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What to watch on Monday, October 15...

OMG, run! Tonight's TV pickings are about to eat you alive! What? Oh, wait. False alarm. Gotta excuse me, I'm still thinking about zombies. Alright, let's do this again: It's Monday, so let's ease you into the day with tonight's TV pickings because you deserve it.

8pm, ABC
Dancing with the Stars: All-Stars
On tonight's DWTS,the world-famous choreographer Paula Abdul will pull up a seat at the judges' table as a special guest for one special night to critique the remaining All-Star couples. Do you think Kirstie Alley and her partner Maksim Chmerkovskiy will remain in the competition despite their low scores?

8pm, Syfy
Alphas
Two more episodes left until the Season 2 finale, guys! In tonight's "Need To Know," the team is worried about how far Rosen is willing to go to get revenge for his daughter's death when he kidnaps an Alpha prisoner. Meanwhile, Harken and Gary search for Skyler, played by Summer Glau. Summer Glau!

9:30pm, CBS
Mike & Molly
Family planning is in the works! In "Molly and the Middle," Mike and Molly talk about trying to have a baby, and Carl finds out that Molly is still hanging out with Christina after their breakup. Will Christina mess with Mike and Molly's decision to get pregnant? Tune in tonight!

10pm, NBC
Revolution
In "Soul Train," Miles, Charlie, and the rest of the gang continue their search for Danny, however, a shocking discovery will prevent them from ever finding him. Does this shocking discovery have anything to do with Don Cornelius (bad joke)? Meanwhile Nora, who's battling against the militia, connects with a rebel. How many of you think Danny will be saved in tonight's episode?

10pm, Sundance
The Mortified Sessions
Anyone watching this? Hosted by David Nadelberg, the series is centered on discovering the most mortifying stories of some of Hollywood's most creative personalities. Tonight, Community actress Gillian Jacobs and comedian Marc Maron get personal about their childhood years. Here's a sample tidbit from tonight's show, courtesy of Jacobs: "The elementary school called my mom and said, 'Gillian has no friends and she's talking to herself on the playground, so you have to get an extracurricular activity.' So that's how I started acting, because she signed me up for an acting class."

LATE-NITE HIGHLIGHTS...
Kaley Cuoco on Late Show with David Letterman, 11:35 p.m., CBS
Ben Affleck and Octavia Spenceron Tonight Show with Jay Leno, 11:35 p.m., NBC
Aziz Ansari and Alana "Honey Boo Boo" Thompson with June "Mam" Shannon on Jimmy Kimmel Live, 12 a.m., ABC
Daniel Craig and Archie Panjabi on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, 12:37 a.m., NBC
Jeff Goldblum and Sarah Paulson on The Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson, 12:37 a.m., CBS

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What to watch on Monday, September 3...

Happy Labor Day to my American kin! I hope you're not reading this from the office. I hope you're reading this from your smartphone while downing a hotdog somewhere. If you're in LA, I'm imagining you chillin' with an umbrella drink on an inflatable raft in the middle of the pool at your friend's boss's Beverly Hills mansion (because your friend's boss happens to be out of town). If you're in Chicago, I'm thinking you're at a block party and somebody just loosened the neighborhood fire hydrant. Ultimate sprinkler party! If you're in NYC, I'm thinking of you on a Brooklyn rooftop next to a kiddie pool and a Weber grill. And everywhere else, well, just make sure there's a grill and acces to running water nearby. Here's what's on TV tonight:

SEASON FINALE, 8pm, NBC
Stars Earn Stripes
It's the Season 1 finale and as such the episode that determines which team will take home the winning title this year. The celebrities will be confronted with a surprise shoot-out and follow-up instructions to return stolen intelligence from a neighboring (not-so-friendly) village. But that's not all, folks! They'll also repel from a helicopter, escape from a battleship, and then if they manage to complete the challenges without DYING, will stand tall and present as the winning squad is named.

FALL PREMIERE, 8pm, ABC Family
Switched at Birth
It's been, oh, six months since we've caught up with one of the most complicated dysfunctional families to his the small screen, and fall season premiere, "This Is the Color of my Dreams," Bay finally returns from her journey abroad—and instead of bringing back gifts, she's bringing home a new boy! A gift for her is still technically a gift, I guess. Of course, this forces her to confront her issues with Emmett and Angelo. Also, Daphne searches for a job, looking to Kathryn for help, and Regina decides whether or not to accept her marriage proposal. OooOOoo!

SEASON PREMIERE, 9pm, Travel
Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations
My personal favorite when it comes to TV travel guides, the king of narrative prose and witty banter (when it comes to all things food-related, anyway) is back for his ninth and final season. Tear. He kicks it off in Austin, Texas at the infamous SXSW Festival where he'll hang with Sleigh Bells (the band, not the thing) as he explores the city's strangest food joints. Ever heard of offal tacos and dove enchiladas? You will after tonight!

10pm, NBC
Grimm
This one's kind of like the movie Outbreak, but more monster-y. In "Quill" Nick is exposed to a highly contagious disease carried by Wesens while he investigates an accident—and Monroe and Rosalee discover the disease, too, but unfortunately for them it's because an infected creature will confront them face-to-face. Meanwhile, Captain Renard gets word that a dangerous international fugitive has just landed in Portland. Perhaps the Wesen disease could be of some service under this particular circumstance?

10pm, TNT
Perception
In "Kilimanjaro" (that word is SO much fun to say!) Moretti and Piece look into the death of a female college student, but the case cuts too close to home for Pierce, who's forced to confront demons from his past as he searches for answers about the murdered girl. Moretti faces a personal problem of her own, though far less dark than Pierce's as she must decide what to do with her relationship with Dr. Hathaway.

PLUS ALL NEW EPISODES OF...
Bachelor Pad, 8 p.m., ABC
Hotel Hell, SEASON FINALE, 8 p.m., FOX
Little People Big World: Down Under, 8 p.m., TLC
Love & Hip Hop Atlanta, 8 p.m., VH1
Obama Revealed: The Man, The President, SPECIAL, 8 p.m., CNN
Switched at Birth, 8 p.m., ABC Family
The L.A. Complex, 8 p.m., The CW
WWE Monday Night Raw, 8 p.m., USA
American Chopper, SEASON PREMIERE, 9 p.m., Discovery
American Pickers, 9 p.m., History
Border Wars, 9 p.m., NatGeo
Blood, Lies, & Alibis, 9 p.m., Investigation Discovery
Coma, SEASON PREMIERE, 9 p.m., A&E;
Love It or List It, 9 p.m., HGTV
Major Crimes, 9 p.m., TNT
T.I. and Tiny: The Family Hustle, SEASON PREMIERE, 9 p.m., VH1
The Real Housewives of New York City, 9 p.m., Bravo
United Bates of America, 9 p.m., TLC
Bad Girls Club: Mexico, 10 p.m., Oxygen
Call of the Wildman, 10 p.m., Animal Planet
Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives, 10 p.m., Food
Fast N' Loud, 10 p.m., Discovery
Gallery Girls, 10 p.m., Bravo
Grimm, 10 p.m., NBC
Locked Up Abroad, 10 p.m., NatGeo
Pawn Stars, 10 p.m., History
Perception, 10 p.m., TNT
Ridiculousness, 10 p.m., MTV
Stolen Voices, Buried Secrets, 10 p.m., Investigation Discovery
House Hunters International, 10:30 p.m., HGTV
The Inbetweeners, 10:30 p.m., MTV
Get To Work, 10:30 p.m., Sundance

LATE-NITE HIGHLIGHTS...
It's Labor Day! All our favorite late show hosts are on vacation. You should be, too!

What are you watching tonight?

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Just as the sun rises and sets, the moon urges us to harvest, and the planet hurtles ever onward through cold space into some unknown oblivion, the Survivor franchise carries on with predictable verve. This fall's 25th season (!) finds the various sand-encrusted babes 'n himbos walking the shores of the Philippines as they all engage in the most attractive emotional warfare HD has to offer. This week CBS unveiled its new slate of newbies (three returning players will be announced later) and it contains a few surprises! Who could've ever imagined that Blair from The Facts of Life would one day be swatting flies away from her face on national television? (The national television aspect being the shocker here.) But Lisa Whelchel isn't the only previously famous Survivor cast member; for those of you who watch some thing called "base ball," you might be thrilled to know that retired MLB player Jeff Kent will be struttin' his boardshorts in your living room pretty soon!

But let's not get ahead of ourselves: The whole gang is worth a gander. It's snap judgment time! Check out our first impressions in the gallery below, which includes completely gratuitous swimwear photos. Just keeping the viewers informed!

Survivor: Philippines Cast Photos

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