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Parenthood S04E05: "There's Something I Need to Tell You"

"I feel really far away."

Well, it all came out last night, didn't it?

You wouldn't think anyone in the realm of Braverman would have anything left to get off their chest since it's in their blood to talk about their emotions all the time (the writers probably have the words "I feel" recorded as a macro in Final Draft) but everyone let it out this week, either to themselves, to other people, or to a group. So many bombs to drop, so little time.

It was the second episode this season with a title drawn from something Kristina said when discussing her health and, with wording like that, you'd expect for the biggest bombshell to be hers. And it was. Cancer is still the ultimate in one-upsmanship. But the first volley belonged to Sarah and the slowly eroding Hank.

Hank! It happened in the teaser and I wasn't ready. I'd just slowly recovered from an early powerful scene between the two supernovas of Season 4, Monica Potter and Mae Whitman, when we got what I thought was going to be a breather scene before cutting to some pre-credit cliffhanger. Then I sensed it coming. They were close. Too close. He looked like he wanted to. But he didn't. Then he did! Hank knocked Sarah a kiss, and she didn't immediately pull away or start laughing or even show mild distaste. Not that you'd expect her to.

It seemed sudden but it wasn't. We're five episodes deep in Season 4, which seems like only a handful of installments to draw this thing out but we've also already gone through most of the motions possible for Hank and Sarah. They've met each other's kids, they've spilled about their darkest relationships, they've been vulnerable, and they're clearly in each other's heads. Drawing it out any more than that would feel like overkill. Hank and Sarah aren't supposed to be Sam and Diane, Maddie and David, or even Chuck and Sarah.

And so the dilemma isn't "will they or won't they"—it's "what happens when they do?" From the first episode of the season, everyone knew that Hank would be a player in Sarah's suddenly tenuous romantic life, but the question was more about what she would do with that information once she came to terms with it. Her answer: rededicate herself to her fiance by sending up red flags all over the place. From the look on Mark's face, she's not fooling anyone.

Speaking of people fooling themselves, Julia landed the next big bombshell, though one that's been dormant for a while. The matter of Julia's involvement with her child (and now children) with respect to how much she works was a question in earlier seasons, but it mostly had to do with how Joel feels about being a stay-at-home dad or her connection to Sidney. These things generally worked out for her, where everyone caved and she got to not change at all. Within the span of an episode, though, Julia spun out of control.

The beautiful part of how we watched Julia collapse on herself like a dying star was how honestly it happened in such a short amount of time. She was given the first scene to demonstrate that something was terribly wrong. She had another couple of scenes where she showed how stressed she was and how close she was to breaking before heading into a rare stylized moment for the show. Julia's panic attack marks one of the few times I can recall where the image is anything less than stable, picturesque, and constructed for melodrama or comedy. Chaos is not a popular look for Parenthood. And while I'm not sure it stands up to similar exhibitions of that sentiment (Breaking Bad owns this area these days), it certainly stands out. And that's how you sell a person going from fine last week to disturbed this week.

It obfuscates the fact that we haven't seen Julia struggle at her job until now. The editors made sure to show her all-day parking lot stay from a few weeks ago in the "Previously On..." but that was the only example of Victor putting a real strain on Julia's career. Her late-episode revelation that she is not dedicated to her job anymore came off as honest through some storytelling trickery, but that's good enough.

Then there was the tumble of bombshells from Kristina. The cancer brought Sarah Ramos back (as a couple of you predicted in the comments for "Left Field") as Kristina dropped her burden upon Haddie and Max (the latter of which almost shrugged off the weight). She and Amber had a surprisingly powerful scene in the teaser (or at least I thought it was powerful, but I'm a sucker for those two right now). And then came the admission at the end to all of the adults. Just as she let out the eponymous line, the dialogue went silent and we only saw reactions to the words (which is also how "Left Field" ended).

Though Kristina certainly had the largest bombshell to drop, it wasn't for the audience: The kiss and Julia's resignation were far more intense. It's as if the episode could be broken down to GASP! GASP! Relieved Sigh. We feel for the Bravermans learning that one of their own has a life-threatening disease, but them knowing isn't as course-altering as the other two major events of the episode. Although if the three of them sit down and talk it out, Kristina's "I have breast cancer" still wins. Cancer is the best trump card.

– If only I could just get to the point in my life where I could walk into a Diesel store and drop $400 without even worrying about it.

– Sarah's jogging spur felt like a Lorelai freakout, didn't it?

– The call to Haddie about Kristina's cancer was weird. To paraphrase: "I'm glad you did something that had to do with history class. Listen, I got the cancer. I'm going to be fine! But it's totally the cancer. We'll let that sink in. You're upset? Oh, well. Gotta go." Seemed so un-Braverman to hang up without fully exhausting the cry.

– Julia playing the Victor card when asking for mercy from opposing counsel. It hurts. – Adam may be a jackass, but I can't take him tearing up like he did on the phone with Haddie. Don't make me shed these robot tears, Krause! That's Mae Whitman's job.

– Hank's admission that "it wasn't nothing" and the subsequent "but I know you have somebody" were heartbreaking, both because of the sentiments themselves and because the scene marked the end of curmudgeon Hank. As JD from Scrubs might say, he's a sensy now.

– I like Max when he isn't a prima donna. He's at his best when he just doesn't care about people. Or rattling off statistics and saying things like, "I'm retired." That being said, Max asking about chemotherapy at the game was touching.

– Really? Victor's first at-bat resulted in an in-field grand slam? Kids are stupid when it comes to baseball. There were like 10 errors on that play. One time, the ball made it from the infield back to the outfield. What the heck was that? Did you even want that game, not-Victor's team?

– Amber and Ryan York are about to have all of the sex. I wonder how it'll ruin his life.

– Good to see that Drew isn't dead. Where have you been? I've seen more of Haddie in the last few episodes and she's supposed to be living on the East Coast now. You live in the Braverman family compound. You must move around pretty stealthily, like some emo ninja.

1. How long is Haddie staying for?

2. Do Joel and Julia switch roles now like on Up All Night?

3. What's the funniest moment of the season so far? Does Zeek talking to the coach rank in the top three?

4. Over/Under: Number of episodes before Mark walks out a sad, sad man: 3.

Parenthood "There's Something I Need to Tell You" Photos

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Parenthood S04E03: "Everything Is Not Okay"

"The bad thing is already happening."

So we're all in agreement that Mae Whitman just played another character who convinced a kid without a chance in hell of winning to run for student body president, right? Way to go, Egg!

Do you feel like Max is starting to become a caricature? As this season progresses, it's been getting harder to tell if his tantrums are the results of his autistic perspective or if he's just a big baby. Obviously, I don't need every week to be a very special episode where Max is the center of attention, but freaking out about the vending machine (and, specifically, Skittles) sounds more like a diva who didn't get everything on her rider. I love Max to pieces, but with the focus shifted away from him to Kristina in that household, Parenthood is quick to turn to the fits for either comic relief or just plain relief.

I say relief because the current A-story is so terribly painful (in a good way) and Monica Potter is killing it right now. Last week I wasn't sure if this storyline was a good idea. This show exhibits what my buddy Noel calls "grief porn"—that is, Parenthood is a perfect blend of serious obstacles mixed with melodrama and characters that earn our empathy. So that's why you feel like you have dust in your eye every week. Or that you're cutting onions. Whatever you tell yourself.

The point is, I was a little afraid this would be too much. The family has brushed so often with emotional disasters in three years and cancer is almost like one of those topics people throw out there when they can't think of anything else. "We've done autism and homelessness and alcoholism. We've done engagements and splitting up and the Braverman Apocalypse. What's next?" "Well, there's always cancer." And everyone throws garbage at that writer.

That's what I felt. What I feel now is that Kristina, who has really ramped up in the last half-season or so, has been given a chance to take center stage, and she has done so beautifully. The scene where she pulled down her robe and looked at herself in the mirror, eyes welling up? I must have had an inflammation in my tear gland right then. Powerful stuff.

Plus, we can trust Parenthood with all the facets of the issue. It's not just going to be Kristina scared for an episode or two and then, pop, the cancer comes out and we move onto the next thing. Bravermans can't deal with things that way; everything they do has to be infected. I bash Adam a lot because I think he's the worst Braverman, but this week really identified the nuance of Adam's desire to simultaneously fix everything and do the right thing. It's a common issue of television marriages, "I don't want a solution, I just want you to listen," but it fits with Adam, who is Mr. Protector McFix-It, to only want to quickly find a solution and whisk his wife through the process rather than actually seeing that, in the time it takes to get into the process, she's understandably flooded with emotions and thoughts of mortality. Adam has to learn that not everyone takes solace in knowing they're doing something the right way and that everything else is out of their control. This is scary.

Which is what made the rest of the episode so interesting. Much in the same way that last week's episode was a little jokey, a little superficial, this week's episode was rife with sitcom fodder, too. From Max's vending-machine tirades to Zeek getting his old man license to Sarah constantly mentioning her annoying boss to Amber trying to clean up the burned coffee smell. They all had their Braverman twist (Max's obsession pushed his only friend away; Zeek's run-in with the law made him face his own age and mortality; Hank is clearly always on Sarah's mind, to Mark's chagrin; and Amber trying to please Adam came with a side of insecurity and feelings of inadequacy) but they are not nearly as heavy as what Adam and Kristina are going through. Or maybe that's just the Cancer Effect.

Of the four other stories, Sarah's was the most intruiging to me. The writers are slow-playing that hand despite the fact that everyone watching knows what's going on. Mark insisting on being in the picture was nothing but doom for him. We've already seen that Hank is at least attracted to Sarah (from his awesome conversation with Max) and she can't do anything but talk about him, so how long are we going to wait for Hank to make a move and for Sarah to have to make a decision? Granted, it's only been three episodes but he's also already been vulnerable in front of her (a little, about his failed marriage). It's only a matter of time before Sarah worms her way in and converts him to a Braverman. Like a virus.

So while Sarah wandered toward inevitable philandering, Max decided to run for student body president (find a blank tape to record your campaign video on, Max), and Zeek crushed the driving exam, they also all faced distractions they'll have to shrug off in order to move on. Sarah needs to put the Hank thoughts away for suspicious Mark. Max needs to cool it on the vending machines in order to keep his friend. And Zeek has to take solace in his good test score to distract him from feeling old.

Zeek dealing with his mortality provided one of the best shots in the episode that wasn't on Monica Potter or Mae Whitman. When Adam called him out on his heart flutter, Zeek turned to Adam and said, "I'm gonna be all right." Then, turning to look out into the night, he continued, "Then again you never know what's going to happen, do you?" Peter Krause has never looked more like a frightened child than he did standing next to a stone-faced Craig T. Nelson staring into the dark and considering the rest of his life. Adam is the kind of character who would bury himself in the minutiae of the cancer-curing process rather than actually face the real possibility of losing his wife. And possibly having to become Max's sole Skittles dealer.

– Max needs a reality check on what's fair. He really had to jump through some logistical hoops to find injustice regarding a hypothetical vending machine that no one in his present had access to.

– Also: who knew Max Braverman and Marshawn Lynch had so much in common?

– Gypsy (from Gilmore Girls) and Woody (from Psych) in the same episode? Two of my favorite side characters coming by for a visit. Now we just need Kirk.

– Micah is in a wheelchair AND he's Max's best friend? What'd this kid do to deserve such a crappy hand dealt to him?

– It makes perfect sense that Amber is the first family member to know about Kristina. She's the most trustworthy, emotionally stable, understanding person in the Braverman bunch. It's a wonder that she's not adopted (Season 5 storyline: switched at birth?). Also: Mae Whitman put in another amazing performance. This kid consistently makes my eyes sweaty every week.

– Yes, every way of explaining away crying I've used is from "I'm Not Crying" by Flight of the Conchords. Ha. Ha. Ha-ha. Haaaaaaaaa.

– If Kristina did stay with Dr Hariana, how long do you think it would take before Crosby created Braverman Apocalypse II: Oncologist Boogaloo?

– What's the over/under on the number of episodes before Sarah has to make that "important decision?"

– Will Emmy voters remember Monica Potter next summer? They seem to forget all about Mae Whitman.

– How involved in Max's campaign will Kristina be after being restricted by Haddie for hers?

– Do you think the Braverman siblings were blowing the Zeek situation out of proportion?

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Parenthood S04E02: "Left Field"

"For the next 12 months, I want you to behold the breast of knowledge, thrust yourself upon it, and SUCK."

This episode was dirrrrrrrrrrty.

After reading (and agreeing) with Cory Barker's assessment of Parenthood in his feature on shows that deserve better timeslots, this week I couldn't help but notice the characters taking advantage of being on at 10pm by sexing it up a little. And a little on this show means a lot.

It all started with that quote from Zeek about leaping onto breasts and sucking. Without context, it's a statement that could be more maternal than sexual and maybe I just have a mind descended from pilgrims who think breasts are dirty. But, starting with the last year's season finale, Drew is a sexual being, as we saw with his awkward-but-effective moves to bed Amy. Combine that with the Now-Distant Amy issue hanging over him like a dark cloud, the episode opening with Crosby and Jasmine doing it on the kitchen floor, and the creepy old man tone in which Zeek delivered that line (Sarah even addressed it as gross); everything points to it being sexual. And, therefore, out of place.

In fact, a lot of the innuendo (and not so subtle mentioning of sex) was weirdly out of place in the episode. It wasn't terribly explicit, but this is not a show that deals flippantly with sex. Unless it's "lovemaking" between consensual, married adults, it's usually a big deal and often leads to drama/catastrophe. Let's review:

– Sarah sleeps with an old high school boyfriend (Drew is crushed)
– Sarah sleeps with Amber's high school teacher (Amber is crushed)
– Haddie (eventually) sleeps with the slightly older, African-American counselor at the homeless shelter (Adam and Kristina are crushed)
– Crosby sleeps with Max's behavior therapist (essentially a Braverman apocalypse)
– Adam gets kissed by a hot receptionist (Kristina is crushed—you have to grade them on a curve)
– Adam and Kristina sleep together (a child is born)

But this season has made it a point to bring up sex as a less destructive force. In the premiere, Amber slept with that guy from American Idol and Adam went into freak-out mode. That was business as usual. But Amber spun sex differently for him later, saying that she's mature enough to handle it and that not every dalliance with grown-up naked time needs to end in emotional destruction. It was an awkward conversation where she dropped the phrase "very willing" but important all the same.

I applaud the show for being more open and realistic about sex, particularly among the kids that are becoming all growns up. It's one of the show's strengths that we actually see the teenagers grow into adults (sometimes maturing faster than their parents) and become fuller, more realized characters.

That being said, sex brought up by a Braverman seems dirtier than sex brought up by anyone else. Drew said he got a spam text about penis enlargement and I was like WHOA. Did Drew just say penis? PENIS? In front of God and everyone? It's a word that would be pedestrian on any other show but, because we deal so infrequently with Parenthood working blue, smaller forays into even the most banal adult situations feel racy.

Another example is the deal Adam and Kristina struck when agreeing to get the purebreed retriever. (I want to note here that I'm not often on Adam's side, but I was squarely with him on the matter of getting a $1,200 dog from those psychopaths; that would never be a good idea or investment, particularly when the dog would be for an autistic prima donna and a soon-to-be toddler. Toddlers are world-renowned as adorable dog torturers.) Kristina made the rookie mistake of saying "anything" was on the table for her end of the bargain, which Adam quickly related to Funkytown (their unsubtle name for scheduled doing-it). She agreed to his demand, but with the condition that "anything" does not include that "thing you like to do." What thing is so offensive that Kristina can't even bring herself to perform it? What kind of fetish is Adam into? Is it feet? Is that why he worked at the shoe place? It's all coming together.

Maybe Crosby and Jasmine having sex everywhere isn't a big deal (though his randiness seems to be turned up to 11 in this episode), and Amber saying she really likes "Funkytown" isn't weird (it's a catchy song), but Adam being into something so kinky, so depraved, that Kristina not only can't name it but also refuses to do it—you have to admit that it's a pretty smutty in a series dealing mostly with principle, loyalty, family, and modern morality.

But here's where things gets interesting. The entire episode was, more or less, lighthearted. While the dog thing caused some drama and Drew's break-up was sad, both were rather small in the long run (Hank made sure that Drew was okay—because he's the best). Julia and Joel's storyline was sweet but filler. Crosby's storyline was like a drawn-out episode of King of Queens except the characters were better looking. But the lighthearted fare was a red herring. In what could have been just a breather episode after the season premiere, Kristina got a breast exam and, like you would expect from a mammogram that happens two minutes before the end of an episode, received some bad news.

From such a light installment that literally had "Funkytown" in its soundtrack, this episode ended with some surprising darkness that came out of left field (OMG that's the title!). Just like how blue language on this show is shocking, an episode where everything is nonchalant and wraps up so neatly has the making of a story arc that could be long-running and emotionally devastating. It's jarring.

I'm not sure if I think this is an interesting place to take Kristina or if this is just Emmy bait, but how it arrived is at least interesting, no?

– The whole Victor storyline is sweet. It's good to humanize Julia in a way that she isn't a sadsack. I was a little disappointed with her during the Zoe saga. I very much enjoyed her finding the right solution as a mother instead of relying on Joel's vagina to figure it out for her. Julia's face when Joel told her she was amazing: priceless reaction.

– Along those same lines, Victor obviously has no respect for Joel. Kid is straight-up playing video games all day, not even lying down with his poor tummy, and then gets on the phone with Julia like she's a shift boss at the factory, fake sick voice and everything. Joel is supposed to be his dad, right? Where's his control in that situation?

– So Amy went away to summer camp and hooked up with another dude in a "nothing serious" kind of way. I feel bad for Drew since that's pretty slutacious behavior. Mostly because I'm not entirely sure what that would mean on this show (specifically this episode). Between The CW and ABC Family, I understand that "nothing serious" could be anything from chaste pining to BDSM.

– Hank continues to be the best thing that ever happened to this show. He's like a logical voice that has been mistakenly cast on The Real World. In this world of chaos, he's the only person who has any kind of perspective. "It's okay to be sad." How great is that for Drew? What troubles me is that his advice throughout, particularly with respect to sleeping with Amy's best friend to do it to her before she does it to him, means that there are cracks starting to form. Cracks of sensitivity. Cracks of being a sadsack. Remember how Zoe used to be awesome before she started hanging out with a Braverman? They're going to ruin Hank, too. But until then, we're going to get gold like when Hank tries the brownies and denies Sarah's Lorelai-like eyebrow flicks with an, "Honestly? Mediocre. Almost. But the thought, you had the thought in there." It's gold, you guys. GOLD.

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What to watch on Tuesday, September 11...

It's a big night for NBC what with all these premieres and all. You know what this means, right? Fall premiere season HAS OFFICIALLY ARRIVED! Leave it to NBC to try to get the head-start. Let's take a look at what's on TV tonight:

8pm, Fox
So You Think You Can Dance
It's the final four, ya'll! And now that the competition is extra fierce, it's time to start analyzing these contestants with hawk-eyes, trying to figure out who's going to buckle under the pressure first. Which dynamic dance team has your vote locked down?

SERIES PREMIERE, 9pm, NBC
The New Normal
Are you ready for some controversy!? YEAH! Though not actually that controversial depending on where you reside, NBC's new sitcom has been raising eyebrows for its subject matter: a wonderfully loving gay couple looking to expand their family. When they finally find the perfect surrogate, Goldie, who recently uprooted her eight year-old daughter to Los Angeles after a failed career and marriage in the Midwest, they are unwillingly subjected to Goldie's extraordinarily close-minded grandmother. Bring on the stereotypes!

9pm, USA
White Collar
In "Gloves Off" Neal goes undercover as a Wall Street stock trader, which means he gets to go on the floor hollering and throwing hand signals all willy-nilly-like. Sounds like fun, Neal! Alright so it's a little more complicated: Peter and Neal aren't after Wall Street execs, per se... they're really after an underground fight club where traders fight for insider information.

SEASON PREMIERE, 10pm, NBC
Parenthood
It's baaack! In "Family Portrait" the family gets together to pose for a family photo before Haddie runs off to college. Of course that just leads into a whole boatload of family drama: Kristina, Adam, and Max have a hard time adjusting to Haddie being gone, Crosby and Jasmine argue over what kind of spiritual beliefs they want to raise Jabbar with, Julia and Joel have a hard time dealing with their new son's behavior, and Sarah tries to prove her worth to a photographer while Amber tries out a new job at the Luncheonette—man, how many storylines can one show handle??

SEASON PREMIERE, 10pm, FX
Sons of Anarchy
Are you ready for a fifth season of roaring engines and badass leather jackets? I am! In tonight's season premiere, "Sovereign," Jax takes hold of SAMCRO, but a series of (unfortunate) events start to rear up in Charming, causing the town to unravel at a rapid pace. So much drama already!

PLUS ALL NEW EPISODES OF...
High School Moms, 8 p.m., TLC
So You Think You Can Dance, TOP 4 PERFORM, 8 p.m., Fox
The Voice, 9 p.m., NBC
19 Kids and Counting, 9 p.m., TLC
Dance Moms, SEASON FINALE, 9 p.m., Lifetime
Face Off, 9 p.m., Syfy
Flipping Out, 9 p.m., Bravo
Go On, OFFICIAL SERIES PREMIERE, 9 p.m., NBC
Hard Time, 9 p.m., NatGeo
Mysteries at the Museum, 9 p.m., Travel
Property Virgins, 9 p.m., HGTV
White Collar, 9 p.m., USA
The New Normal, SERIES PREMIERE, 9 p.m., NBC
Abby & Brittany, 10 p.m., TLC
Addicted, 10 p.m., Discovery Fitness & Health
All the Right Moves, 10 p.m., Oxygen
Chopped, 10 p.m., Food Network
Covert Affairs, 10 p.m., USA
Criminal Defense, SEASON PREMIERE, 10 p.m., NatGeo
Gangsters: America's Most Evil, 10 p.m., Bio
Parenthood, SEASON PREMIERE, 10 p.m., NBC
Shipping Wars, 10 p.m., A&E;
Twisted, SEASON PREMIERE, 10 p.m., Investigation Discovery
Teen Mom, REUNION, 10 p.m., MTV
The Week the Women Went, SEASON FINALE, 10 p.m., Lifetime
Collection Intervention, 10:30 p.m., Syfy
House Hunters International, 10:30 p.m., HGTV
The Burn With Jeff Ross, 10:30 p.m., Comedy Central

LATE-NITE PICKS:
Phil McGraw and Dakota Johnson on Jimmy Kimmel Live, 12 a.m., ABC

What are you watching tonight?

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