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Oh man, oh man, it's another day on the Open Caption playing field. Who will win? Who will conquer? Who will make me snort so hard milk comes out my nose? Who will buy me a new carton of milk? Here are the winners from yesterday's contest:

From smithinjapan:

Annie: "I know you're pissed I called shotgun, but stop kicking the seat!"

ZeroCals:

Annie: "OMG! Like the audience, the bad guys have realized I'm a terrible spy, too..."

ViridianDynamic:

Annie: "When I said 'Up for anything :)' on the dating website, this isn't what I had in mind."

In tonight's season finale, "All the King's Horses," the team is confronted with a potential disaster right before their season opener. That can't be good. In the still below, TK (L) and Jimmy (R) crack open some brewskies on the street, no big. Post your best caption ideas in the comments!

Check out all of our recent winners on TV.com's Open Caption Pinterest Board.

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BUSINESS TIME

... The biggest news of today actually came in late last night, but the much-discussed rumblings are now confirmed: Joss Whedon is bringing a S.H.I.E.L.D. series to ABC. Whedon will co-write the pilot with his brother Jed as well as Maurissa Tancharoen, and there's a possibility that he'll direct the project as well. I'm not that familiar with the comics, but this seems like a solid premise for a series set in the Marvel world, and it should help ABC replenish its drama docket, which is full of long-in-the-tooth shows, Shonda Rhimes shows, and long-in-the-tooth Shonda Rhimes shows. [Deadline Hollywood]

... Last night's ratings: Masterchef hit a season high over on Fox (a 2.8 in the 18-49 demo, 6.5 million viewers) while America's Got Talent took a dip (2.4 in 18-49, 9.5 million). When the big three switched to Republican National Convention coverage in the 10pm hour, NBC's coverage was watched by double the amount of people. It's a good thing Jeff Zucker's gone, otherwise he might have ordered an additional 68 episodes of the RNC. [TV By The Numbers]

... Syfy has ordered a 20-episode third season of Paranormal Witness based on the ratings success of Season 2's first few episodes. Syfy calls the show a "true-terror docudrama," which is a better phrase than "Paranormal Witness is a show." [SyFy via press release]

... In today's "We're bringing an old movie franchise to television" news, Eddie Murphy and Shawn Ryan (The Shield, Terriers, The Chicago Code, and the upcoming Last Resort) are joining forces to make a Beverly Hills Cop television series happen. In an interview with Rolling Stone last year, Murphy laid out the pitch: Axel Folely's son as the lead, with Murphy's Axel occasionally appearing as the chief of police. Honestly, that's probably the best idea Murphy's had since the 1990s. [Vulture]

... It pays to be cute and precocious on a populist sitcom: Modern Family's young cast members have negotiated an impressive salary bump that more than triples their previous intakes. The kids will now make around $70,000 an episode. That's a ridiculous figure, but Nolan Gould (Luke) deserves Charlie Sheen money for as much as he carried that show last season. [Deadline Hollywood]

... CBS has purchased a script from John Ross Bowie and Kevin Sussman, two guys who became friends while recurring together on The Big Bang Theory. Titled The Second Coming of Rob and loosely based on Bowie's life, the comedy will follow a newly divorced guy looking to find himself again by reconnecting with his college buddies after some years of "marital incarceration." Get it? Because marriage is like jail, except the latter includes physical affection. Hey-o! That one's on me, CBS. [Deadline Hollywood]

... Our collective turmoil over the fate of Wipeout is over: The ABC obstacle-course show will return for a sixth season, and the even better news is that Jill Wagner is coming back as co-host after a year off (during which she was temporarily replaced by Vanessa Minnillo). I can't wait to see how the producers write her back in; I assume detailed flashbacks will be involved. [Deadline Hollywood]

... Fans of great adult drama, rejoice: Robert and Michelle King, the duo behind The Good Wife, have set up a new project at Showtime called Girls with Guns. The premise is curious—two sisters from Los Angeles move to Israel, where women are drafted in the military so I assume one or both will be—but I trust the Kings. This seems like it could pair well with Homeland. [Deadline Hollywood]

CASTING NEWS

... NBC announced today that Seth MacFarlane, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, and Daniel Craig will be the first three hosts of Saturday Night Live's upcoming 38th season, which will premiere September 15. White dudes, shocker. If MacFarlane doesn't do some sort of musical performance during his tenure, I'll eat my hat. The musical guests are a bit better, with Frank Ocean, Mumford & Sons, and Muse stopping by the show in weeks one through three. [NBC via press release]

RYAN MURPHY, FOREVER A TROLL NEWS

... The new issue of Entertainment Weekly features a cover story on American Horror Story that spills some details on the second season, which is subtitled "Asylum." The best of those details? Season 2 will involve "aliens, Nazis, and a serial killer named Bloody Face who wears a mask made out of his victims' skin along with a black nightie and opera-length gloves." I appreciate Ryan Murphy's consistent attempts to make the most outrageous and awful television shows and I love aliens, but come on, it will be tough to top Dylan McDermott cry-sterbating. [Entertainment Weekly]

Follow TV.com Writer Cory Barker on Twitter: @corybarker.

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What to watch on Thursday, August 30...

Oh Thursday, where haven't you been all my life? It's like every week I turn around you're just there. So reliable, I tells ya! And now let's see what you've got to offer the world in respect to TV goodness:

9pm, Lifetime
Project Runway
In tonight's "Oh My Lord and Taylor" Bonnie Brooks will guest judge while designers scramble to complete in a challenge that could land them a deal that would showcase their designs as part of a 10-piece capsule collection. It's gettin' real, yo!

10pm, TBS
Sullivan & Son
In "How Carol Got Her Groove Back" a certain somebody (coughCarol) finds out she's starting menopause and gets, like, suuper depressed. What a fun surprise! To make matters awkward, Ahmed will do his best to life her spirits, but every attempt will backfire.

10pm, FX
Wilfred
In "Questions" Ryan will make an effort to figure out where Wilfred really came from. How? By digging deep within his own conscience. Is it wrong to assume Wilfred was formed out of a plume of marijuana smoke?

10:30pm, MTV
Awkward.
In tonight's "Pick Me, Choose Me, Love Me" (could they have chosen a more narcissistic title? It's so Jenna!). Jenna publishes a blog that gets releaseed into the blogosphere and spreads through the school like wildfire—but the backlash of outspoken opinions about her life choices may be too much for her to handle. This is why we don't publish our secrets on the web, Jenna.

10:30pm, FX
Louie
In "Late Show, Part 1," which is the first of not two but three parts, Louie does his best to catch a break. And by break, I mean he does his best to be more famous than he already is. When will it be enough, Louie? WHEN WILL IT BE ENOUGH?

PLUS ALL NEW EPISODES OF...
Republican National Convention, 7 p.m., PBS, CNN, or MSNBC
The American Bible Challenge, 8 p.m., Game Show Network
Wipeout, 8 p.m., ABC
Auction Kings, 9 p.m., Discovery
Beat the Chefs, 9 p.m., Game Show Network
Behind Mansion Walls, 9 p.m., Investigation Discovery
Big Brother, 9 p.m., CBS
Braxton Family Values, 9 p.m., WE TV
Crime Inc., 9 p.m., CNBC
Four Weddings, 9 p.m., TLC
Project Runway, 9 p.m., Lifetime
Rookie Blue, 9 p.m., ABC
Saving Hope, 9 p.m., NBC
The Next, 9 p.m., The CW
Extreme Chef, 10 p.m., Food
High School Moms, 10 p.m., Discovery Fit & Health
How Do They Do It?, 10 p.m., Science
Snooki & JWoww, 10 p.m., MTV
Sullivan & Son, 10 p.m., TBS
The First 48, 10 p.m., A&E;
The Real L Word, 10 p.m., Showtime
Very Bad Men, 10 p.m., Investigation Discovery
Wilfred, 10 p.m., FX
House Hunters International, 10:30 p.m., HGTV
Awkward, 10:30 p.m., MTV
Louie, 10:30 p.m., FX

LATE-NITE PICKS:
Bruce Willis on Late Show With David Letterman, 11:35 p.m., CBS
Dolph Lundgren and journalist Savannah Guthrie on The Tonight Show With Jay Leno, 11:35 p.m., NBC
Spike Lee and Mike Birbiglia on The Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson, 12:37 a.m., CBS

What are you watching tonight?

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