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What to watch on Tuesday, October 30...

Happy Election Day! After nearly a solid year of campaign speeches, debates, and Colbert Report- and Daily Show-skewering, we've only got hours to go until we get the final word! So, stock up on snacks and cold beverages, because tonight could be a loooong one, depending on the outcome (and your political persuasion). Here's what's on, both election-related and otherwise.

LIVE on ABC, CBS, NBC, Fox, CNN, MSNBC, PBS, CSPAN
2012 Election Coverage
It's a big night for all major news outlets, with the fun beginning at 4pm Eastern on CNN's Election Day in America with Wolf Blitzer. Later in the evening, ABC, CBS, NBC will start election coverage at 7pm Eastern, followed by CSPAN, Fox, MSNBC and PBS at 8pm Eastern. Plus, Current TV will offer a roundtable at 7pm Eastern with Jennifer Granholm, Eliot Spitzer, Cenk Uygur, and John Fugelsang. Check your local listings to confirm airtimes on your election coverage network of choice.

10pm, USA
Covert Affairs
If you need a break from the election, check out tonight's new episode of Covert Affairs, "Scary Monsters (and Super Creeps)." In it, Annie and Eyal are on this renegade mission to find an important asset who has vanished from protective custody. Meanwhile, Joan isn't too thrilled about the situation and gives Annie some serious lecturing over the phone in a scary monster-like kind of way. P.S. That last part may or may not be true, but I think we can all agree that getting lectured in general can be an unpleasant experience.

10pm, FX
Sons of Anarchy
In tonight's "Andare Pescare" (translation: go fishing), Jax continues to get closer to the truth, but there are still some obstacles in the way. Meanwhile, Gemma gets close to Clay... maybe they'll go fishing together?

10pm, Syfy
Total Blackout
In "Creatures of Darkness," contestants must transfer unknown creatures of the sea between tanks. Later, we'll see them navigate through some sort of cross-maze full of unknown surprises.

10pm, MTV
Underemployed
In "The Days of Yore," Lou and Raviva argue over money, Miles is hired on Daphne's campaign, and Sophia get's a surprise visit from her parents.

LIVE, 11pm, Comedy Central
The Daily Show with Jon Stewart: Live Election Night Special
Laughter may be the best medicine on election night, and this particular dose is most effective when taken live. In tonight's special "Election Night 2012: This Ends Now," Jon Stewart and regular Daily Show correspondents like Samantha Bee, Wyatt Cenac, Jason Jones, Al Madrigal, Aasif Mandvi, John Oliver, and Jessica Williams will be reporting on state-by-state election returns with a sense of humor.

LIVE, 11:30pm, Comedy Central
The Colbert Report: Live Election Night Special
Tonight's special live election episode features one of the longest titles I've ever had to type out: "Election 2012: A Nation Votes, Ohio Decides; The Re-Presidenting of America: Who Will Replace Obama? '012!"—and will feature analysis of the results along with a guest appearance by Andrew Sullivan.

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Covert Affairs S03E11: "Rock N' Roll Suicide"

When we last saw Annie Walker at the end of "Let's Dance," she had just wasted villainous double agent Lena Smith... and having a stare-down with her ex-boss's bullet-riddled corpse is exactly where we found Annie upon our return. With a quick phone call to Auggie, it looked like Annie would be back in the U.S. of A. in no time... and then she got arrested. Oops.

Annie's woodland chase was certainly one of the higher-caliber fights we've seen her in over the course of the series, and it served to highlight just how far she's come since her time at the Farm. Yes, she got caught, but only because one of her pursuers got her from behind—and before we cry "rookie mistake!" let's keep in mind how many baddies she was up against. As we could see when the camera pulled up to give us a birds-eye view of the whole incident, Annie held her own against four soldiers who easily outgunned her; two were clearly unconscious and one was barely standing. Not bad, Walker. Not bad at all.

But she still got arrested, so that sucked. It also set off some red flags back in the States when Arthur's superiors got wind of the massive security compromise that Annie's arrest presented. With the CIA unwilling to claim Annie as their own since her mission was off-off-off the record and the Russians unwilling to admit that they'd arrested her, Annie was pretty much on her own and growing increasingly sleep-deprived as her captors kept her awake at all hours, removed her bed from her holding cell, and interrogated her regularly. However, they were less interested in what she'd done to Lena than they were in how much she knew about charming-but-dead Simon's activities.

Finally, after two weeks, it appeared that Annie had been rescued. I held my breath thinking it might have just been some sort of hallucination due to sleep-deprivation but no, it was everyone's favorite charming Mossad agent, Eyal. Hey, Eyal. You are looking fine, sir.

On another note, are there any men on this show who AREN'T carrying around buckets of charm? Besides Arthur.

Auggie recruited Eyal to rescue Annie when it became apparent that the CIA wasn't going to be much help. I'm always amused by the implication that in Covert Affairs' version of the CIA, everyone can do whatever they want and no one cares unless it becomes a national security risk. Arthur, obligated to reprimand Auggie for launching his own off-the-books rescue mission, wagged his finger, then jumped in with an assist because Joan yelled at him for doing his job earlier in the episode. Sometimes I just want to grab Joan and remind her that YOU. ARE. PROFESSIONAL. SPIES.

Back in Russia, Annie almost blew it all because now that she's done being a badass, she must return to being a general goody-goody. She insisted on going back to check on Simon's sister because Interrogator Alexi threatened to arrest and torture her to make Annie talk. Eyal pointed out that Simon's sis was probably fine since there was no point in using her as leverage against Annie without having Annie in custody. Logical, yes? Yes. But in the throes of her guilt trip/shame fest, Annie wasn't thinking very logically. She convinced Eyal to take her to Simon's sister, at which point she promptly switched their passports and handed over her go-pack, the set of squeaky clean identification meant to help her escape. It's not like Annie would need that later, right?

Eyal probably would have had an easier time getting Annie out of Russia if he had just knocked her out for the duration of their adventures. He totally considered it. Without Annie's go-pack, legal means of public transportation were out. Auggie managed to recruit a pair of Polish cargo pilots to leave their cargo bay doors open during a fuel stop in Russia so that Annie and Eyal could slip on board their plane and after duping their way onto the runway, it looked like Annie and Eyal were in the clear.

And then the plane got searched. Back in the Alexi's custody, Annie commented on the watch that she'd snagged from the Interrogator-in-Chief during her escape because she wanted to "take something from him." It had a nice little engraving from Alexi's grandfather and she wondered aloud what the message, and Alexi's apparent sentimentalism, said about the person he really was. I missed Annie's touchy-feeling people-reading skills. If we could fuse those with her badass, take-no-prisoners approach to hunting Lena down, I'd be pretty happy.

Earlier, Eyal and Annie had deduced that a last-minute change took place between her assigned interrogator and her actual interrogator since Alexi's name didn't match the name on Eyal's intel. That, coupled with his obsessive interest in what Annie knew about Simon, seemed to point to a connection between the two. Annie flexed her intuition muscles. Eyal played along. It turned out that Alexi was a double agent himself who'd been working with Simon and feared that if Annie knew about him and spilled the beans, it would be off with his head. Instead, he aimed to make it off with Annie's head

But wait, what's that? Eyal had a go-pack of his own with a handy-dandy new identity that he'd totally be willing to hand over to Alexi if Alexi promised not to shoot them? I thought the deal was made a little too quickly, but honestly, after watching Annie and Eyal hit roadblock after roadblock, I really just wanted them to get home already. So even though Alexi's eagerness to snag the go-pack and help his prisoners fake their deaths and make an escape was almost laughably neat in comparison to the rest of their fumbling escape attempt, I'll allow it. Lena Smith is dead. Simon has been avenged. Annie's name has been cleared. Let's go home and do whatever it is we have left to do this season.

1. My one pet peeve: When Alexi was interrogating Annie, he spoke English. Annie answered him in Russian—I'm assuming because she was trying to keep her Russian identity going. But by answering him, even in Russian, she revealed that she understood English. If she thought that answering him in English would have raised too much suspicion... isn't it still suspicious that she understood him at all? Wouldn't it have made more sense to feign ignorance?

2. Do we feel bad for Arthur? I kind of feel bad for Arthur. On one hand, yes, it was frustrating to see him regard Annie as little more than a "line item," to quote Joan. On the other hand, isn't it his job to be the detached one? A healthy concern for his underlings is a good thing, but in his line of work, he'd never get anything done if he agonized over every single person in the line of danger.

3. Annie's insistence on checking Simon's sister: guilt trip or a return to our friendly neighborhood Annie?

4. Is this the last we've seen of Simon's sister?

5. So Lena was a double agent who betrayed the U.S. I'm assuming Alexi was a double agent who betrayed Russia? They're all connected to Simon. Eyal wants to read Annie in on all the Simon intel. Is your conspiracy theory radar going off? What do you think was the actual nature of Simon's work?

6. Do you think there was more to Jai's involvement than having the misfortune of sticking his nose in an explosive corner?

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What to watch on Tuesday, October 16...

The secret word of the day is... America! Scream it out loud (or just in your head) every time you read it in this story. Here's what's on TV tonight:

SERIES PREMIERE, 9pm, The CW
Emily Owens, M.D.
Once you get past the lame title, this new medical drama stars Mamie Gummer (Meryl Streep's daughter!) as the titular Emily Owens, a med school graduate who's just starting out as a surgical intern and ready to leave her awkward and dorky school years behind her... until she realizes that the social hierarchy at her new hospital similar is possibly worse than high school. Will it be more than Grey's Anatomy Lite? Tune in to find out!

SERIES PREMIERE, 9pm, History
The Men Who Built America
Amerrrrrrrica! America, Aaaaaaaaaaa... MERICA! (No, I'm not drunk, just excited because America is the WORD OF THE DAY, duh!) This new History Channel miniseries will delve into the origins of the country's oil, rail, steel, shipping, automobile, and finance industries as pioneered by J.P. Morgan, Andrew Carnegie, Cornelius Vanderbilt, Henry Ford, and John D. Rockefeller. Check it out, you might just learn something!

LIVE, 9pm Eastern/6pm Pacific, NBC, ABC, CBS, FOX, CNN, MSNBC, C-SPAN, PBS
The Presidential Debate
Did someone say America? Yep, I did! With two debates down and two (including this one) to go, there's still a lot to talk about! Tonight, President Barack Obama and Mitt Romney will jump back into the ring for their second presidential debate, this time at Hofstra University in Hempstead, New York. The event will be moderated by Candy Crowley, host of CNN's "State of the Union." Unlike the first presidential debate, the candidates will be answering questions from members of the audience during the televised event, which will focus on foreign and domestic (America!) issues.

SERIES PREMIERE, 10pm, MTV
Underemployed
MTV's newest scripted drama from producer Craig Wright (Dirty Sexy Money, Six Feet Under) follows five friends in Chicago as they discover that life after college isn't as glamorous as they imagined it would be. And it looks kinda good! Plus one girl's job requires her to wear a donut-shaped hat.

10pm, FX
Sons of Anarchy
Sons of Anarchy is getting more intense with every episode. In tonight's "Small World," Jax makes a proposal to the club that comes with some serious consequences. And on SoA, "serious" usually means "bloody." So there's that.

10pm, USA
Covert Affairs
After a short break, the second half of Season 3 has arrived. In tonight's "Rock 'n' Roll Suicide," Auggie, Joan, and Arthur team up with an old friend to bring Annie home from a Russian underground prison. How will they get her out? Tune in to see! P.S. America!

SEASON 5 PREMIERE. 11pm, ION
Flashpoint
Flashpoint returns to the televisions of America (word of the day!) tonight, and in the Season 5 opener "Broken Peace," Team One searches for an armed man who's hunting for his ex-wife, and the situation take a tragic turn during the pursuit.

LATE-NITE HIGHLIGHTS:
Don Rickles and Dancing With the Stars' cast-offs on Jimmy Kimmel Live, 12 a.m., ABC
Lauren Graham on The Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson, 12:37 a.m., CBS

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King of the Summer USA Network made some big decisions today regarding three of its top warm-weather performers. Royal Pains, White Collar, and Covert Affairs have all been renewed for additional seasons today.

The most confidence went to Royal Pains, which was renewed for two seasons, a fifth and a sixth, for a total of 26 episodes. White Collar and Cover Affairs both received 16-episode orders. That will be Season 5 for White Collar and Season 4 for Covert Affairs.

Elsewhere at USA, Burn Notice is still awaiting word on a seventh season (it has yet to air the second half of Season 6, which begins in November), but the series is looking good for renewal. But as we've said before, Common Law is almost certainly getting canceled, and Necessary Roughness and Fairly Legal are looking boned, too.

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Covert Affairs S03E10: "Let's Dance"

Wow. Covert Affairs has really taken a dive into the dark side, hasn't it? Armed with everything that we've witnessed over the course of this season, the title "Let's Dance" a certain menacing quality to it, which this episode wholeheartedly deserved. Back on her feet after Lena Smith's assassination attempt, Annie Walker was out for blood. No more Miss Nice Annie.

Somewhat predictably, Lena fled to Russia after Auggie blew the whistle on her double agent status. Why Russia? Because it's always Russia, even though the Cold War ended when I was in elementary school. While Lena lived it up in posh exile, back in the States Annie pushed herself too hard and Auggie called her on it. Not to be hindered by a mere chest wound, Annie basically told Arthur and Joan that she was packing her bags for Russia, with or without their approval. (It's just a flesh wound!)

Joan approved the trip for the sake of giving Annie an edge that she wouldn't have had if she hopped on a plane and went completely rogue—cash, contacts, and a viable alias. She had her misgivings, though, and demanded that the trip be for intel only. If Annie could get a photograph of Lena on Russian soil, then the United States would have ample evidence to demand her return. Annie was given strict orders not to kill Lena.

Oops.

In Russia, Annie made contact with a piano teacher named Dmitri who used to be a spy himself; specifically, a spy with a thing for Lena. Paving the way for Simon to ditch his career for a girl over a decade later, Dmitri was a bit of a trailblazer in that field and Lena promptly betrayed him to advance her own career. He resigned himself to a "small life" and rejected Annie's efforts to glean information from him for about half the episode, then finally gave in because she was plucky and just wouldn't go away.

Dmitri was helpful for a stretch. He hooked Annie up with some information about Lena's weekly routine—apparently she only got to see sunlight on Tuesdays and Thursdays—and helped her arrange an ambush. When the ambush went wrong and Lena turned out not to be in the car that Dmitri claimed she would be in, Annie quickly smelled a betrayal and Annie was SICK of betrayal.

Poor Dmitri. He just wanted Lena to love him. He melted like butter when she showed up at his music store with Victoria Beckham's haircut from four years ago and shoved her tongue down his throat. All of that bonding with Annie over broken hearts and betrayal went out the window and while he liked Annie enough, and felt bad enough about her plight to prevent her from getting killed, he told Lena everything and botched the photo-op. He's lucky Annie didn't splatter his insides all over his outsides; frankly, I was expecting it. Despite her claims to the contrary, Annie was very much operating almost entirely on emotion. The last of her self-control was probably used on pointing a camera at Lena's empty car instead of a gun and when it appeared that her sole opportunity to get Lena "the right way" was compromised, the mission quickly began to unravel, and even with Auggie in her ear suggesting that she get back to the U.S., SOMEONE was going to pay.

Do we think this new, jaded Annie Walker is here to stay? Annie spared Dmitri, but Lena wasn't so fortunate—and to be fair, she was in the midst of pulling a gun on Annie anyway. But before Annie capped her, Lena managed to get her super villain monologue out and explain herself. What she said probably has more implications for Annie than for Lena, particularly concerning Old Annie vs. New Annie.

Lena had worked as a double agent for 13 years. She had Jai murdered to shove Annie into the spotlight at the CIA and she picked Annie up as a protege on purpose. She deliberately paired Annie with Simon because Annie's history of falling for the driven, bad-boy types, and her ongoing new-girl drive to prove herself to her superiors made a romance inevitable. Lena figured that it would be Annie falling for Simon, but Simon falling for Annie was totally workable in Lena's master plan, too. Lena had no vendetta against Simon OR Annie. They were just the right parts at the right time in her big machine. Annie was the perfect victim because of the kind of person and the kind of operative she was. Ouch.

But Annie clearly changed due to her experience with Lena and when the duo came face to face, Annie actually had the upper hand. Lena made the mistake of assuming that she was still dealing with Old Annie, and played on Old Annie's need for approval and acceptance by showering her with compliments and offering her a place in her new empire. Annie pointed out that Lena's empire actually kind of sucked, that Lena was practically a prisoner to her own power. Certainly, she could manipulate people and play them like the world was a giant chess board, but she couldn't even leave her house without an armed guard.

Annie's needs have appeared to change, but what she gives in return is very much the same. Annie balked at the idea of betraying her agency for personal gain. Annie has never thrived in isolation, which was made very apparent this past season. Mending fences with Auggie, Joan, and Danielle has become a cornerstone of Annie's restored identity. While she no longer yearns for their constant affirmation, she still cares for them and she's still loyal. She still knows what her job is. She still follows her instincts. Because she wasn't blinded by her search for approval, New Annie saw right through Lena's promises as the distractions they were and totally nailed Lena before she got a single shot in.

Now what? Lena told Annie that the CIA would throw Annie under the bus if she killed Lena. Do you think that will be the case? With the mystery of Jai's murder solved and Lena brought to justice, where do you think the rest of the season will go when Covert Affairs returns in three weeks?

– Annie and Auggie formally reconnected and Auggie claimed to have something important to tell Annie face to face. Despite being a big Auggie/Annie fan, now that canon is kind of sort of "going there" it feels weird. Is it just me? Is it weird? Is it awesome?

– Joan turned in her letter of resignation when news of Annie's Moscow mission started to make waves. Do you think Arthur will accept it? Do we care? I kind of care. Joan has finally had something to do during the past few episodes besides complain and look sullen. I like it.

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Covert Affairs S03E09: "Suffragette City"

I really hope that next week's post-coma rundown includes at least 30 seconds' worth of Annie's pals surrounding her bed while she tells Auggie and Danielle and all the others, "You were there, and YOU were there," straight-up Dorothy Gale-style. Because as soon as I realized that "Suffragette City" consisted largely of a romp through Annie's subconscious, I had to resist the urge to maim my television.

It's just such a tired trope and I always feel like it's weird and out of place on a show that, theoretically, is grounded in something akin to "reality."

Still, thankfully, it wasn't as bad as I feared. And if Annie's adventures in Wonderland were truly indicative of the things that she knows, believes, and thinks about in her subconscious, does that mean that all the eager Annie/Auggie fans out there have gotten the confirmation that they've wanted all this time with that kiss?

While Annie worked through the evidence piled up in her headspace, Auggie and Joan teamed up on the outside to clear Annie's name. Lena finally made her play, running back to the office after taking out Simon and Annie and presenting a whole slew of evidence that painted Annie to look like she had committed treason: the fake passport, a fake off-shore bank account, even the fake sweep drive Lena acquired for Annie on Annie's VERY FIRST MISSION under her leadership. Lena had played her from the very beginning and, unfortunately, after months of bad publicity, including Jai's assassination, the CIA was less-then-thorough in its investigation and eager to pin its woes on Annie.

Auggie and Joan called shenanigans, of course; but, lacking the clearance and the authority to do much to derail Lena's plan, they were forced to work outside their usual channels. It was awesome to see Joan being proactive and badass for once and delightful to see Auggie back to fighting form. We've had depressed Auggie as well as drunk and disorderly Auggie. It's been too long since we've had asskicking Auggie, or, for that matter, crazy-smart detective Auggie. Now that we've cleared Annie's name, can we go back to figuring out who killed Jai? It's only been, like, the whole season.

The devil is in the details and it was the number on Annie's fake passport that ultimately led to Lena's plan for... um... well, Covert Affairs hasn't gotten there yet, so we'll go with "world domination" for now. It's a classic and she's kind of a psycho, so yeah, sure, world domination. Auggie traced the number and learned that it was indeed a fake and it wasn't a fake issued by the CIA, which meant it had to come from an outside "cobbler." Since there are only so many of those in D.C., Auggie figured he could eventually find the responsible party. The one who ended up being a dead body was probably a bit of a tip-off; plus he had his Super Blind Man Skillz.

At the scene of the cobbler's murder, Auggie smelled lavender and heard a diesel engine drive away. Both pieces of evidence were flimsy, but when Lena met him at the hospital to pretend to be concerned about her former protege, Auggie got a whiff of the perfume again. Outed by her lady-fragrance. I wonder how Lena feels about that.

Joan insisted that they couldn't arrest Lena based on her perfume, which was, okay, true, so Auggie turned his attention to the diesel engine he heard. He interviewed the deliveryman who discovered Annie and Simon and realized that the car he spotted was, in fact, Lena's car. Arthur unleashed the hounds just in time to intercept Lena before she could take care of Annie once and for all—I wondered when she would get around to that—and even though Lena ultimately escaped, through the magic of TV medical care, Annie turned out just fine, even though I'm pretty sure defibrillators don't work like that.

Now will someone please call Danielle and let her know her sister almost died? RUDE.

– Lena as "Blackbird" made for the least suspenseful head trip ever, but hey, there was an Annie/Auggie kiss AND I absolutely loved the opening credits homage when Annie stopped to smirk at the camera before swiping her key card.

– Coma Annie walked out of her lie detector test with grumpy Danielle. Auggie sucked at being "a dead mouse" and crashed Lena's charade of a lie detector test in the real world. The moral of this story is that no one on this show is capable of just sitting down and FINISHING one of those things.

– "Billy Collins' poetry is overrated and derivative." Basically.

– What's AWOL Lena's next move?

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Covert Affairs S03E08: "Glass Spider"

On the plus side, Annie and Auggie made some itty bitty progress toward being BFFs again and I was vindicated in my belief that Lena sucked. However, in the end, we were left with the small matter of Simon (probably) being dead and Annie in rough shape herself, so I'm going to declare "Glass Spider" a draw. It's a draw because it currently sucks to be Annie, but it's totally awesome to be Annie's TV series.

Auggie and Annie checked out Jai's secret evidence lair and Annie realized that he was investigating Simon. With Simon suddenly the most obvious candidate for potential assassin, all eyes turned to him and Annie stepped in to spill the beans about her vacay in Cuba and what all Simon did for TRUE LOVE. Arthur and Joan were understandably miffed about the whole thing. I was just happy to get through an entire episode without one of their tired old marital spats, even if the entire vibe at the CIA suddenly shifted to something resembling "Mommy and Daddy are mad because that darn Annie got caught making out with her sleezy boyfriend in the driveway after curfew again."

Annie claimed that she was cultivating Simon as an asset (lie) and that he was THIS close to joining Team USA (lie) and they should just trust her because she totally knew what she was doing. Basically, "Simon is sweet, mom! He's just flawed. But I can CHANGE him!"

Momma bear Joan sent Annie off to the mall with a CIA entourage and a warning about dealing with the fallout. Then she tracked down that terrible influence of a co-worker, Lena, for a grumpy reprimand.

Meanwhile, Arthur, despite his irritation at Auggie meeting with Henry Wilcox to glean more information about Jai, met with Henry himself. Henry made it clear that he knew more than he let on with Auggie, but really, we've all known that. That entire storyline is just an exercise in patience. I know we'll get there eventually. I mean, Lena was fairly obvious from the start too.

I honestly didn't think she would be THAT evil, though. Throw Annie under the bus when the mission with Simon fell apart? Sure. Maybe she'd even go as far as to ruin Annie's credibility herself for some to-be-determined reason. But I humbly say that I did not peg Lena as the type to totally waste Annie's charming spy boyfriend before taking Annie out as well. Well done, Covert Affairs. Well done.

For a brief period of about ten minutes, it looked like Annie and Simon would play out in the only way it really could if we wanted them to remain a viable couple. After killing his handler, Simon was cast out of his own spy club. He became the epitome of a rogue agent, forced to become entirely self-sufficient, with no country or agency willing to back him. Annie caught up with him at a busy D.C mall and pitched her deal: If he sided with the CIA, they could live happily ever after. Or something. I thought that was some fairly naive thinking on Annie's part, though given a choice between crossing her fingers and hoping it all worked out or standing aside and letting her agency hunt him down like a criminal, I can understand why she went with the sales pitch that she did. Also: nice touch, smashing Auggie's mic.

Annie confessed, "This may have started out as a mission, but it turned into something more."

Simon said TTYL and Annie went back to Langley to face the music and be grounded FOREVER. No cars, no fake passports, no jetsetting to exotic locales with her charming assassin boyfriend— GROUNDED. DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME, ANNIE WALKER?

She asked about sticking around Joan's division but Joan didn't seem to want her around anymore. She tracked down the shooter at the mall and connected him to Jai's murder, but he offed himself before anyone could take him into custody. (How rude!) Auggie was grumpy about the whole stomping-on-his-mic thing and finally asked Annie if she deliberately let Simon go after the botched mall mission and if she loved him. Cue the awkward silence.

But then, finally, and maybe a little bit predictably, Simon showed up at Casa Walker to rescue Annie from the repercussions of her actions. He painted a romantic picture of a life on the run, a life lived for "each other" rather than "other people" and Annie was totally down with it. She got right to packing: a handful of passports, a few wads of cash from a small contingent of nations, and a photograph of her and Danielle as kids.

It's ALWAYS the photographs, man. ALWAYS.

While it would be easy, romantic, and liberating to hit the road with Simon and spend the rest of her life hiding from their former employers (I guess?), Annie realized that, unlike Simon, who is truly an island unto himself, Annie has family, friends, connections that depend on her and care about her.

I pick on Danielle a lot because she's written as an annoying, clueless "outsider" who has no concept of what Annie does or how important it is but truth be told, I've kind of missed her since she moved across the country. The move was essential, though. By killing off Jai, by giving Auggie his own encompassing drama to deal with, by taking Annie out of the comfort zone of Joan's department and plunking her into Lena's very different environment, and by removing Danielle from the picture almost entirely, the Covert Affairs writers have effectively isolated Annie from her usual support systems. The Annie of Season 1 and Season 2 would have never even considered Simon's offer and by ultimately refusing to go with him, as hard as that may have been, is a return to herself for Annie.

Unfortunately, we will have to postpone our celebrations. Before Annie could even explain her change of heart to Simon, Lena stepped out of the shadows and efficiently shot both Simon and Annie.

Let the conspiracy theorizing begin!

1. I wouldn't be surprised if Lena was responsible for Jai's death. Would you?

2. But WHY?

3. If Lena was responsible for killing Jai and Jai was investigating Simon, do we think that Lena and Simon had a connection? If so, what was that connection?

4. So help me, if we find out that Lena and Simon were a thing and this was all some kind of scorned lover revenge quest and all of Lena's man-hating hilarity came from having her heart broken by Simon back in the day, I'll... I don't know. There's really nothing I CAN do. But I certainly won't be happy.

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Covert Affairs S03E07: "Loving the Alien"

I see what you did there, Covert Affairs. I see what you did and I approve. After all that hullabaloo about how female spies aren't supposed to get involved with their targets because their delicate womanly feelings will make them fall in love and cause national security concerns and after all that teasing at Annie Walker's motivation for sticking with Simon against orders...Simon ended up being the one to make a bad business move in the name of true love.

Of course, that's not to say that Annie Walker remains a CIA ice queen, judging by a few of her responses throughout "Loving the Alien," but let it be known that Simon made the first play, stealthily assassinating his own handler, Hector, when the seasoned spy made it clear that he knew who Annie was and he wasn't going to let her leave Cuba.

Oh yeah, Annie and Simon went to Cuba this week. I just kept ogling the classic cars.

Annie went to Lena for an assist when Simon asked her to join him for his Caribbean business trip, and Lena was actually helpful and not at all her usual, grotesquely characterized self. She was blunt with Annie regarding the fact that she could not authorize a mission to Cuba because it was Cuba and "North Korea would be easier" to extract Annie from if (when) things went south. However, she remained supportive and even got Annie set up with an impressive copy of her passport so that she could enter Cuba without anyone in the U.S. knowing.

Auggie was a tougher sell, not entirely buying Annie's story about babysitting for her sister in California. Acquiring transcontinental babysitters typically takes more planning than a phone call, I would imagine.

After much noise was made over Annie's passport, the fact that Simon insisted on locking it in a safe when the couple arrived in Havana set off a few more alarms. Annie's credibility with her spy suitor has been crumbling recently—or at least it seems that way, given that our last few outings with Simon have been panic-plagued, last-minute dashes toward maintaining her Smithsonian sweetheart cover. It's getting to the point that I can't imagine that Simon, a seasoned spy himself, isn't at least a little bit suspicious.

So, I'm glad we addressed that issue this week! Sort of. It's still unclear exactly what Simon knows, but it's obvious that he knows enough to understand why Hector wanted to whack Annie at the cigar factory. It's also obvious that Simon is really, truly in love with Annie, whomever he thinks she is. That was a pretty awesome fake-out leading up to Hector's demise, and Annie's body language was pretty terrible, reading almost entirely of nervousness and defeat. I mean, c'mon girl, you're riding around the Cuban countryside with two stellar spies. At least try to pretend that you don't think they're planning to kill you. You're a professional.

Though to be fair, Hector bringing Danielle into the equation was definitely one of those OH SNAP moments meant to throw Annie off her game. She was, understandably, caught off-guard.

After offing his handler, Simon returned Annie's passport and stuck her on a plane back to the States. He claimed to be heading home for a few days to regroup, and promised to check in with her again. Does this mean his nefarious plan to turn that old KGB base into a giant signal-jamming station has fallen by the wayside? Could this force Simon to go on the run from his own people, sending him to Annie for help, and opening the door to a legitimate relationship between the two of them?

I'm less convinced of Annie's own distance myself. Lena was thrilled to hear about Simon taking Hector out for Annie, and planned to use his obvious feelings for Annie to manipulate him in a way that would benefit the CIA. Annie herself looked nauseous and so-not-thrilled during that entire conversation. Annie and Simon sitting in a tree, S-P-Y-uh-I-N-G.

Where do you think the leaky Annie-Simon ship will sail next?

– Joan and Arthur continue to be the most repulsive individuals on this show. I'm finding myself slowly starting to root against them just because they suck so much. I mean, they were always borderline unlikeable, but this season is just ridiculous.

– Auggie got back on the wagon pretty quickly, diving back into the investigation of Jai's murder and setting his sights (ha, ugh, even Auggie would have groaned over that one) on Papa Wilcox.

– Speaking of Auggie, how do we think things will go down when he inevitably figures out what Annie's been doing the past few weeks?

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Holy catfish, how happy are you that we are finally starting to break out of the summer lull and as such have more shows available to caption?! Choosing the champions for today's caption was a much closer call than it was yesterday (and this time I saw all the submissions, promise), so I just went with whatever made me smile the hardest. Here are the winners from yesterday's contest:

From Homerman92:

Alice: "We are out of lobster!"
"Everybody panic!"

JamesButko:

Alice: "If you ask me if I'm working hard or hardly working ONE MORE TIME, I will personally shove your head into the oven."

MicahSmith3:

Alice: "Damnit! Why does my wig have bangs?!?!?!?"

Tonight's "Loving the Alien" takes us to CUBA! Annie decides to accept Simon's offer to frolic off to Cuba together so she can secretly round up some extra dirt on him, but the CIA couldn't accompany her as backup on the trip, so she's left to her own devices (and fears). In the still below, Annie sits worriedly in a badass old car while Simon chills in the background in his dark blue blazer. Also, there's an old guy in the car. Post your best caption ideas in the comments!

Check out all of our recent winners on TV.com's Open Caption Pinterest Board.

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What to watch on Tuesday, August 28...

Whoa now, what's going on in TV tonight, right? Isn't that the question on everybody's mind? Let's cut to the chase real cool-like. Here's your TV line-up for tonight:

8pm, ABC Family
Pretty Little Liars
In "The Lady Killer" (wooOOo, saucy title) someone very close to Aria, Hanna, Emily, and Spencer is revealed to have been working with "A." Line up the list of suspects, folks. Also, Rosewood will turn into a cesspool for media activity thanks to the commencement of Garrett's murder trial.

9pm, USA
White Collar
Oh em gee, it's judicial sabotage. In tonight's "Compromising Positions" a crafty political fixer attempts to undermine a trial for a criminal that Peter originally put behind bars. Clearly, this criminal has something against Peter (the jail thing, you know) but it's up to Peter to make sure he doesn't get the "freedom" to take his vendetta any further.

SERIES PREMIERE, 10pm, TLC
Abby & Brittany
TLC is ramping up their reality show coverage with this new series, Abby & Brittany, about a pair of conjoined twins. Though not a particularly comfortable topic for many to tune-in for, it's certainly a glance into a lifestyle most of us aren't exposed to on a daily basis—and that might just be all you need to peak your interest. In "22nd Birthday Bash" Abby and Brittany celebrate their ...um, 22nd birthday.

10pm, USA
Covert Affairs
The award for weirdest episode title goes to tonight's "Loving the Alien." In it Annie will agree to take a trip to Cuba with Simon in order to learn more about him and any of the potentially illegal business matters he's involved in—the only problem is she has to swing this one solo because backup from the CIA can't tag along.

SEASON 4 FINALE, 10pm, MTV
Teen Mom
In the season finale of everyone's favorite glorification of the malpractice of safe sex, a whole season's worth of conflict will come to a head (as it tends to do during a finale). In "Wake Up" Ryan will confront Maci about his custody over their child, Tyler and Catelynn discuss their decision surrounding the adoption, Farrah pines for Sophia, and Amber has second thoughts about Gary's full custody over Leah. Hopefully the moral of this season is, "Man, it's tough being a teen mom" and not "man, I wish I could be a teen mom." We'll have to see!

PLUS ALL NEW EPISODES OF...
America's Got Talent, 8 p.m., NBC
Republican National Convention, 8 p.m., PBS, CNN, MSNBC
Pretty Little Liars, 8 p.m., ABC Family
19 Kings and Counting, SEASON PREMIERE, 9 p.m., TLC
Beverly Hills Nannies, 9 p.m., ABC Family
Dance Moms, 9 p.m., Lifetime
Face Off, 9 p.m., Syfy
Hard Time, 9 p.m., NatGeo
MasterChef, 9 p.m., Fox
Mobsters, 9 p.m., Bio
Mysteries at the Museum, 9 p.m., Travel
Property Virgins, 9 p.m., HGTV
Shipping Wars, 9 p.m., A&E;
Top Gear, 9 p.m., BBC America
White Collar, 9 p.m., USA
Abby & Brittany, SERIES PREMIERE, 10 p.m., TLC
Addicted, 10 p.m., Discovery Fitness & Health
All the Right Moves, 10 p.m., Oxygen
Chopped, 10 p.m., Food Network
Counting Cars, 10 p.m., BBC America
Covert Affairs, 10 p.m., USA
Gangsters: America's Most Evil, 10 p.m., Bio
Hard Knocks: Training Camp With the Miami Dolphins, 10 p.m., HBO
Secret Brain, 10 p.m., Science
Storage Wars, 10 p.m., A&E;
Teen Mom, SEASON 4 FINALE, 10 p.m., MTV
The Week the Women Went, 10 p.m., Lifetime
Collection Intervention, 10:30 p.m., Syfy
House Hunters International, 10:30 p.m., HGTV
The Burn With Jeff Ross, 10:30 p.m., Comedy Central

LATE-NITE PICKS:
Alanis Morissette on Chelsea Lately, 11 p.m., E!
Amy Adams, Paul Teutul Sr., and Paul Teutul Jr. on Late Show with David Letterman, 11:35 p.m., CBS
Lisa Kudrow on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, 11:35 p.m., CBS
Larry King on The Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson, 12:37 a.m., CBS

What are you watching tonight?

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Covert Affairs S03E06: "Hello Stranger"

After spending half the season building up the tension between Annie and Simon and Annie and Joan and Annie and...everyone, "Hello Stranger" felt like a throwback to previous seasons of Covert Affairs with its rather cut-and-dry mission and squeaky-clean ending. The Prime Minister of Yemen was admitted to the Mayo Clinic under heavy State Department monitoring to undergo heart surgery. Annie thought that would be a good time to turn his chief of staff, Sayid, into a CIA asset. Despite his protestations, in the end, Annie's dreamy blather about saving the world, one little piece at a time, spoke to the repressed idealist in Sayid and he ended up calling the asset hotline...right after Annie told Joan she requested a transfer out of the department.

Okay, so it wasn't a completely squeaky-clean ending. Still fuming about Eyal being sicced on her in Jerusalem, Annie has basically adopted the "taking my toys and going home" method of coping with her co-workers. At least she didn't go crawling back to Lena.

Does Annie seem just a little off her rocker to anyone else? Sure, she's showing assertion and being proactive, reminding everyone who will listen that she is a fierce spying machine. However, she's also been ignoring orders at an alarming rate, which makes her anger at being reevaluated by her superiors kind of childish. Has Annie always been this impulsive? If not, why the sudden change?

Joan raised a good point during her little chat with Annie when she said that the spy life was good for her, that she was happy in her line of work, but that it isn't for everyone. Annie is an excellent operative, but lots of people are very skilled in positions that they don't particularly enjoy. Could this be the case with Annie? In the past, there was never any doubt that she loved her job and loved what she did, but this season, we've seen Annie grow angrier at the system, unhappy with her current place, and I wonder if she has finally simply burned out.

Meanwhile, Auggie tried to kill his therapist with a blindfold and a cane. Actually, he tried to reach out and teach her how to cross the street as a blind person, theoretically in an attempt to enlighten her to his experience as a man who could once see and found himself forced to adapt to an entirely different way of life as an adult. I'd understand if she thought it was an attempted homicide, though.

Auggie's shrink learned quickly, and in no time at all, she and Auggie were having a grand old time frolicking back and forth across the street. However, she didn't care much for his essential takeover of her session. She pointed out that the lesson was a nifty distraction from talking about Auggie's real issues. He admitted that he once tried to kill himself by wandering into traffic, only to be saved/disappointed by the affected drivers' surprisingly good reflexes. However, Auggie bristled at the idea of examining that incident any deeper than the surface—it happened, he survived, end of story.

Still, the fact that Auggie went to therapy at all should count as some sort of progress considering his doctor gave him her blessing not to come to sessions at all last week. Auggie reached out. He's a control freak. I don't think that being stuck in a room talking about things he'd rather not talk about is an approach that will work for Auggie. At one point, the doctor asked, "Are you always trying to manage people and situations?"

Have you read his job description, lady?

So, how long until Auggie and his hot lady doctor end up doing the naked tango together? It's going to happen. Search your feelings, you know it to be true.

– "And you claim this is a free country!" Okay, look dude, I'm not one of those people who gets bent out of shape about where it is and is not acceptable to smoke, but for SURELY even hospitals in Yemen would frown upon lighting up in the ICU?

– This week, Action Annie got to wear scrubs and masquerade as a nurse (or doctor!) to evade capture. In an attempt to mellow some of the angst that seems to have invaded Covert Affairs this season, I propose regular missions involving situation-appropriate costuming. We've had Nurse Action Annie. How about a cop? French maid? French maid is a classic. Maybe she can borrow some of Amy Pond's kissagram costumes?

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