way through another silly "Serena lies to a love interest" story but the episode actually did something smart: It provided legitimate logic for Serena's decisions.

Her speech to the group about ditching her identity because they kicked her out (Blair), didn't want to see her again (Dan), and generally didn't have time for her anyway (Chuck, Nate) made a shockingly high amount of sense. And the "break-up" with Blair felt so real that I can't wait to be really angry when they're frenemies again in three episodes.

She's still a lying fraud, though.

I have to hand it to Schwartz, Savage and the rest of the Gossip Girl team. Last season, showrunner Josh Safran spent an entire year toying with the idea of Blair and Chuck (part XXXIV) or Blair and Dan or Blair and Louis before ultimately and predictably deciding on the first pairing (again). But even though Safran is oversteering Smash into the watery abyss where it belongs, Gossip Girl has wasted no time coming up with a ridiculous reason to keep epic (fail) lovers Blair and Chuck apart and suggesting that her thing with Dan might not yet be DONE-done.

Again, I sort of like the logic the show put forth for why Chuck can't give into Blair yet, because it's true: He can't be an immature boy forever. However, the fact that he can't manage his crusade against his father and his feelings for Blair at the same time and the fact that she can't see how much Dan cares for her (you know, because he only tells her all the time) is baffling. How long before Chuck hooks up with another woman (probably the one from Dubai helping him take down Bart)? Three episodes?

It takes a certain kind of moxie to wipe away the substantial resolution you built to in your previous season finale without really undoing anything. It's silly but awesome.

Despite all their posturing, the show still wants us to view Blair and Serena as inherently good, admirable characters. And outside of Chuck (sometimes), the men are sometimes wet blankets as well. So it's always good when Gossip Girl allows someone to come in and stir the pot. The diminishing return that is Georgina has started to swing back the other way, but Ivy's scheming against Lily in this episode was entertaining. Seducing Rufus wasn't quite OMG- or WTF-worthy, but it accomplished multiple things: 1.) It gave Rufus something (well, someone) tangible to do, 2.) It kicked off Ivy's anti-Lily campaign with a bang (literally), and 3.) It ruined Dan's 2012. That's what we like to call a win-win-win.

What'd you think of the episode? What's on *your* list of the most important moments from "Gone Maybe Gone"?

Gossip Girl "Gone Maybe Gone" Photos

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You know how I feel about TV posters, but I'm going to make an exception for this one promoting the final season of Fringe because IT'S THE FINAL SEASON OF FRINGE!

As you already know, the bulk of Season 5 is reportedly going to take place in 2036, the same year the Season 4 episode "Letters of Transit" was set in. In that episode, our Fringe Division agents were reduced to babysitters for the human race as the Observers took over the world and established authoritarian rule. But there's a band of humans out there who don't want to bow before bald guys...

Coincidentally (or maybe it was fate!), I re-watched "Letters of Transit" last night, so my brain is still swimming and looking for clues. Aside from a few glyphs (the apple, Mr. Six Fingers), I'm not sure there's too much to read into in the image above. There's our freedom fighters Peter, Olivia, and Walter graffiti-arted onto a wall in 2036 while Observers carry on with their lives en route to the local hot-sauce bar.

However, I'm guessing we can assume that this is our first look at 2036 Olivia, since she was absent from "Letters of Transit." Is she wearing a leather jacket? Or is that denim? Fashion-forward Olivia, I like it! Correct me if I'm wrong, but we still don't know if Olivia was caught in amber like Walter, Peter, Astrid, and William Bell. So she could have aged. If you squint your eyes and throw some Tabasco in them, the image of Olivia does look like she could maybe possibly be a little older. The last time we saw her older was in the Season 3 finale, "The Day We Died," when Peter flash-forwarded 15 years, and let's just say Anna Torv aged well. Maybe she was ambered for less time than the others and thawed out early, making her age a bit? Hey, I'm just throwing things out here.

For comparison, here's a screenshot of Old-livia from the Season 3 finale.

Fringe's fifth and final season debuts September 28 at 9pm on Fox.

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Remember the days when you couldn't throw a beet without hitting someone who was 'shipping so hard for Jim and Pam, they actually hated Rashida Jones? Or who proudly displayed a Dundie on the mantle? Or who (un)ironically punctuated every sentence with "That's what she said?" Actually, that last one you might still be doing. She says so much crazy stuff!

America had The Office-mania. I mean, we didn't trust the show's cast to guide us through a popular operating system or anything but, darn it, we came close. You couldn't enter the vicinity of a Target dollar bin without seeing Dwight Schrute mugging from a stack of cocktail napkins. Though the fervor may have cooled some (those napkins are still sitting on a shelf at the Dollar Tree if you're still into that), it's sad to see The Office move into its final season knowing we'll have to say goodbye to (most of) these characters we've been hanging out with for nearly a decade. Make no mistake: It's time (and it might have been time last season), but it's still a little sad.

Although I can say Season 8 was better than the three or four before it, I have some advice for show in Season 9. It's not that I don't trust The Office. But I don't trust The Office. Allow me to offer a few suggestions that should help its producers and writers close down such a classic series with class.

DON'T explore every permutation of intraoffice coupling.

Just because it's the last season, doesn't mean we need to see everyone trying to mount everyone else before the end. This isn't an animal documentary on husbandry. This isn't Friends (seriously, how close did we get to Ross and Monica at least considering it?). We don't need to see what it might be like if Angela fell for Gabe or Kelly got down with... Gabe? I guess we've already explored a lot the permutations, so let's leave what's left to the slash-fic writers. I mean, there are already built-in arcs to tie up: Andy and Erin, Dwight and Angela, Darryl and Val. We don't need an increase the office incest. Stick to how the show established itself, men and women breaking through obstacles to find the loves of their lives. Speaking of which...

DO let us fall in love with Jim and Pam again.

You may or may not agree but, just like when your IRL friends get married, the Jam marriage made these two once-crazy kids bland. Seeing the couple become parents may have interested us a little, but the ultimate consummation of their soulmate nature stole a piece of the show. Obviously, no one would have survived 'shipping them for nine seasons, but maybe it's time to shake things up in the Halpert house. An affair, real or imagined? We need a test that will bring these two to the brink and remind us of why they (and we) fell in love in the first place.

DON'T make me watch more scenes in a maternity ward.

The people at the Scranton branch of Dunder-Mifflin spend entirely too much time in the hospital and the only time it was halfway enjoyable was when Michael hit Meredith with his car. Besides, we don't need any more babies. No surrogates, no adoptions. Babies are not an option. Think harder.

DO make a wedding interesting if you insist on having one.

Andy and Erin getting married in the final act of the series is not interesting. Same goes for any potential marriages between any of the other cast members (Ryan and Kelly, maybe? Would that be weird?). I understand the temptation: Shakespeare comedies end in a wedding. But Shakespeare comedies don't last nine years. The only one that would maybe be worthwhile would be Jim and Pam renewing their vows after a hardship. Otherwise, keep these kids out of a church. I'll let you slide with a Michael/Holly wedding, but you're pushing it.

DON'T make Todd Packer your Janice.

The problem with Janice on Friends was that she lost her appeal as an antagonist by the time we realized Chandler and Monica were pretty much together forever. Annoying, for sure, but tired as a joke. Todd Packer is most effective when Michael Scott is around and, since Michael left, Packer has been used sparingly (I loved him in the Tallahassee arc from Season 8). Let's keep it that way. Small doses.

DO bring people back with style.

That being said about Packer, I want to see people return in a way that doesn't seem forced. Asking people to come back for a big event (a wedding, a funeral, a reunion, etc) seems as cheap as a clip show to me. Scrubs laid it on thick by having JD literally walk down a hallway filled with guest stars and then showing an epilogue soundtracked with Peter Gabriel. Bill Lawerence, you bastard. I'd rather see characters come back and shake things up for the Scranton Branch, not just show up for a quip and drop out. Don't get lazy.

DON'T show me who is making the documentary.

I know it's been announced that we'll meet the crew this season but I'm saying this anyway, just in case it's not too late. I don't care if the mastermind is Werner Herzog. I don't want to see it. Do not walk into temptation!

DO make the result of the documentary available.

After nine years of footage, I hope it's, like, seven minutes long. And only a minute of it actually has to do with a paper company. It's a commercial for the Scranton Board of Tourism. Yessssssss.

What about you? What do you want to see in the final season of The Office?

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Lost Girl S02E22: "Flesh and Blood"

All season long, Lost Girl has been doing a really good job of building up suspense. The Garuda has been a threat for several months now, so last night I was just about dying to see what would happen.

If I hadn't been so excited, maybe I'd be less disappointed right now.

The rational part of my brain realizes that "Flesh and Blood" was a perfectly serviceable episode that didn't make any big mistakes. But I'm sorry, when you spend months getting me all hyped up to find out how Bo will defeat the Garuda, my expectations are gonna be high. So let's break down the small mistakes that made Lost Girl's Season 2 finale such a "meh" episode.

First off, the problem with having the big, bad villain wait to make his move is that you really have to give him a reason why. Even a bad reason! After months of waiting, the Garuda had his shadow minion just show up at the Dal one day and whisk Trick away. He could have done this at any point in time! He could have even gotten REALLY clever, and taken him when Bo wasn't around! Had he done that, she wouldn't have known Trick was gone until too late, and the show would be called Lost Garuda by now.

"Life is hard when you don't know who you are. It's even harder when you DO know, and that thing is a fiery, soul-sucking bird of DOOM!"

Hmmm, doesn't have quite the same ring to it.

It was awfully lucky that Bo not only knew Trick was gone, but that he had also JUST discovered where the Garuda was hiding. How convenient! And since she had just assembled her team and thought of a way to keep them all together (injecting them with her blood to make them supernaturally loyal to her), they were all set to go! Except that Hale's sister Val, who we met in "The Girl Who Fae'd With Fire," showed up, too. I was happy to see her because she seemed like a pretty cool character... but then she didn't do ANYTHING! Think about it, all episode, what did she do? Okay, sure, she helped out with the Berserkers. All, like, FOUR of them.

Here's another complaint: I know stunt men are expensive, but if you don't have enough minions to fight off it kind of looks like your evil lord is strapped for cash. No one is scared of Doctor Frugal or Master Coupon Cutter. Speaking of low budget, it was awesome that they decided to set the season finale in an abandoned mental institution. It was significantly less awesome that it looked like it could have been ANY abandoned building. When you say things like "abandoned mental institution," I expect to see something terrifying. When I get a generic warehouse instead, it's disappointing. Plenty of other shows have done far more on what was likely a smaller budget, just saying.

Despite being outnumbered, the Berserkers still managed to seriously wound Kenzi. She was unconscious and in bad shape. So Hale used his siren abilities to... I feel stupid just typing it... sing at a frequency that could cauterize the wound. Yep. That happened. Pretty sure that was a decision the writers' room made at 2am the night before their deadline.

Writer 1: "Okay, looks like we're done... wait! On page 40 Kenzi is dying, and on page 41 she's fine!"
Writer 2: "Just have Hale heal her with his voice."
Writer 3: "But that doesn't make any sense!"
Writer 2: "Whatever! I'm tired!"

... That's my guess at how that scene came to be.

While Bo and her friends fought their way through what could easily have been a warehouse against fewer people than it takes to run a laundromat, the Garuda tried smooth-talking Trick into rewriting the Fae laws. He showed Trick a vision of when he wrote the laws in the first place. According to the Garuda (WHO IS OH SO TRUSTWORTHY), the Light and Dark were just about to unite to kill Trick anyway, so Trick didn't have to write the laws to save the Fae, he had to write them to save himself. The Garuda's solution was for Trick to unwrite the laws so the Light and the Dark could come to peace naturally. Okay, come on. Even if the Light and the Dark had something they could agree on eleventy-jillion years ago, it doesn't mean they do now. And this suggestion for peace came from someone who feeds off of chaos. Despite the Garuda's poor debate skills, Trick was just about to write with his blood when Bo busted in and pointed out that he was being an idiot. But it was too late. The Garuda's argument had weakened Trick to the point where the Garuda could possess him.

That, I admit, was pretty cool. It also made Nadia's death more meaningful, because Bo and Lauren were able to use what they'd learned from Nadia's possession to defeat the Garuda. Lauren had determined that when Nadia was possessed there was Fae DNA in her blood. So that meant there was some amount of Garuda in Trick, enough that Lachlan's venom could kill him. So they did that, it worked, and we got a pretty neat little animation of a fiery snake battling a fiery bird. Trick died in the process, but Bo brought him back with his wife's life essence. Trick had given it to Bo to use on herself if the whole soul-binding thing turned her evil, but she decided to use it on him instead.

All in all, it was a mostly mediocre episode. But at the end of the day, this season finale did exactly what it was supposed to do; in my opinion, it's more important for a finale to get you pumped for next season than it is to wrap up the threads of the current one. In that respect, "Flesh and Blood" succeeded. Bo is totally turning evil, since she didn't take that life essence. Last week's episode left me wondering what villain could possibly give Bo more of a fight after she finished with the Garuda. What's more powerful than the Garuda? Bo herself.

And what was that on Kenzi's arm? Must be from the bottle that fell on her at the Norn's last week, right? I'm really curious to find out what that was, and how she'll deal with it.

Finally, the love triangle: Bo hasn't really had to deal with the Lauren-or-Dyson decision much this season. Until recently Dyson wasn't able to love her, then Lauren had Nadia around. Next season looks like an all-out battle for love! Though Dyson and Lauren may both be less into her once she starts turning mega-evil. Though maybe not! We shall see!

Questions:

– Are you Team Dyson, Team Lauren, or Team Both?

– How many Berserkers does it take to properly guard an abandoned mental institution?

– What do YOU think is up with Kenzi's arm? Wild guesses are not only welcome, they're encouraged!

– Will you be watching next season?

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So You Think You Can Dance S09E14: "Finalists Perform"

Well, it was finals week over at So You Think You Can Dance HQ, and much like the finals weeks at high schools and colleges around the nation, certain people began celebrating early while other people still had to study. The weird combination of high-pressure drama and tantalizingly imminent celebration made for one of the most exciting, bizarre, and fun-filled episodes of the season (and possibly of the series' entire run). Not a single performance (each person danced five times!) was less than amazing, and we saw sides of the dancers we hadn't seen all season. Plus, because this was the last performance before America voted, there were no eliminations—and therefore the judges had to do little else but sit back, opine, and act as silly as they felt like!

Plus some momentous things happened. Specifically: BALLET!

How had it taken this long for the season to give us a ballet performance? The pairing of Eliana and Chehon was a no-brainer! I'm not sure choosing the Nutcracker Suite was the best decision (what a cliché!) but Chehon's outfit WAS THE BEST DECISION. Sorry, not trying to be vulgar but WHAAAAAT OKAY. If we're being honest, this episode was HECKA beefcakey, up to and including Cyrus and tWitch's Animation routine:

I mean, I don't know how I didn't notice this before, but has tWitch always looked like a pro wrestler? Between this posedown and Chehon's inability to wear shirts (or the frequent presence of unlikely hunk Alex Wong [!]), I'm not sure there's ever been a season of SYTYCD where the dudes' physiques were on full display so frequently. This season has been very enjoyable! But I can definitely see why the show would need to balance out all the beefcake with an all-ladies pole dance routine. Just keeping things fair!

Anyway, this episode, am I right? So many good things.

There's never been a harder episode for which to determine ONE standout performance, but perhaps for novelty's sake, I think Eliana and Tiffany's burlesque routine was the most memorable and impressive:

I don't know about you, but I kept worrying they'd accidentally bump heads! I've never pole danced (it looks like a nightmare to me) but it can't be easy to learn a routine like this and execute it as flawlessly as these ladies did. Plus, hubba hubba, am I right fellas?

Because I was struggling to decide between two routines, I'll just point out the other one I liked, this Chehon-and-Allison Stacey Tookey contemporary number.

While I'm a sucker for dancers macking out on-stage, I think what I loved about this so much was how Tookey actively incorporated Chehon's ballet skills and turned it into a much better showcase for the amazing things he can do. Tookey's an ace choreographer, but something about this just felt elevated, you know?

Finally, how could I not embed the ballet piece?

Mesmerizing.

Unfortunately I think MY preferences may not be the same as America's, but here goes: I hope Eliana and Chehon win. I love Cyrus and Tiffany, but something about the ballerina/os just gives me a thrill when I watch them. Last night more than ever Chehon proved he's versatile in almost any genre and has a surprisingly strange personality to boot; he's definitely proved himself to be more than the serious, classy, very European technician he first appeared to be.

In what was either heartwarming or extremely awkward, Nigel ended up telling the dancers to their faces who HIS preferences were: Eliana was not only his favorite dancer of the season but also of ANY season. And in an assessment that would seem to conflict with that statement, Nigel also said that Chehon was his favorite dancer of the season and Cyrus was his favorite person of the season. Tiffany was the only one left without hyperbolic endorsements, but hopefully she won't take it too personally (her individual journey apparently included a lot of fretting about how much camera time she was given).

Anyway, it's heartening that ALL FOUR of these contestants would make deserving winners. Regardless of who wins, nothing will seem like an outrage, and that's a good thing. I'll admit that the guys are much more exciting for me this year than the girls, but that might be because of how nonstop thrilled I was by the Melanie-Sasha showdown of last year. That finale was electrifying, for real. But I think this season may have had a better overall cast, so it all evens out.

Film director Rob Marshall (Chicago, Nine, Pirates of the Caribbean 4) returned for Season 9 and brought his positive, articulate, experienced feedback with him. It probably helped that no real negative criticism was given out all night, so Marshall could simply just praise the dancers in a genuine-seeming way. Although he did awkwardly try to connect one of Sonya Tayeh's routines to an observance of 9/11, he made up for it later by cracking a Queen Latifah joke following the ladies' pole-dancing number. (And it was pretty classy how he never explicitly bragged that he'd directed the Oscar-winning movie from which that particular song came.) All in all, he made a great guest judge, but I can't help but wish we'd seen more choreographers on the panel this season. Maybe we should just all put that on our Season 10 wishlists.

... Honestly, you'd think these dancers weren't having the most stressful, trying weeks of their lives based on the heightened amount of silliness that abounded behind the scenes. Or maybe that's just how they handle stress?

... Not much to say about Parisian dancer Jean Sok's routine except WOW:

... Matching Power Rangers T-shirts? I think I'm in love.

... Hey Jennifer Beals!

... I hope I never hear the phrase "quirky Tyce Diorio routine" ever again.

What was YOUR favorite routine of the night? Who do YOU think should win Season 9?

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